Rambling and Pie

@ramblingandpie / ramblingandpie.tumblr.com

I like to ramble. Sometimes, I ramble about pie. And now, descriptive words and phrases: short; queer; Crohnie and arthritis-ie and spoonie; frequently cold; eats food; air breather; married to Unforth; white cis-lady; law student; allergic to everything except for fancy golfcourse grass; likes pretty dresses.https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramblingandpie

Harvey Guillén photographed by Kelsey Hale for the HCA Awards 2022. Hair by Connie Agawin, makeup by Danni Katz.

I need this outfit

[ID: Harvey Guillén stands on the bottom step of a marble staircase, leaning on an ornately-carved wooden banister. His hair is slicked to the side and he is looking off camera, with an expression that is somewhat wistful and possibly coquettish. He is wearing black pants and a sheer shirt over a black tank top. The sheer shirt has a golden angular/geometric art deco pattern that is very sparkly. The look is topped off with a black scarf (silk?) tied in a pussy bow.]

In light of the recent incel post, If I could give these young men any piece of advice, it would be to take a cooking class.

Being able to cook a delicious meal is one of the most genuinely attractive skills a person can have. It's inherently empathetic, demonstrates dexterity and technical knowledge, and gives you an excuse to do an activity with someone else.

Plus learning to cook is a skill that can go a LONG way to building self confidence and self love. It's a skill where failure is cheap and often easy to correct and success only makes you better. People who need more structure can follow recipes, but there is always room for experimentation.

Most of all though, cooking for someone is a gesture of many different kinds of love. Theres no better way to make new friends than showing up somewhere with a box of fresh made brownies, or a loaf of fresh bread. It's a good way to skip over the annoying parts of meeting someone, and get right to the good stuff.

Do you have any advice for femcels? I consider myself one because men keep feigning interest in me all as a funny prank. And people keep pretending to be my friend for the same reason.

It's like I literally exist only for people to make fun of

Self hatred is never just one thing, it's always a cycle.

"i can't find a partner" > "I feel disgusted with myself" > "self love feels hollow" > "self hatred makes people not want to spend time with me" > "I can't find a partner"

It's a cycle that just makes a person angrier and weirder and easier to radicalize.

The important part about cooking in the above example is less about the fact that people find it attractive, and more that it's something that can build confidence, it's something a person can be proud of. My advice would be to find some hobby that you're proud of, be it cooking, woodworking, visual art, etc, and maybe take a class. It can be a good way to make friends in a controlled setting, or at least practice social interaction with people who aren't going to be immediately hostile.

And it takes time, try not to be too hard on yourself.

Also, reaching out to "ex-femcel" communities can be a lifesaver. Having a community of people who know your experience and got out is one of the most powerful resources available.

Another thing that I have found to be powerfully enriching: learning to grow and identify plants, in particular plants that are native to your area.

For one thing, being able to point to a plant and say "Hey, that's [plant], it's the host plant for this cool moth..." means you have knowledge that like 1% of the people around you actually have, but that practically everyone is interested in and will remember. This is knowledge that is hard to obtain via reading and googling and very easy to gain through experience, so it's ridiculously easy to teach other people once you know how to identify a plant in front of you.

It also gives you a real sense of being part of the world around you. You start to get excited when you see plants you're familiar with. They're like friends. It's SO rewarding to see your plantings flourish and attract insects and birds and butterflies.

I've written about it but it's really helped me break through my feelings of despair and hopelessness. "In a year...in five years...in ten years..." you can picture the tree you planted, and understand that there is a real future for you

And not only does growing plants connect you to a real future that you can help build, cultivating tough native trees and wildflowers is so, so much easier than growing almost anything else.

The concept of houseplants being the easiest level of Growing Plants is bullshit. I have absolutely zero intuitive sense of the type of conditions my tropical houseplant WANTS to be in. I don't know how my bathroom compares to a jungle, and I don't know what that jungle Is Like.

But when I'm growing a plant that I can see growing wild around me in a container on my porch, I just Know things about this plant's preferred conditions. "Wow, it's unusually hot and dry right now. Maybe my plant would like to be moved to a little shade and to have some water?" If its 96 degrees out and hasn't rained a drop in two weeks, I know that the plant is probably turning yellow because it doesn't have enough water, not because it has too much. Because, ya know, I Live Here Too

A lot of valuable native species are basically weeds. They'll grow given the barest chance.

It's also the same as cooking in that giving a neighbor a plant is a great connection-building gesture, in particular with retired old people that are probably desperately lonely and may have a lot to teach you

I've learned a ton from starting a volunteer job at a nature center close by and I've met a lot of cool people. Plant identification apps are a good place to start and they're not always accurate but they give you something to google.

I would add that doing classes where there is zero expectation of ~meeting people~ in a romantic way is helpful. When I was at a point in my life where I was bemoaning being single and it felt like it would be forever, and I kept getting false hope... being in a group (ironically, a queer group at church, which had two couples and a couple guys from older generations) where there was ZERO chance of anything romantic cropping up? Was actually really good? Because I was able to have social interactions without the stress of like... when I went to parties with people my own age and having to fret about if people *liked me* (as friends or as a potential romantic partner!).

So. Highly recommend a class, not as a way to meet someone for romance, but specifically as a place to meet people with no romance concerns.

Writing is not about 'telling an epic story' or 'making something that will outlive you'. Writing is about going "You know what would be fucking awesome?" and then committing word crimes


This. ...ALL THE TIME. :)

where's the tweet thats like high value art heists should be legal and should be like a national pass time between countries like capture the flag. thats my platform

like i'd stay in museum security as a job just for that like to be on the defending team against some other country's art heist team. could be like eurovision but more fun. no bloodshed allowed no weapons u gotta use ur hands only. we should also be allowed to trade players between nations


ninety-six countries immediately descend on the british museum to get their stuff back


I think everyone should have to like, get curating training (or just use curators) and if you try to grab an art piece in a damaging way the whistle gets blown and your whole team has to sit in the shame box

I wanna do one of those “if you’re lgbt put your orientation, sign and favorite tool in the tags” but I know most of The Gays have never touched a tool on their life. I’ll be left with 15 lesbians, one gay dude and a handful of bisexuals and they better all be tagging screwdrivers


Eh. Doing it anyway.

If you’re lgbt put your orientation, sign and favorite tool in the tags”

This time of year is always very nostalgic for me bc I used to be the Token Gentile at an office and every few months there'd be a Jewish holiday and my friend would be like "Hey, I need you to do Gentile things for us" and I'd be like hell yes dude. Gentile Things often meant I'd sign things in exchange for a few dollars on venmo but Pesach was a special time for me because it meant everyone gave me boxes of pasta, cereal, and other baked goods. The first time my friends were like "Hey for reasons we won't bother getting into we're going to give you all of our bread" I was like, it is a powerful responsibility but as an Ally I cannot refuse. Best time of the year, frankly


Reminds me of the year I spent in a house with a Muslim housemate, and he ate nothing during the day throughout Ramadan - then of course he would be hungry af and buy a fuckload of food as soon as he got off work in the evening. Around midnight, he’d realize he just couldn’t eat everything he’d bought on his own, and come knock at my door to ask if I felt like having dinner again.

I always felt like having dinner again. 

I misread that as ‘Tolkien Gentile’ and felt let-down by the post.

On the contrary, it feels very Tolkien for people with unfamiliar customs to show up and give you a bunch of their food with barely an explanation. Like a reverse of the opening of The Hobbit where the dwarves show up and eat all Bilbo's seed cake, or something.

Shabbes Goy, son of Glóin



people who use the queue function fill a necessary role in the tumblr ecosystem. they keep posts alive. if u miss a post bc ur entire mutualcule was reblogging it from each other in a 30min span and u were offline, the queue mutual provides u an opportunity to see that post again in 1-8 business days. they put posts in stasis in little cryogenic freezers for u to discover and enjoy later. everyone thank their queue mutuals right now

cringe isnt an insult. if you find me cringe that means i have power over you. im having a fucking blast while youre seething with vitriol at my very existence. whos really winning here

It always makes me feel old when singers from bands who were popular when I was in high school are doing the theme songs for cartoons that my kids like? And idk why it makes me feel old but it does.

This post brought to you by Spidey And His Amazing Friends, and "Is that Pete Wentz?" *to the Googles* "... no it's Patrick Stumph. He's... he's the not-Pete-Wentz singer in Fall Out Boy."

WELL I think every long-term motorized-wheelchair user has a "the day I forgot to charge my legs" story and uuuuuuh many thanks to @unforth for pushing my scooter, in neutral, through Epcot while I leaned on the stroller. And for getting me ibuprofen when we got back to the hotel room.

And to the kids who handled it like champs. Even if H melted a few times, she was pretty ok, all things considered.

One thing considered: we had enormous desserts the size of our heads for lunch.

sorry dude can’t hang out I’m making up scenarios in my head. sorry no it’s gonna take up all my time.


I like Marie Kondo because I’m so used to all the rhetoric around “decluttering” or “tidying up” being about how it’s somehow immoral to own things and that we need to burn our possessions and all live in sterile minimalist Hell in a plain white apartment with a deck chair and one potted plant.

So I like hearing the tidy lady tell me that yes I should live in a hovel with a bunch of linguistics books and dragon statues and here are some ways to keep the hovel clean and orderly while I lurk in it.

It’s so refreshing.


All the other home decor people:  “Kitschy nerd shit is a waste of space and you’re gonna get your soul devoured by a chaos dragon or some shit if you don’t get rid of all of it right now.”

Marie Kondo:  “See, if you organize the kitchen in this way, you can display these Khorn Berzerker miniatures far more prominently.”

The idea that you should model your life after what brings YOU joy, rather than what society/people think should bring you joy, is an act of rebellion.

“Does this spark joy?” is unironically a life-changing sentiment for me.


Tumblr should introduce "you have been blocked!" notifications. It would cause nothing but problems but at least it would be funny.


The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard it before

The moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal: fresh! sexy! I’m going to be thinking about this for months!


Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it can’t be illegal on the moon

Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.

He was the officiator

This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.

Oh my god they were moon mates.


feelings r like boogie boards. u can try and push em down under the surface but they will always and very instantly come right back up and slam u in the face. i think aristotle said that

"Fakers" aren't the reason resources are so hard to access btw it's because the people in charge don't want them to be accessed in the first place