aaaagh it’s been five hours since the episode ended and i should really be asleep but i’m still up thinking about how horribly painful fearne and orym’s deaths were because !! they literally spent that entire battle watching their friends die around them. FUCK.
orym, our ever-watchful soldier, our protective little fighter who has spent every moment since he lost his family keeping both eyes open in steady vigilance–always the first to step in front of his friends, always on the lookout for any threat, always careful, always determined, always on task. liam said that orym died with a heavy sense of failure, and god, i can’t imagine the magnitude of that feeling. he died failing to keep his friends safe from the threat he was sent to eliminate. he died without completing the mission he swore to see through for his leader, for dad, for will. he couldn’t even get the word out to dorian in the end, couldn’t give him the closure of final words, of one last assurance of love. he died by the sword of the enemy he hadn’t even known until it was too late.
fearne, oh fearne, who still had so much left to live for. fearne, who loved so fiercely in her own way that once she bonded with someone she considered them hers. fearne, watching those people she’d collected like precious treasures scattered far from her reach and dropping like flies. fearne, who once cried “but i don’t know if i want to be without orym,” who had just seen him perish, unable to help. fearne, with so many questions about her past and so much left to explore, who already missed out on a lifetime with her parents, who will never get the chance to find out for herself what a relationship with them could be. fearne, who loved the one who raised her as a best friend and missed the feywild so bad she almost went back with a near stranger, who died without a chance to see her grandma morri and her home one more time.
and do not get me started on laudna (she’s fine, she’s gonna be FINE) going unconscious with the belief that imogen was going to have her life stolen from her one way or another, with the sinking knowledge that she wasn’t able to secure imogen’s happiness–that the one purpose laudna found for herself in this second chance at life would never be fulfilled.
even if this is temporary, i have to believe it was temporary, it was horrific, and they spent their final moments in despair, and i’m not okay
