@ruffboijuliaburnsides / ruffboijuliaburnsides.tumblr.com
solomonic tomato soup 🤭
(credits to @BluehairCoffee on twitter)
This is so much fun. I love the spirit. I unironically love the solomonic tomato soup array.
ASSIGNMENT FOR MY FELLOW OCCULTISTS:
Recreate the Tomato Soup Sigil in your magical system of choice. Show me the runic soup array. A Tomato Cross. A Tomatvesir.
@rudjedet @thatlittleegyptologist how potentially real would a judeo-egyptian squirrel defixio be?
Hi hello!! The king has been overthrown, what now?? Why a new one ofcourse :D
The absolute stress of having a Medievalist reading my time travel silliness fic and the absolute joy of having positive comments from them.
To get slightly real, I love history but I’m a college dropout and I did not get good HIST grades (famously had a professor tell me my sources were too old), so to know that the love of history I just picked up from vibing around in books and on the internet is translating into a pleasant experience for someone who actually knows things is a lot.
which fic is this?
My incomplete history degree-having ass loves it too, tho that's not nearly as impressive as a proper medievalist.
these pizzas are in fighting for their lives in the artic rn
Hey, I've worked at multiple grocery stores over the years, and these pizzas are no longer safe for human consumption. This frost means the freezer has been turned on and off and on and off a bunch of times, melting and thawing and refreezing over and over. Don't buy food covered in thick frost.
i promise you the ingredients of those frozen pizzas are more damaging to your health than whatever minimal amount of bacteria managed to grow in between fridge outages
why are you catholic
why are you pro mold and catholic
genuinely this is so devastating for him
my streamer gets so few bitches that his closest friends thinks he might be asexual
Aimsey just chirping this poor boy within an inch of his life.
so the thing about the slime army in quackity’s most recent lore that keeps getting to me surprisingly isn’t actually the human rights violation part of it (although i have MANY thoughts about that as well, don’t get me wrong, c!quackity my little fucked up meow meow) but instead the fucked up tragedy of it? imagine a loss so brutal that you’ll do anything, anything to get even a fraction of that friendship back. imagine being in a place where teaching hundreds of slimes to be human seems like a good, solid idea of what to do next. and that’s a big part of what stood out to me, and what i wish had been elaborated on more– c!quackity didn’t say he wanted to teach the slimes to be good soldiers, no, he wanted to teach them to be human! this wasn’t really focused on at all in lore, because narratively the slimes existed to provide an obstacle for c!dream and c!purpled so they just ended up being, well, meat slime shields (good soldiers) but c!quackity explicitly said he wanted them to be human, and i think that could be so interesting if explored further. what could’ve happened if c!quackity had slowed down a bit with the human/slime rights violations? if he really had taught them to be human? if his fear for the fate of las nevadas hadn’t been quite so intense, if he didn’t think he needed obedient soldiers quite so badly?
honestly, he probably wouldn’t have fucking done it! lets be honest here, if he’d had even an ounce less fear he would’ve hopefully seen sense and not done. Well. ThatTM. c!quackity i adore you but what the fuck. what the absolute fuck.
anyway, that’s a moot point at the moment (… unless i want to explore it in fic. which you know what, maybe i will. maybe i’ll write a fic where c!quackity gets cold feet like halfway into his slime army montage and suddenly has to deal with the consequences of his human/slime rights violations.)
(… actually wait that could be a really interesting fic oh shit.)
but ANYWAY, moving on, in canon c!quackity’s fear was so intense that he did do it, and he did it in such a way that he got good, obedient soldiers, and not much else.
ngl, that’s part of the reason why i’m so attached to the c!dream lore that never was– c!quackity taking another L there and having c!dream just slip out of his fingers like that, while in/near his own city, provides a really fascinating backdrop for this character decision. c!purpled betrayed him. c!slime is dead. c!techno escaped. c!dream escaped twice. c!sam lied to him, and failed to contain c!dream twice. yeah, he needs people for his city because that casino opening was embarrassing as fuck, but that’s not the only reason now, is it? las nevadas is in danger. this is his last chance, his last hurrah– failure is unacceptable. he’s grieving, he wants his friend back. he’s desperate and scared, he needs protection, and people that agree with him, and if he blurs his memories of c!slime enough–
well. there was loyalty there. a willingness to die for him. c!quackity can work with that.
(in the end, c!quackity’s grief intermingled with his fear in the worst of ways. his attempt to just get something, anything of his friend back became something so much worse, so much darker. something that made even said friend look at him differently when he saw what he’d done. he said he wanted the slimes to be human, but stamped out every part of the process that had truly made c!slime human in the first place.)
I wanna write a Hob/Dream fic except it's Dream being like "now we shall have sex" and Hob is like "wait for real" and Dream is like "why would it not be for real" and Hob is like "okay but like imaginary dream sex or like here in my bed right now, what are we talking" and Dream is like "firstly. dream sex is real sex. secondly yeah here on your bed in the waking world, what is confusing" and Hob is like "...like anal sex?" and Dream is like "...if you like? this seems more distressing to you than I anticipated?" Hob is like "well ever since I found out you're the King of Dreams (which was NOT my guess for what your deal was btw fyi) I sorta assumed you...didn't? have the parts?" and Dream is like "the parts?" and Hob has no fucking idea if this. this. being. if he has a penis and balls and or a vagina and or a butthole or like what, is like the deal. what's up down there. metaphysically speaking. "does your kind have sex to reproduce?" and Dream is like "sometimes yes but usually no" and then Hob is like "do you need to eat food to live" and Dream is like *SCOFF* really scoffily because he is a dick, and Hob, losing his mind, is like "okay then you see my confusion because, and I'll be crude here, why do you even need genitals or an asshole" and Dream, horny, is like "FOR SEX"
They get pretty close to having sex but then Hob is like "okay but if you have urethra, do you also have kidneys? do you need kidneys? you're the creator and creation of humanity's collective subconscious, right? can you get a kidney stone??" and Dream, who hasn't fucked in a thousand years by the way and was really looking forward to doing so, is like "I get a kidney stone if I desire to have a kidney stone" and Hob is like "somehow that's more confusing"
Hob is at last ready, he's like "okay, great, cool, I'm ready. do we need a condom" and Dream is like "do you think a condom could possibly protect you" and Hob is like "I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR ANATOMY. AND I DON'T LIKE HOW YOU PHRASED THAT"
This by the way is the funniest post people could think is about the Minecraft guy
Thankfully the mention of Hob in the first 5 words and before Dream kept me from mistaking it for DreamWasTaken, but I gotta say this would be absolutely WILD to mistake for the minecrafter.
....just noticed that at the beginning of Techno’s epic charity stream, he’s talking about how the donation site is scuffed, and like...
that is NOT an american turn of phrase.
but it is one that Philza Minecraft uses.
Fucking. Adorable.
Hey congrats on the new job and getting through your 1st day! 🎉
Thank you!
when you reblog an ask prompt and get no asks
New job first day. AAAAAAHHHHHHH. I'm ok.
First break. This is honestly so far the nicest job I've ever had (and best-paying by an order of almost $4/hr). I've only got a handful of coworkers who all seem quite nice, I have my own office, I get 2 paid breaks and an hour lunch, and they got donuts for my first day.
I'm not yet halfway through my first day, but I think this is gonna be a good job.
First day successful!
Very cute! Snakes can drink water in a more normal-looking way - but the cup setup is a little awkward, and anyway lots of snakes like to be a bit silly with it! I have several who like to drink water exclusively with their heads resting on the bottom of their water bowls!
this suggests we are not just slightly more complicated straws
the thing about cracking open a long-established popular ship tag on ao3 is that it allows you to be extraordinarily picky, and i think it must be the closest thing i will ever experience to being filthy rich. i scroll along at super speed like no today i am only interested in fics with this precise range of words and one of these three tags. only authors i’ve heard of, please. hmm, i suppose i could consider an unknown quantity given its apparent popularity with the people, but… no, no, this summary doesn’t do it for me. no particular reason, it’s just… eh, i don’t need to explain myself. bring me 50 more like this for me to choose from and we’ll see.
New job first day. AAAAAAHHHHHHH. I'm ok.
First break. This is honestly so far the nicest job I've ever had (and best-paying by an order of almost $4/hr). I've only got a handful of coworkers who all seem quite nice, I have my own office, I get 2 paid breaks and an hour lunch, and they got donuts for my first day.
I'm not yet halfway through my first day, but I think this is gonna be a good job.
"i can mumble rap and still be the best there is" is an underrated funny hermit gang line bc like. can u imagine rendog mumbling anything. that man has the strongest dictation known to man and talks so loud the hermits have to turn him down in voicemod /lh
put your number (0-20) in the tags!!!!!! i think i got 14!!
anyone who comments that finding ways to enjoy the brief time we have on this bitch of an earth is cringey will be blocked ^_^ <3
[ID: A list entitled, "how many have you done? fandome edition!!" It reads as follows:
1) Written fanfic
2) Drawn fanart
3) Participated in an event (Big Bang, exchange, etc.)
4) Modded an event
5) Commissioned fanart
6) Commissioned fanfic
7) Stayed up all night reading fanfic
8) Watched an entire TV series in one day
9) Attended a con
10) Bought fandom merch
11) Picked up a new interest/hobby because of fandom
12) Gotten a fandom tattoo
13) Made a fandom inspired playlist
14) Made an edit/AMV
15) Made fandom friends
16) Met fandom friends in person
17) Made a fic rec list
18) Watched a fandom documentary or listened to a podcast
19) Read an entire book in a day
20) Created an OC
End ID.]
Grain actually meant to take the claims down on the shops But Impulse was like… yknow what yeah I’ll take down the king LOL
