oh my god

I'm trying to get through metalsmith school without acting like I'm 12 but look at what I have to deal with

Finally finished Conquest, jfc

Ha ha!! I'm deeply depressed

Life is so short. What do you want? Before you die? Simple or complex, it doesn't matter. We could all die tomorrow. I get the feeling most people don't realize that.

I want to just say, "I need to make friends my age!" like it's that simple It would be beneficial to me to make friends that enjoy talking to and bonding with each other. Just like. Sometimes. I spent most of my life feeling that that was a normal desire. But I think. It's possibly supposed to happen subconsciously. That we aren't supposed to notice it, drink it in. Perhaps it's more of an amusement or background delight in the context of our normal lives. Even the way I am inclined to word this, "I suppose this might be of interest to some," as if my personal experience is negligible. Which is stronger? My own pre-programmed assumptions, or a practiced tongue-biting in the face of disinterest? I have to hope that Deiniol's story gets communicated to at least a few people. If one person can grow because of Deiniol, then at least my time will not have been wasted. It's always a little weird too, like, am I psyching myself out simply because I am surrounded by a particular kind of person? I am leagues beyond where I was a few years ago, and surrounded by good company, probably? But is my self-doubt and hesitance *still* fueled by my surroundings? Have I still not found a world as full of love and truth as I hoped for? Is it love and truth I'm even searching for?

casually eats an entire wedge of gruyère