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Further Meanderings of Merinda

@merindab / merindab.tumblr.com

Hi, I'm Merinda, Janto321 on AO3
40, She/her
I have a complete Table of Contents of all of my fanfiction work.
I've got Inattentive ADHD and Depression and happily talk about them.
My current primary fandoms are BBC Sherlock, Doctor Who and Good Omens .
But sometimes I just reblog cats.
If you'd like to support my writing:
I have a Patreon
Fic Commissions are currently open
Diana Wallpaper by YaleStewart
loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

I know many of you out there are feeling a bit down. Have a crow to Wouldn’t it be Nice by the Beach Boys to lift your mood.

He stops and looks both ways?!?

You wanna know what makes this better?

Crows normally walk. This one seems to have both legs working, so he’s not hopping out of necessity, he’s doing it for fun. Corvids can sometimes be seen doing things like this for no evident reason other than enjoyment.

This is my new favorite post

I can’t ever not reblog.

Have some happy crow vibes

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Always reblog. 😏

Tonight, on “how many ways can you experience catharsis through someone else’s D&D campaign”:

“You can hold all the knowledge in the world, but if it dies with you, it doesn’t matter.”

“Do I know that he’s gone?”

“Yes.”

“My eye is on you.”

“Don’t touch me”

“I’ve waited so long to do only that”

“No no no no no no no.”

“There is a place among the stars where only your heart can reach, and I’ve known it since I met you.”

“What follows the age of arcanum eventually must be the age of salvation.”

“A love as profound as any that have been on Exandria surrounds you.”

“There is no god that strides this world that I worship more than I worship your heart.”

“I vow this: I bear your name. I bear it on this stone. And one day I will bring you home.”

Revivify and pure ether.

“Hope that you are forgotten.”

“Are your children safe?”

“They are. I hope it was worth the risk.”

“I just cut you off and kiss you.”

“In the kiss, I cast cure wounds on you.”

“I forgive you for anything you think you’ve done, and so does Evandrin.”

“I push the locket into your hand and run away.”

“I cast teleport to Maya, to Cerrit’s children.”

“I think it will be easier for us both to forget, don’t you?”

“And somewhere in the world, someone is holding the work of your life.”

“It’s all on you, smart girl.”

“We’ll all find our way to where we’re going next.”

“Damn the ring of gold, the people of Avalir must survive!”

“The material goods mean nothing anymore, only life. That is what we serve.”

“Avalir comes before any oath I made in a past life.”

“You choose ruin and the world. You choose to cast aside the gift of your court and the right of your kin and all those of the realm of your birth, to remain here in the realm you have chosen.”

“I’m sorry, my lady, I love you, but I love another more.”

“I would rather mine break and yours remain whole”

“Remember the architect arcane, Laerryn, the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“I’ve always chosen the city, and I’m going to choose my son.”

“You will always be five years old to me, no matter how much you grow.”

“What you see on the outside doesn’t matter, my son. Just remember what’s here, and you will always see me for who I really am.”

“Y’all decided to be dads, like what the fuck.” (Aabria and Marisha and I were all on the same page with this).

“Will you marry me?”

“This will work, Avalir be damned.”

“I love you, my family.”

Travis’s INCREDIBLE HDYWTDT

“I would like to ready an action so that, should I fall, I drive my blade into my best friend’s heart.”

“As I go down, I make sure I don’t miss.”

Patia’s final wish.

“Do not leave me. You cannot leave me now.”

“Are you the woman who doomed the world, or are you the woman who saved it?“

“What have you done?”

“My best. Finally.”

“There are many things that you do not see but it would be right for you to know.”

“The last thing you see is a griffin made of stars, called back to its feather, bearing on its back a young boy bearing a journal.”

“Elias leaps into the arms of Evandrin, reunited.”

“I will find the secret of how these worlds were made, and I will come and find you.”

“Do you think anyone will talk about how beautiful your dream was?”

“No, but that’s all right. It was real for us.”

“What matters more? The dream, or the dreamer?”

“There are many more dreams to come.”

“New dreams don’t have to tread the paths of the old.”

“Wingspan, I’m here. They’re both here. They’re both here. Tell me you’re coming.”

“Darling, is this goodbye?”

“No. No. Those children are the best thing we ever did. And it’s going to take a lot more than this to keep my from coming back to them, and you.”

“I’ve been able to become anyone I want my whole life. But I just want to be with you.”

“I can’t believe that the thing I almost broke beyond fixing was us.”

“Meeting you and being loved by you is a miracle, so I know they’re real.”

“I’ll move to the door, and look. My children deserve that.”

“That’s a 31.” Cerrit’s miraculous survival

“The brass ring endures. I want you to know, you gave us a chance.”

“I don’t think you hear anything back, you just feel relief.”

“One day, the people of Exandria will triumph, and the calamity will end.”

“At the end of it all, hope will return, as many times as it needs to.”

“And the fire as brightly as it may burn does not burn as brightly as your love.”

“And on a 31, at the very top of that cloud, the last member of the ring of brass gets to keep his promise to his family.”

“You don’t get to give your kids the world that they deserve, but you get to give your kids the world that they can fight for with you.”

“It did happen, and it did matter. And though the calamity is here, because of you, it will not be here forever.”

Truly an incredible collaboration by every member of the EXU: Calamity cast. I spent so much of this episode experience strong emotions. It’s been a while since I cried during a Critical Role episode, but this one definitely got to me.

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I mean it was just SUCH. A PERSPECTIVE SHIFT!!! It was-- UGH.

Like, you're watching episode 1 of Calamity, and you open with "Fire." Just that reminder that THIS IS GOING TO BE A DARK STORY. You know this, this is what you're signing up for! These characters are awful! They're all lying about various stuff! They have these ambitions and secrets and lies that will lead them all to RUIN. And you're watching this story unfold, and it's so tense because you KNOW that the Calamity happens. It's already heartbreaking because it's not so much that you know they *can't* stop it, but because you know they *don't*! It's in the lore! It's in the timeline! The Calamity is a thing that happens! TWO THIRDS of the population dies!!! TWO THIRDS!!!

You spend three episodes wondering how the Ring of Brass will mess everything up so bad that the world gets as bad as it can possibly get. Two thirds of the population! Dead!

And then in that fourth episode, Brennan flips that shit on its head. Because he brings in a worse tragedy. One where EVERYONE dies. No one makes it out of Exandria. Complete and total annihilation. And then gently introduces the idea of... what if you could save some of them?

That last fight had characters with HP in the single digits, no spells left, and it was unwinnable if the goal was to win the fight. But the goal changed and became to just survive long enough. You know they can't all survive this. But you sure as shit can hope that they can last those crucial 18 seconds. Just enough to make the difference between losing everyone, and not losing everyone.

It became a story not of how they lost two thirds of the population, but about how they saved one third. And it was an absolute master class in how to use tragedy to tell a story of hope.

Something interesting about both Launda and Orym's reveals in episode 17 is how both of them seem to have worked hard to convince themselves that their pasts don't affect them as much as they do. Their words around what they feel about it don't really match either of their actions.

Like with Launda, for example, a lot of things about what happened to her clearly still bother her. She wouldn't wear the gold ear cuffs otherwise. And the "the worst thing that's ever happened to me already happened" reasoning seems like something she tells herself a lot. She probably clings to "well, shouldn't be upset about this bad day because at least I wasn't literally murdered!" as a way to get through bad days - and it probably even works a lot of the time! But that would have the effect of not letting her really move on or process new bad things among the good things that happened after because they "don't count" if they're not "that bad."

Laudna even ends their conversation saying she knows Orym understands because he looks like he's had "bad days." And his response is to say "you look ok but..." and hug her. He does get it, and his response was to comfort her even after she said "don't worry about me."

And related, Orym has clearly not made his peace with Will's murder. With his death maybe, because he can tell himself they knew it was possible because of their work, and he went into the relationship eyes open about it. But Orym has barely talked about Will in 6 years and also clearly still struggles to talk about Will with anyone because of how emotional it is for him. And he can both acknowledge how good and happy his memory of Will is and be broken up by the mystery of his murder.

And Chetney noticed that too! He clocked immediately that "this is personal for you" - Orym can repeat that it's his duty all he wants, but he's also very invested in his mission for personal reasons. And the fact that he finds it hard to talk about means it's still very intense for him, and what he wants out of finding the attackers is some closure on why Will was killed.

something about orym being literally the ONLY PERSON IN EXANDRIA who knows the full story of what happened to laudna in whitestone is really getting to me. nobody else in the hells has any clue what happened with the briarwoods, and no one in vm knows about laudna. laudna heard something about vm, knew there was some commotion about finding them, but they were isolated on the edge of town, they didn’t know the extent. laudna doesn’t even know who she was a warning FOR.

that leaves orym, who heard, just on the basis of where he grew up, the horrible things the briarwoods did including the most iconic c1 moment, the sun tree, to be the one with all the pieces. “like a shock of lightning through your mind” is accurate matt, holy shit. orym who has definitely seen the lord and lady of whitestone, whether in person or in an image somewhere, to look at his new friend and have every piece of her he ever questioned just click into place. i can barely get my thoughts into words right now.

something about orym, who’s husband was collateral damage in an attack, finding out his new friend was beaten and strung up by the neck in a tree to be a warning to someone she might will never meet anything goes in c3. and looking at her and seeing her contagious positivity and joy in her spookiness, and then she says to him. she tells him, how could she not be happy? the worst thing that’s ever happened to her has already happened?

and on top of THAT liam knows she has delilah in her head. orym knows that one of the briarwoods talks to her in her head, but she also just brushed that off pretty quickly. so here’s orym, running from his own home and staying away from the place where his husband was killed, who has to reckon with the fact that his sweet, lovely, new friend laudna was not only murdered for nothing, but she has her killer In Her Head. Talking To Her.

you can summarize the entirety of dnd with fearne saying ‘i’ll probably make my rounds through everybody’ to a group that’s comprised of an elderly werewolf, a dead woman, a robot, a man mourning his murdered husband, a woman who went on her first date a week ago, and the person who has ‘fuck off’ on written on their weapon

May I present,

The cast of Critical Role’s reactions to that moment in C3 E17:

And then we had Marisha and Matt, knowing exactly what they were doing: