my dad had surgery today so he is kind of high off his pain meds and he keeps telling me “get me a ham sandwich” and i’m like “no dad we don’t eat ham.. we’re jews’ he goes “ham… ham sandwich please” “dad no no, no ham..” 

now he’s just reading from the dessert menu and my mom is telling him “your doctor said no sugar or anything too heavy…” and he’s going “this is so unfair! this is so unfair to me!”

what did they do

Had a dream that there was a new Pokemon that was ghost type and it was like. Half a greyhound. It was a spectral dog that was known as one of the fastest Pokemon. And yet it only had it front legs. There were wispy floating stubs on its back half which sort of implied there COULD be legs, but they never reached even close to the ground. It stood on its front legs as if the back legs were still there.

I don’t know what this Pokemon’s name was but its appeared in many of my dreams so either they made it real and I forgot or I’m being haunted by a Fakemon.

I have been informed it is not a real Pokemon so I’ll share another detail I recall seeing about it more than once.

One of its main features about it is that it could run stupidly fast, like, a solid 100 MPH (at least thats my best guess from a dream) but more impressively or eerily is that it could go from 100 to 0 almost immediately, stopping in a stance where it stood up straight and at attention

I think I love this weird dream dog

I assume this is for artists so sure thing

I imagine that this dog is very tall and sleek (like a good five feet tall), with a sickly pale (with just a hint of light blue hue). Its eyes are a pure empty (yet still piercing somehow) white. Along its front half across the back and its legs are pale green sets of stripes, almost like racing stripes.

As for how the ghostly “back legs” worked, they looked sort of like this

with his physical form slowly transitioning into an pale blue ectoplasm, and there were amorphous hints of what could have possibly once been legs. Despite completely missing his back half, the posture seen here is still its regular posture, standing straight up, as if a soldier at attention.

Hope this helps!

Hehe i really like this concept

@legalarson

SO TRUE BOOZOI

HE RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL!!!

Ｉ ｄｉｄ ｎＡＵＧＨＴｔ！ Ｍｉｓｔｅｒ Ｅｌｅｃｔｉｃ ｓｅｎｄ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ   ｐｒｉｎｃｉｐａｌ＇ｓ ｏｆｆｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｈａｖｅ ｈｉｍ ＥＸｐｅｌＬｅｄ！

The line delivery, the acting, the fact that I can hear this without sound, the way they’re treating it as though this is a murder trial, and Mr. Electric’s reaction to this are part of what makes this scene hilarious

shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay

I always assume the train will be so boring and I bring seven things to do but then I'm entranced by the wonderful window the entire time

gonna start advocating for more stray eyebrow hairs on fictional characters. if a character’s got thick brows and no tweezers and is also living in the wilderness/post apocalypse/etc. they are gonna have some hairs

Framing this tag on the wall across my bed so I can be invigorated and inspired every morning

A reminder that bats are superior to swords for their inherent potential for inflicted pain

Nothing rivals a sword in homoeroticism, but for just raw pain, bone breaking, blocking, and parrying, bats reign supreme

it took me a full minute to realize that you weren’t advocating using a flying rodent to inflict pain

btw a lot of harry styles looks hes been praised for being gnc are like. direct copies of juan gabriel's suits

like. Juanga was mocked all his life because he was a fat openly gay man who dressed and acted flamboyantly but now everyone's praising Harry because he's conventionally attractive, white & straight

Mary Sue but a compliment

This girl is powerful and loved by everyone. And why shouldn't she. She should be allowed to have fun and be super overpowered

Example: Barbie

no more citing sources using MLA or chicago style or any of those modern citation styles. from now on i will only be using the alexandrian footnote and citing my sources by saying "it is said..." and then claiming whatever the hell i want

i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter

This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.

so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh

World Heritage Post

torch like in of minecraft

i love this its like ive stumbled into a creative writing course

"just put yourself out there" what if I scared. what then.