it me nora the capricorna on Tumblr

Keep moving J002E3, this is Earth’s turf.

We really do owe the Moon a lot. I mean, she's HUGE compared to the sorts of moons a planet like ours usually gets. A planet our size can usually expect a couple of decent asteroid captures, but nothing like her. And because she's so big, 1/4 of our mass, her gravity deflects so much space crap from coming near us. She's like a big, burly knight with a big shield. I like her.

galwednesday

Mentally combining the "bees are unionized and will leave if they don't like their working conditions" post with the various "humans stow away on alien spaceships and do the jobs that are too dangerous for more fragile species" posts

galwednesday

Interstellar guidelines state that while approaching humans carelessly or aggressively can result in serious injury, and while you absolutely should not try to trap a swarm of humans on your ship, if you build a human-friendly habitat with enough food within grazing distance and safe places to sleep, you just might entice a colony to move in

sharktoothjack

Trapping a swarm of humans on your ship:

unauthorized tunnels keep popping up in restricted zones
theft of various items they consider cozy, delicious, cute, or extremely hazardous
equipment sabotaged in supposedly impossible ways, and/or supposedly explosion-proofed material exploding
received communications vary from heartfelt pleas for freedom to vengeful declarations of war to treatises on the sacred rights of spaceship-occupants to disturbingly specific threats to incomprehensible slam poetry

Encouraging a volunteer human colony to thrive:

leaving items they like + building materials in areas they can access, then coming back later to find those areas transformed into fully organized warehouses/gardens/workshops
items left lying around spontaneously being made cuter, cozier, tastier, and/or more hazardous
new workarounds, temp fixes, or repurposes being tried out on any equipment that's on the fritz (and some that's not)
disturbingly creative and fervent allies against outside forces
sound of happy poetry coming from the vents

thesaltofcarthage

this post combines two of my favorite things and I am ASCENDING

the-haiku-bot

this post combines two

of my favorite things and

I am ASCENDING

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

elfwreck

Warning that humans are a symbiotic species, strongly prone to all three types of symbiosis: mutualism, commensalism, and parasitism. To encourage a mutualistic symbiosis, follow recommended guidelines for available space, accessible materials, and living conditions.

Humans will not restrict their symbiotic relationships to the dominant sentient species on a starship. It is highly recommended that, if you have discovered a nesting colony of humans on your ship or starbase, you provide them with the recommended resources. Otherwise, they may wind up in a symbiotic relationship with various predator species. Or your AI bots. Or carnivorous fungi.

Don't ask. Just make sure they've got the kind of supplies that will let them be comfortable.

headspace-hotel

HUMANS ARE SPACE BEES

marcitlali

the police to my mom: ma'am your daughter was driving 110 mph eating hot cheetos with one hand and texting in an imessage group chat titled “boy pussy” with the other and crashed into the back wall of dd’s discounts and died instantly but somehow her body made its way to the accessories section and we found 35 dollars worth of stolen hoop earrings in her purse