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Frecklebaby, don't be sad

@phrenotobe / phrenotobe.tumblr.com

30+ Masc Butch
they/them
I have a queue, so I won't always be around when I post. I track #Owlgriffin if you want me to see something.
[ AO3 ]

jonathan: [rushing into train station, shouting for a ticket, exhibiting a ‘violent demeanour’]

station master:

i love unhinged women but i also love women who try so fucking hard to be hinged. clinging to those hinges by her fingernails.

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“I’m afraid it’s over, doctor. We’ve seen through your sinister plot.”

“It’s not a plot, you uneducated fool – it’s a scheme.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“A plot is defined by political intrigue as a central feature, whereas a scheme is defined by its complexity. You can have a straightforward plot or an apolitical scheme, but not vice versa. This is a scheme.“

“I thought if it was complex it’s a machination.”

“No, it’s a machination if it’s artful. I’ve never much cared for artfulness; for example, this conversation isn’t artful at all, yet it’s kept you occupied long enough for the next phase of my scheme to come into play – just as I’d planned!”

“Your scheme depended on me not knowing what a scheme is?”

“Wheels within wheels, old friend.”

Do you ever fear that you’ll run out of ideas one day?

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You’re asking me whether I’m concerned that the English language will one day run out of things to be pedantic about.

*about which to be pedantic

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The “rule” that an English sentence may not end in a preposition was invented by uptight grammarians in the 17th Century out of a misguided belief that English syntax ought to more closely resemble that of Latin. In reality, preposition stranding is a common feature of the Germanic language family, and its putative prohibition in standard English is both anomalous and ahistorical.

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i think the reason i like tumblr so much is that it really emulates a piece of what the old web is like. a lot of people are mobile users now, but if you take advantage of desktop, you can have your own unique theme, make a bunch of cool pages for people to explore. tags let you explore other ppls art, depending on how long they’ve been posting, you can see how their art has evolved.

you really dont get that on twitter or other websites without having to scroll through a bunch of tweets to find a users art. once its posted, its basically dead because other tweets are flooding in.

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user customization is non existent on those sites, you are forced to use the same layout as everyone else. constantly being advertised to if youre using their mobile apps.

web 2 is joyless. you’ve been turned into a product. too much focus on likes & views. you’re perfectly fine with companies stealing your personal info & make money off of you for the sake of convenience. web3 is being envisioned by the biggest assholes on earth.

“The indie web, it’s these thousands of websites delivering millions of pages, built up with passion, opinions and information by Net users assuming their rights as citizens. The indie web is a new type of link between people, it’s a free and open space of shared knowledge where vanity has no place. ” - the indie web manifesto, 1997

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here are some guides to get you started on making your own website. it really isn’t too hard if you’ve messed with tumblr themes in the past. i’d say its simpler since you dont have to deal with tumblr’s backend stuff & different post types.

https://learn.sadgrl.online/sitemap/ - great tutorials on html & css, plus neocities specific tutorials

https://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp - has a css section too, easy to follow & understand

google - chances are someone has had the same issue as you, and has had their question answered on stackflow already

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everyone should make their own website and just post whatever on it. anything you would post on tumblr that you find or experience, post there. please contribute to re-wilding the internet

i recently just made a website to host my comic and i am now just putting music reviews there. the experience has been incredibly freeing and creatively fulfilling to essentially nest into a corner of the internet that i have control over. highly recommend.

neocities is great and i highly recommend everyone make a website!! if you like graphics-heavy stuff like me, you’ll probably have a hard time finding assets. this was a huge hurdle for me to overcome when i started making my site, so hopefully these will help someone else get started!

https://gifcities.org/ - old web gifs! https://www.mazeguy.net/smilies.html - LOTS of pixel smilies! http://www.freebackgrounds.com/ - tiling backgrounds! https://archive.org/details/cursormania - cursors! https://de.flamingtext.com/Logo/Design-3D-Text - 3d text generator! https://wave.webaim.org/ - tool that tells you how accessible your site is and what to fix!

i would also recommend using an external IDE when making your site rather than the built-in neocities one. i personally use brackets, but there’s plenty out there that’ll do the job! also, don’t forget that you can get crazy with web design, it doesn’t have to fit into the rigid structure of most sites when you’re on neocities. lots of people on there make sites that look more like physical spaces or games than websites! here’s a few of my favorites:

https://seraphsanctum.neocities.org/ https://tangotrail.neocities.org/ https://000010.neocities.org/ https://irony-machine.neocities.org/ https://uncannyvalley.neocities.org/ (not very un-website-y at first, but the webmaster hosts a LOT of different stuff here, interactive html/js included, so i thought i’d include it)

Hey yall, I wanted to make a PSA about this because it'll be useful to many of you in the United States. You might qualify for public assistance now, specifically because of rising food prices.

The federal poverty line, the biggest determining factor for public assistance, has been kept artificially low for decades because it was based on the outdated assumption that food was the primary expense for most American households. For decades now, shelter has been the larger expense, but the federal poverty limit has still been determined based on the prices of food commodities.

Because food prices have recently gone up, the federal poverty line has gone up significantly as well. This means if you were previously slightly over the income limit to qualify for public assistance such as food stamps or medicaid, you likely qualify now. I'd like to encourage everyone who thinks they might qualify to apply for these programs. The qualification cutoffs are still absurdly low, so please be assured that if you qualify for assistance, you're not taking something you don't need or deserve.

Please reblog this if you think your followers will find it useful. I haven't seen anyone talking about this, it's just something I noticed recently, so I want the info to become more public to help people who might be struggling.

grabbing nosleep authors by the shoulders and shaking them. schizophrenia isnt a serial killer disease you can write a story about a murderer without doing the psychosis makes you bad and dangerous shtick slapping the stigmatised mental illness label onto your murder man and making that the reason for their violence does not make your writing look deep or realistic it just makes you look like a cunt. end transmission

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When one thinks about "ancient" Native American civilizations and ruins... the thing is that... most of them, they weren't ancient. The Inca were not fully conquered by the Spanish until 1572... for reference, the Mona Lisa was painted in 1502 and Martin Luther made the 95 Theses in 1517.. the "ancient" Aztec Empire was younger than the university of Oxford founded in the 11th century, Montezuma lived at the same time than Leonardo Da Vinci... There are castles that are younger than Machu Picchu, those cities were inhabited by millions just a few centuries ago, and some (Cuzco, México), many actually, are still inhabited today. People speak about the Ancient Maya as if it was some mysterious civilization that was lost, and while it was past its prime at the time of European conquest, the Maya still had city-states and were living in the same areas they live today.

There are still millions of people, right now, who speak Quechua, Nahuatl, and Maya in all their dialects, and I'm just talking about the three most well-known civilizations here... there are millions of Native Americans who still speak their languages and practice their culture and beliefs alive, both thriving and struggling today.

Talking about the "Ancient Inca" or "Ancient Aztecs" makes as much sense as talking about the "Ancient Dutch" or the "Ancient Swedes", and it's another way of erasing them, saying that they just aren't around anymore just like say the Sumerians, or that they just weren't relevant to world history. They were contemporaries to modernity and they're still alive today.

You can talk about the Ancient Olmecs or Ancient Chavín though. Because the Inca and the Aztecs are relatively "modern" but their cultures were just the latest from a cycle of civilizations stretching millenia before Christ.

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Almost every ex-Catholic I know, myself included, still has at least one saint they like enough to keep around in some form. The number of ex-Catholics still burying St. Anthony in the back yard is not insignificant.

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Listen I may not want anything to do with the Church or Jesus or all that, but the saint-powered folk magic taught to me by older women in my family? I'll keep that part, that part is rad. Especially since priests usually don't want you doing it.

I'm curious but I'm Jewish so I have no idea what you're talking about. Saint-powered folk magic?

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God, okay, so Catholicism has a TON of little practices that totally qualify as folk magic, often practiced by women, but almost no Catholic granny will actually call it that. Growing up I learned all sorts of """prayers""" that are basically just magical spells. They can vary from country to country, depending on what other cultural influences are being blended with the Catholicism.

For example, burying a statue of St. Joseph (not Anthony; I got my saints mixed up) to help sell a house. It's also common to make offerings to statues of St. Anthony to help you find things that you've lost. Old Catholic ladies praying the rosary to enact specific wishes, things like that. God and Jesus never really enter into it--you're basically doing fancy rituals to ask the saints to make things happen and intercede on your behalf with God.

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And, of course, how could I forget relics? "Let me pray and make offerings to this piece of bone taken from a dead saint, so their spirit in Heaven will entreat God to help me with my problems."

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[ID: screenshotted tags from stargazing-enby that read, "#I never heard of these#But I did hear that if you want good weather you bring eggs to St Claire#catholicism." End ID.]

[ID: screenshotted comment from fabledshadow that reads, "I carry a St. Christopher medal with me, and I’ve never been seriously injured while traveling. Going to go ahead and hang on to that one lol it makes me feel better anyway." End ID.]

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Also, no one loves candle magic quite like the Catholics. "Light this specific candle in this specific manner while saying these specific prayers" was, like, an entire THING when I was growing up. Candles for the dead, shelves full of offering candles that are never allowed to be blown out (only to burn out naturally), keeping candles lit to represent the presence of Jesus and Mary, baptism candles, advent candles, candles on a buche de noel, on it goes.

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This is what scared the shit out of my older Christian relatives. I never met a single Catholic growing up but I heard about some of this stuff from fanatical protestant aunts and uncles, who were taught by their churches that Catholicism is "occult." There's a ton of Christians who think Catholics are in fact Satanic witches.

If you have a big, emotional, self hating meltdown every time someone tells you that you hurt them or crossed a boundary of theirs, then that means you're not a safe person to say no to - and that's something you need to work on. Even if you're genuinely just really upset that you hurt someone, if every attempt at communicating a boundary to you results in the person you hurt having to repeatedly reassure you that you're not actually a bad person, then you need to work on controlling yourself and taking constructive criticism.

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i think it's helpful to work on redirecting that shame into gratefulness.

someone telling you no or that you've hurt them is a gift. it is a very brave thing to say, and it helps you know what you need to do to fix things or prevent future harm.

even if you can't stop having a breakdown, first stating really clearly that you recognize how vulnerable and generous the other person is being, thanking them for telling you, asking what they need right now.

if you can delay the breakdown long enough, you can have it with a friend or a journal or a therapist.

i think people get into this cycle where all of their tough conversations turn out badly and then it's much easier to panic when the next tough conversation starts.

but when you break that cycle, you'll find out that (while they're still tough) these conversations can actually make your relationships feel stronger at the end. they can make you feel more confident that you know what to do. they can build trust.

it takes a lot of learning and practice to get that way, but dealing with this stuff is probably the best first step towards getting there.

I want to emphasize here: you're allowed to feel these emotions. Being upset is not a bad thing -- it means you really care about this! Plus, you can't stop a breakdown by beating yourself up about having a breakdown.

What's important here is: the person who was brave enough to be upfront about this? Should not be the person helping you through the breakdown.

I usually just thank them and get outta there. If you have questions or need to talk details, you can come back to it once you've calmed down and organized your thoughts.

To add on to this: if you really can’t delay the breakdown, like they’ve barely finished their piece and you’re fighting back tears or about to snap back with anger you know is not real, don’t try and rush a conclusion. Excuse yourself and give a concrete time to continue the discussion.

“I’m sorry, I need to collect myself - can we continue this in 10 minutes?”

And go to the bathroom or something, cry if you need to, take deep breathes, splash your face with some water. And when you return, once you have gathered yourself, then channel that gratefulness. Make it very clear that you appreciate their honesty and patience, and address the concerns.

One of my favorite responses in my Social Interaction Toolkit is:

"Why do you ask?"

Allistic people tend to ask one question when they actually mean something quite different (this is one of many ways in which allistic people are strange and exotic). So when I don't want to hazard guessing, my default response is to cheerfully respond to ambiguous questions with "Why do you ask?"

Usually if I do it casually, no one notices I didn't answer the original question, and instead moves on to their Actual Question. (Also works if you just prefer to give noncommittal answers.) Very very basic example but:

Person: "Are you busy/what are you doing this weekend?"
You (too tired to guess-and-then-calculate-an-emotional-slash-external-response based on if this is a prelude to a social invitation, an acquaintance asking for a favor, a coworker asking to trade shifts, boss wanting you to work overtime, etc): *vague but friendly smile* Why do you ask?
Person: Well I wanted to know if....

Very useful shortcut/cheatcode

to be clear while this is direct and effective activism that will have a positive impact on the world it is illegal and so you should be on the look out for anybody attempting to do this by bringing postcrete cement and water to a golf course where they plan to pour water into the hole till it's 1/3 full of water, then add the postcrete to the hole till they can see a layer of powder on top of the water, and finish by covering it over with a layer of dirt (postcrete does not require mixing).

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Nice