the police to my mom: ma'am your daughter was driving 110 mph eating hot cheetos with one hand and texting in an imessage group chat titled “boy pussy” with the other and crashed into the back wall of dd’s discounts and died instantly but somehow her body made its way to the accessories section and we found 35 dollars worth of stolen hoop earrings in her purse
nothing I or anyone else can add can make it funnier that some movie production company announced a movie named ‘They/Them’ on twitter like it’s a mcu movie
I’m very concerned considering this company makes horror movies (that can be really hit or miss sometimes) so I’m worried about where they’re going with this.......
it’s a slasher movie... they slash them
Anonymous asked:
Hey, a while ago I called you fat. I just wanted to apologize. I’ve recently gained a lot of weight and now I’m fat, too. Definitely wouldn’t appreciate it if someone called me fat.
Fat bitch
Officially licensed 2018 blue raspberry candy in a Bullet Bill-shaped tin.
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Munching Da Mario Amphetamines
True freedom.
Very true but why does this jpeg look like the fever dream of a dying man
my parents trying to get ahold of me in 1998
Anonymous asked:
What do you think of Steven Universe?
come back with a warrant
You’re telling me that some tradcaths on Tumblr are trying to fundraise through Tips in order to spam everyone with Sponsored posts telling them to convert? No way, why would hardcore Catholics take the opportunity presented by new market activity to create a financial hierarchy aimed at dominating the public sphere? Totally unheard of. You really think that people modeling their behavior on the Catholic Church would do that, just go around fleecing money out of people in order to consolidate their power?
i think we're ALL disney's first openly gay character
I’m not Disney’s anything
me checking the bottoms of very expensive ceramic plant pots for drainage
Sigourney Weaver to a bunch of children in the desert
Tops at an orgy
He asked me when I fell in love with him and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw him, so I told him this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire