mindless, spineless, and pretend

I decided it was time I started drawing some of the dozens of the comics I have written in my notes app.

unrequited love for siblings is the saddest thing you could ever portray on its own but over the garden wall said what if the kid is like the sweetest most kindhearted five year old you could imagine and he loves his brooding wistful bitch of an older brother sooo so much and enough to offer up his life in exchange for his brothers when his older brother saw him this whole time as just an annoying step sibling at best and a nuisance at worst and you cant be too mad cause hes also a kid and then when he finally figures it all out it saves them both, the decision to leave lethargy and the rot of melancholy behind and take the love he already has as proof the world is worth it after all and aaa a a. aaaaaa. aaaaaaa. aaa. what a sweet story. what a lovely thing.

Fandom is so different now and it’s becoming un-fun with how quickly shit moves.

I just want to enjoy things. I don’t want to have to play a game of Artist-Race that seems to be afoot lately.

Ya’ll eat up fandoms, leave artists and writers bone dry and then move on so fucking quickly then fucking wonder where all the Good Fandom Stuff is.

Idk Maybe cherish some things for longer. Reblog stuff. Interact with people. Comment and share.

Fandom is Capitalism now and I’m not being nuanced.

people also seem obsessed with only Doing Fandom about currently active works?

“oh, I’m so sad that show ended! I really miss the fandom!” who said you have to leave, coward

The only way around that this Fandom Old can see is to Actively Make Your Fandom Fun.

Back in the 90s, the fandom I delurked to join wasn’t the one for my favorite show, wasn’t the most recent thing I’d seen, wasn’t the one with the best fanfiction or anything else.  It was the one that made being in the fandom look like a good time.

They had Official Fandom Factions that people declared allegiance to (as many as they wanted) and we had Fandom Wars every six months or so in which the fandom had a fun fanfiction battle in which people competed for their Faction. 

Every week we had discussion on a different episode of the show.  (This was pretty standard on listservs back in the day.)   People created fan works as gifts for other fans in exchange for donated money or time for various causes.  (Letter writing campaigns to support the show or encourage dvd releases were common, but also more traditional charity campaigns.)   There were giveaways and silly themed days and events….

So..I don’t know…if you want to keep a fandom alive once a show has stopped airing, make it fun.  Fandoms get bored after a while and the only thing they have to do is have more and more bitter discourse these days.  Maybe if we could create elaborate imaginary bases for our faves and launch toilet paper attacks on other fans’ bases (yes this is the kind of shit we did) we would all relax a little. 

I think we all need a little enrichment in our enclosures, in other words.  And if we don’t find that in fandom, we will just move on to the next act of consumption. 

Reminder that Hetalia's England deserves to be recognized as a retired Tumblr sexyman on this hellsite, alongside runner-up Reigen and champion Sans.

The Spy Kids movies have the exact vibe of when you and your friends are running around in the backyard creating an elaborate story based entirely around whatever random nonsense happens to be lying around.  This empty happy meal box is a computer.  If I spin this bop-it the right way it will unlock the secret door.  We have to get to the jets! (The jets are the swings).  My little sister says her pigtails spin around and let her fly and we all agree with that.  These swim goggles let me see through walls.  There are a series of stepping stones leading to a big rock in the middle of the garden.  The rock is the office of the Head Spy and the dirt is actually a bottomless pit, so you have to be careful when you jump across.  The bad guys have disabled all our weapons but my necklace is actually a secret super cool weapon that works anyway!  There’s logic and continuity but only as much as a bunch of five-to-twelve year olds can keep straight without bothering to keep notes or look up any science facts they don’t already happen to know.  This is not a complaint.

just a girl in her room trying to forgive herself

do it for her (your thirteen year old self)

when people say my name im like.   cant believe i exist

reblog to heal the person you reblogged this from

Idk if you need it but free +10 hp

I cannot emphasize enough how much of a life hack it is to exclusively be friends with, date and marry people who are not constantly mean assholes to you.

This may seem like basic common sense, but one interesting (and kind of terrifying) thing I recently read was that some individuals who grew up in an emotionally abusive environment find that their anxiety level actually decreases in the presence of those who are mean or overly critical of them because it's familiar. Their nervous systems are hard wired to react to that kind of treatment as "normal" in the sense that it knows what to do with it--what defense mechanisms to employ when, etc.

Meanwhile, kinder, more peaceful, and healthier relationships are quite a dramatic adjustment, and ironically feel less predictable because of all the threats that are absent and never materialize. It feels suspicious or too good to be true, which in turn ratchets up hypervigilance and hyper-arousal. Instead of knowing what BS is coming because it always does, there's the nebulous sense that the other shoe is just waiting to drop. Safety and respect can feel the most unsafe for a while, because as far as the traumatized nervous system is concerned, those things don't exist, or if they do in any form, there must be a million unseen strings attached.

This is part of what traps a lot of people in abusive relationships, consistently draws them to want to please assholes, or keeps them moving from one unhealthy environment to the next--a highly toxic comfort of familiarity where being on the receiving end of cruelty feels like "home".