“I don’t want you to swear any such thing nor will I promise to do what you ask! […] I am a free agent, sir. You have no right to try to control my actions and I would be glad if you would not try to do so in future. As to what I have been doing these last two weeks, there is only one man who has any right to ask me to account for myself: my husband. But I have no husband and have no intention of marrying, ever!”

—Christine Daaé; The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux (translated by David Coward)

The last play I watched before the pandemic was a Beauty And The Beast adaptation and when Gaston proposed to Belle there was this little boy in the audience who yelled NOOO DON’T SAY YES, so when Belle naturally turned him down Gaston turned to the boy with his hands on his hips and said “well, now look what you’ve done”  

#no one breaks the fourth wall like gaston

Chubby is valid.

A little close-up. Pay attention to Heisenberg sleeve: it's so dirty, even on the Jacket's lapel he has some spots!

The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students.

The students digging it because the craziness and the bugs are pretty much the same as any other dorm house. Also, Morticia and Gomez treat them all like visiting cousins, not like tenants to abuse and exploit. 

One of the tenants is a creative writing major and Gomez and Morticia house them up in the tower because of the quiet and the inspiring view

They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance

They go to their room after classes one day and find Thing correcting the grammar errors in the manuscript with a red pen 

and yeah, the students pay roughly market value for their rooms, but that doesn’t stop gomez from shouting “capital idea!” and handing them wads of cash when they tell him about their weekend plans or what they’re researching, so they basically end up living there for free

In the same vein, half the them have to turn into exceptional fencers, because Gomez just doesn’t give a shit, and if he sees you in the library, its fucking Sword Fighting Time. 

Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to “water” balloons in campus history. 

Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But it’s fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom. 

Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone who’s too much of a coward for Grammy’s cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when he’ll smile, and slowly applaud. 

And the spookiest thing of all

Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable. 

There is no escape. 

I especially love the idea of Gomez spotting a student in the library, throwing a sword at a startled student, shouting, “En garde!” and lunging at him/her with a sword of his own.

Student (later in life), when asked how she jumps from quietly doing research to handling a sudden influx of ER cases so quickly and easily, says, “When you have to snap out of deep concentration on biochem to fight for your life then get back to biochem without losing your train of thought…you learn or you die.”

This has made me laugh so hard-

And you know how chatty Gomez is when he fights, he’d probably help more students work through creative blocks via swordplay than any education counselor in a stuffy little office.

Gomez Addams as the embodiment of the Rubber Duck Method for struggling students via surprise swordplay is directly on brand.

And I firmly believe that long-term residents who finish their degrees suddenly, mysteriously, find that their student loans have been paid off. The family attends every single graduation ceremony and claps and cheers for “their” students as boisterously as any parent. They make a particular point of doing so for the ones who have no other family in attendance.

do u ever want something so bad that you can’t even write wish-fulfillment about it u just. cry. instead.

I fucking CRY everytime I read these. Out of the good feels.

Someone tell me why this man is so hot Lord have mercy

a mischievous child

i did infact draw Heisenberg art

ill post them all in one cause i dont wanna spam my feed

he can find out what’s in my hole

Here are some facts for y’all since some trolls have been coming for the Heisenberg tag claiming he’s nazi because of the dog tags he has and his last name being of German descent.

Fact 1: The dog tags you see around his neck were used by the Germans in WW1 starting in 1916.

Fact 2: Heisenberg has been with Miranda since he was a child. Miranda lost Eva in 1919 and began her experiments shortly thereafter.

Fact 3: Lady Dimitrescu was turned before Heisenberg which is why she calls him child. Dimitrescu was turned at some point in the 1940s or 1950s fully grown and during WW2.

Fact 4: Heisenberg is a German name, but the Heisenberg family from which Karl is a descendant of was present in Romania prior to his change. He inherited the factory that was already built in the village in Romania by the time he was born. This means that he did not immigrate from Germany.

So in conclusion Heisenberg’s family was present in Romania prior to the start of WW2 and he was taken for experimentation by Miranda around the same time or shortly after Dimitrescu was turned during the war. The dog tags are most likely either a relic of WW2 he found aesthetically pleasing or, more likely IMO, a product of WW1 that came with his family when they settled in Romania. Also I will again point out that while Heisenberg is 100% a villain/bad guy he NEVER experimented on living subjects like the other lords or Nazis. His army is built from the dead bodies that have piled up under Miranda’s own neglect. Thank you that is all~

Edit: But that is not all. I’ve also seen people pointing to the film Frankenstein’s Army (2013) as proof that the film that clearly inspired a lot of Heisenberg and his monsters is a nazi horror movie. Well I watched it today and guess what?

*Film spoilers below, it’s actually kind of an awesome/cheesy movie*

The titular army is largely comprised of dead nazis because the Frankenstein who created it turned on them. He didn’t agree with what they were doing and was making an army of the dead to try to end the war once and for all. The Frankenstein in this did use live subjects though so Capcom did make Heisenberg to be a bit better. Now that is all~