Aww, thank you! That is extremely sweet!

I started dating my now-fiance around the time I started using tumblr, so there is a real timeline of our relationship going on scattered between all the silly posts I have on here. We'll have been together for 11 years when we get married later this year!

This isn't weird! It's really nice! Thank you! I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier! I work from home, so it's easy to just wear PJs all the time-- I like to deliberately make the effort to put together outfits sometimes just to keep from falling in that run even if only people on the internet see them.

So for some reason I haven't checked my inbox in months and now I have all these nice messages-- thank you so much!

The funny thing about that story is that I wrote it in one weekend while I was bored at district chorus, and I typed it up because I thought it'd amuse my sister-- I had no idea how many other weird teenagers would enjoy it, too! I basically put every inside joke or running gag or reference I had into that story, so looking back at it is like a time capsule of everything I thought was funny when I was 14.

Me: Spends two years saving up for the wedding, specially sets aside chunks of my income specifically for the wedding, deliberately plans my budget around this big upcoming expense

Also me: Checks my bank account and utterly freaks out because my balance is lower than it was earlier this year.... because I spent the money on exactly what I intended to spend it on at the time when I planned to spend it.

There's a part of my mind that still thinks the wedding is two years away when it's actually less than two months away!

My condolences to any theatre company currently rehearsing or performing a production of King Charles III and having a highkey awkward time of it

I love how about a third of the characters in the Game of Thrones universe have some silly little nickname and personal catchphrase that everyone uses with perfectly straight faces while having serious conversations. Every council meeting is like,

"My lord, the Spatula grows more treacherous by the day. He must be stopped."

"The Milkshake is right, Your Grace. Soon his forces will be encroaching on the bay, into the lands of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy."

"This has not escaped my notice, Ser Boring Guy With No Nickname. The Spatula is the gravest threat to the kingdom. But what can we do about it?"

"I have ten thousand troops ready at your command. Simply say the word and they will march to his castle gates. You know my house words, Your Grace."

"Yes, yes. The Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard."

I quite enjoyed the new Elvis movie, especially Austin Butler. I was way more excited for this movie to come to HBOMax than I really had any sensible reason to, but this is the type of movie that just activates the part of my brain that enjoys Shakespeare history plays where miserable dying kings in expensive glittery costumes say things like, “Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.”

If I were making this movie, I’d make one major change. Not actually to make the movie better, just for fun. This film doesn’t shy away from bold, strange choices or deliberate use of an anchronism to draw parallels between Elvis’ career and the 21st century. So if this were my movie, I’d cast Tommy Wiseau as Colonel Tom Parker. Just kinda playing himself, wearing his usual wardrobe, doing his typical shtick. Never deliberately lampshaded or referenced, just doing the exact same script without any changes.

You’d get the same general effect of, “This is a weird, off-putting guy. He looks weird, he acts weird, he sounds weird. When the camera zooms in on him, it sets off your flight or fight response because his vibes are uncanny. He has an idiosyncratic and untraceable accent but won’t say where he’s from. He uses turns of phrase that nobody else really does. He doesn’t really seem to know much about the business he’s breaking into. He’s quite unprofessional in his professional relationships. And he just generally seems sketchy and unsavory. But you also just can’t stop watching him.”

And you’d save a LOT on prosthetics and makeup.

I was talking earlier today about how I didn’t wear shorts for like 5 years when I was a teenager because I felt awkward in them, and even now I have a really hard time finding shorts that fit properly. I always either feel like I am so scantily clad as to not belong in polite society or like I’m swimming in super baggy long shorts.

But my friend in Bri gave me these shorts the other day and I think they’re really cute and actually FIT and I wanted to make one more summery outfit before it gets too cold! (It’s vintagey inspired because I just watched the Elvis movie. And yes, my shirt is a swimsuit top. I haven’t had a chance to wear it this summer. Call me Little Edie Beale if you must!)

Sometimes I wake up in a thundering panic like OH NO I FORGOT TO DO MY PROJECT ON GLASSBLOWING AT JAMESTOWN AND IT’S DUE TODAY and then I remember that I’m 30 years old, the glassblowing project was in 4th grade, and not only did I do it on time, I got an A on it. I feel like once you know that’s how I often start my day, that explains a lot about me.