I think he’s serious.
i say we lean into this. republicans only operate on knee jerk culture war reaction logic these days, so if we convince them highways and free parking spaces are communist and soy and woke we can trick them into abolishing car culture to own the libs
Tomorrow maybe I will prepare my favourite dish, Rice With Ingredient
This! Or I might mix it up and make…Noodle With Ingredient!!
I’ve been fucking around with Potato With Ingredient lately
once in a while i make ingredient soup with crusty bread
i can’t hate read about the lives of rich people otherwise i’ll have blood pressure problems.. they say shit like “we had to push back our yearly summer europe trip by a month and our normal villa was booked so we had to go somewhere with six bedrooms instead of eight and it’s SO hot in italy this time of year😭” and it’s real to them. like that’s a real thing they’re experiencing and view as “a problem.” that’s what they’re struggling with, right now, in this day and age. what if i killed you with my bare hands
a lot of pieces of media will show characters catching fireflies with just their bare hands. in some cases they will just land on the persons fingers. to gently be placed inside of a jar..
for people who live in areas who don’t have fireflies, i want you to know that is not made up or exaggerated for those scenes. fireflies are really like that. they are slow and not cautious at all. while camping i would just walk up to one flying in the air and grab it. and it would sit on my hands like “oh ok.” they are my friends.
also i think it’s funny when fireflies are portrayed as round light bulb-ish shapes. they are skinny.
also their butts are yellow even when not lit up. they’re not just all black until suddenly lighting up yellow! they always got little yellow asses!
they are such friends
fireflies our beloveds <3
Thought people might appreciate this video I got of a firefly that landed on my mom’s ring and sat there flashing for about a good minute or two. They really are just like that
I've had to let a couple people know that fireflies are in fact real.
If you're one of todays lucky ten thousand, i'm happy for you. The world is a marvelous place <3
i support universal free healthcare for one simple reason: if you are diagnosed with a terminal illness you should quit your job. quitting your job is the correct response to terminal illness. but you can’t do that if your healthcare is tied to your job
listen if somebody knows that they will be dead in a years time, and you are forcing them to continue to come into work, that’s fucked up. terminally ill people should be able to quit their jobs and live their last few months to the fullest. i don’t get how that’s a controversial opinion
as an ace attoney fan saul goodman drives me absolutely insane because like. this man is an ace attoney character. a main ace attorney character.
his name is a play on words. he does all his own investigations. he's a funny silly jokes man who makes things hell for the opposition. he has over the top mannerisms. him and kim take turns being each other's weird little girls. he has an emotionally devastating backstory
by every conceivable metric this guy is like. the guy who bothers you and obstructs your investigations for the whole game before becoming the defendant in the final case.
and yet somehow, instead of ending up in the ace attorney universe, where his shenanigans would be rewarded and he'd learn about the power of friendship, he ends up in like? an actual serious crime drama? where he is constantly under threat of arrest or disbarment for his shenanigans. like rip man you would've loved cross examining the witness' pet parrot
Okay, but I would pay extra for this driveway.
Um, can I please get every neighborhood kid and animal to come walk across my driveway? Can I get a cat to just run around on there? This flock of ducks did such an amazing job!
I was 18 months old when my parents built their house. After pouring the concrete slab for the foundation, my father, world’s most sentimental man, carried me down into the hole so he could preserve a single imprint of my little baby foot in the house he was building for me to grow up in.
Naturally, I wriggled loose, so what is actually preserved for posterity in my parents’ basement floor is my mad dash through this glorious new mud pit, followed by my father’s footprints in hot pursuit, a visible scuffle where the fugitive was captured, and then my father’s prints returning to the ladder.
I hope some future archeologist finds your parent’s basement floor because they’re going to lie down on the ground and cry about it.
Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics.
If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%.
if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%.
thats how that works.
Wow I don’t understand math at all
‘if you have a baby after 35, the chance of deformities goes up by 100%’ is a line I hear alot.
It goes up from .5% to 1%
I think my brain just stopped working
100% is just another way of saying twice more likely. So 100% more basically means multiply the number you do have by 2.
Imagine how many woman are scared to have kids because of that statistic
This is why I took stats instead of calc. Because I don’t build engineer bridges in my everyday life but I sure do read studies that affect how I might live my life if I misinterpret them.
I’m terrible at numbers and math but I knew this and I really take it for granted. The average person definitely assumes, quite understandably, that “600% INCREASE!!!” must always mean a whole lot even if it literally only means that one of something is now six of something. Politicians probably take a shitload of advantage of this confusion.
just remember that increased BY and increased TO are very different things.
Oh god I didn’t even think about that whole other layer of confusion. Yeah if you’ve got 100 people and one of them is sick, that’s 1% of them who are sick, so if it “increased BY 100%” then that means now two people are sick. If it’s “increased TO 100%” then all 100 people are sick.
Reblogging again for that last addition.
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
Pokemon with Synchronize when they get poisoned:
Pokemon Heritage Post
I like art that depicts women not posing seductively or gracefully but simply existing as human beings.
this is a much better photo than @prawnlegs & i managed to get of this exact car while i was driving with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. absolutely bizarre to see it pop up on my dash from my friend halfway across the entire world
these people tell on themselvesss like they’ll swear up and down that skincare is about ✨self care✨ and 🌱health 🌱 and 🤍 pampering yourself 🤍 and not an obsessive fear of aging and ugliness that’s being exploited by a 100 billion dollar industry, but if you express any modicum of surprise or exasperation or disinterest at their nightly twelve-step routine, they’re like shut up you ugly wrinkled dusty hag. umm okay patrick bateman but i thought it was about self care not beauty 🤔
eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.
no one needs to add “sounds fake but ok”, “no”, “well, not me”, “impossible”, etc. to this post. and i’d rather you not.
one day you think: I want to die.
and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book.
and I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun
I want a cleaner kitchen
I want a better job
I want to live somewhere else
I want to live
The thing to understand is that Depression
Even When It Is Trying to Kill You!
Is Defensive.
Your brain exists to preserve you; it’s just Dumb, and how it goes about “preserving” is determined by evolution’s ‘Good Enough’ meat-and-chemistry mechanisms rather than a firm grasp of biology.
You know how, stuck atop a burning building, ppl will sometimes throw themselves off in a vain hope of surviving? That’s what depression-driven suicide is. You are under THAT amount of stress, often sustained for a FAR longer time. Your brain only understands “Stress”: it doesn’t know causes, it doesn’t know Events, and it only has the one set of instinctive ‘extreme measures’ to fall back on. I made things SO hard on myself for SO Long conceiving of Depression as a Fight I had to Win, rather than a chronic illness in need of my understanding and careful management.
Help your brain. Nurse it. Ask yourself where it hurts and why. Recognize that the desire to die is a symptom, an injury, and not your ‘Truth’. Try to calm it, Try to endure: It WILL Pass. As perverse as it sounds, your desire to die is an expression of how PASSIONATELY you want to get away from the pain tormenting you; of how MUCH you want to LIVE. PLEASE Live!
If you’re not in a place to accept positive messages, here’s a cynical way to look at it. The day after my suicidal tendencies peaked but my plans failed purely because my body and survival instincts told me to fuck off… I just looked at my life the next day like “oh, had I succeeded in my plan, I wouldn’t be working this shitty job today, I would no longer be in this toxic relationship, I wouldn’t be living in this place I hate living, etc, etc so why am I still doing all these things?”
You can just start killing the life you hate one stressor at a time. What do you have to lose? You already want out.
Not my usual schtick, but my 20′s sucked b/c of anxiety/depression. And this narrates pretty closely to exactly what happened to me. Over the course of a decade or so, but still.
