by PSDgai

Under socialism buses won't have ads on them but they will each have a name and a unique livery and interior and we will romanticise them like ships

If your son dies in a house fire because you never taught him how to do laundry and he never cleans his lint trap thats on you

He’s employee of the month. Press △to drink

miss ma’am

(ideas are courtesy of tumblrimpact)

[flips over the hanged man card] oh so you’re like.. Hung. lol

all food is "guilt free" to me because i love foods and treats and snacks and drinks forever and ever amen

i’m literally so self aware of when i’m making bad decisions that you’d think it’d be enough to stop me but no, it’s not.

sour candy was the only good song from chromatica

Went to the farmer’s market yesterday. Hadn’t gone out in over a year. Guy selling mushrooms asked how I was doing. I panicked and did an awkward little shimmy dance at him. He wordlessly did it back. Can’t stop thinking about this interaction

y’know when you’ve done smth embarrassing and you just have to sit and hear white noise in your ear while ur brain is trying to process what you just did

a couple days ago a customer at work tried to get hand sanitizer but it shot across the counter and i said “oh no you’re squirting all over your pretty feet” without thinking

the night before i have to wake up early always makes me feel like im on death row or something

For I was buttered and you licked me clean. Stuck in a room and you opened the door. And you may answer Lord when have we seen you buttered and cleaned you? Stuck and opened the door? And the Lord will say inasmuch as you have done it unto Jorts, you have done it unto me