@lazypierrot / lazypierrot.tumblr.com
I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr
11 FUCKING THOUSAND NOTES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHERE ARE YOU ALL COME DATE ME
ok
update: we are dating
update: we are married
update: we knocked up
This is the cutest story on the entirety of Tumblr, I swear to god!!!!!
Update: had a baby together
Update: he’s 1 year old today
Update: he’s 2 today
I feel like most of the worst asks on this site come from people who don't have much experience relating with people in person (which is fine) and rely on learning how relationships should work in theory or via helpful posts about consent and respect etc (which is also fine), but then have grown overly confident with how they think human relationships ought to work and think something suspicious is happening when what someone's experiences don't match up
Hence why "I forced my boyfriend to watch Spy Kids 2" reads less to them like a joke and more about violating consent or something. Because they're unfamiliar with the dynamic of laughing and telling someone something corny is good while they theatrically eyeroll, they end up focusing on the word "forced" instead
Or like, how getting inundated with largely decontextualized posts about fetishization and whatnot leads people to ask questions like "Can lesbians watch movies about gay men" because they don't have the actual experience of talking about movies with gay men who will overwhelmingly be like "Of course? What are you talking about"
And I think it's easier to empathize with this (as long as they're not trying to tell you you've done something wrong) but it is kind of like. An unfortunate online phenomenon. Idk what the solution here is
idea: scene with two characters eagerly stripping each other clearly about to bone, but they keep getting interrupted by finding carefully concealed weapons in each other’s clothing, so they keep just unholstering, revealing and unstrapping increasingly ludicrous amounts of hidden guns and knives as the clothes come off, and it’s lowkey killing the mood a little
Alternatively: it's not killing the mood at all but it's totally making both of them giggle like they're twelve and possibly get lowkey competitive in a subconscious way about who has the most to drop.
The more that I think of it the more I'm seeing the incredible intimacy of letting someone know where you keep your backup knife.
Like my god, the trust involved in letting someone undress you and learn your secrets instead of popping into the bathroom to change where they can't see and hiding all your weapons under the sink
...Oh
second alternative: you go to hide all your weapons under the sink but there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink.
awkward
It’s not that there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink that makes it awkward so much as that there’s so many weapons hidden underneath the sink that they fall out of the cabinet with the unmistakable sound of a knife-alanche, and then the other person comes in like “I can explain!” and you’re just dead-ass standing there with your own armload of weapons like “I can also explain.”
Married version is shoving your hand in your partner’s clothes when you’re out of weapons because you KNOW where their spare is. Or wearing a weapon in a spot you can’t draw from yourself because its now spare storage for your spouse’s weapons.
Every single one of you is a genius
I think Americans need to understand how normal it is in other countries to have extremely limited hours of operation to ensure the sanity and health of workers are kept in tact. We are so accustomed and entitled to demanding people’s time that we forget that they’re… y’know… people
Being in Germany was really humbling because legit the GROCERY STORE would straight up close for almost 3 days because of how holidays would line up and the hours were already limited to literally be from 8-8 because people need to go home and live their own lives
It is very common for places in Spain to straight up shut down for 2-3 hours because people take siestas seriously since it gets hot and people deserve to take a nap
The world is not going to end if you’re inconvenienced by just… coming back later. We’ve been spoiled with immediacy and technology that we forget there was a point in time in human history where a person had to trek 20+ minutes down to the village bakery only to find it closed because of some family emergency and that just meant there would be no bread that day- and that’s okay!!
The discourse surrounding labor is so sad because we should not demand or expect things to be open 24/7 because we were not designed to be constantly moving machines. We need to relearn how to plan better since downtime is a wonderful opportunity to reflect and enjoy the moment. Not everything needs to be done with gusto and fervor. Sometimes it’s fine to pivot and just enjoy the moment for what it is and try again later. Touch more nature. Bask in the sun and rain. Breathe.
this is simply the greatest video i have ever seen
I'm going to reblog this a million times so be it
Reminded of that time the xkcd guy was trying to research what sports equipment would be most effective for destroying enemy drones in flight and he looked up a bunch of stats about pro tennis player accuracy against stationary targets like 40 feet away, and figured that a really high level tennis pro might be able to hit the drone in 5-7 shots if they had the time and even then probably wouldn’t do enough damage to disrupt it more than momentarily.
And then Serena volunteered to test this theory and just, killed it instantly.
i see people saying shit like “she’s the best woman player” nah fam she’s the best one out there
I know basically nothing about tennis but I know that she is a league of her own
the thing about sans is, laid-back depressed guy who loves grease, gross humor, reads car magazines on the job and spends half of his free time in a bar scratching his ass is the PERFECT candidate to be the "straight one" except that by making him 4'9 and giving him a 7ft tall girlbestie toby made him every letter of the LGBTQ+ acronym all at once
the thing about alphys is, depressed nerdy scientist with self esteem issues who's obsessed with anime, has a life sized catgirl action figure and eats nothing but snacks and soda but still lands the hot chick at the end of the story is a character i wouldn't touch with a 10ft pole but toby was like "what if she's a girl actually" and it's one of the biggest #wins for feminism in gaming to this day
i mean, you can go home if you're not having fun
i love cishet dudes who are super casual lgbt allies. like my roommate tries super hard to prove she’s a good ally and still fucks up my pronouns but then her cousin waltzes in like “hey so she said that you were a girl but youre a dude now. that’s pretty tight bro.” and then did not fuck up my pronouns once despite bein shitfaced
told him i was bi and he was like “dude… ive got a friend who’s a Homosexual and his last bf was toxic as fuhk. i can send him your way. i think he needs to get laid”
like i truly appreciate the spirit behind it
The greatest song ever written was conjured by an Italian for a scene in a Western filmed in Spain where a Polish man pretending to be a Mexican bandit does a gay little run through a graveyard for three and a half minutes uninterrupted
You can’t just say that and not show us
I'd love to see it
you know how most of the things humans use as spices are poisonous or repellent to most other mammals? and you know how anything vaguely d&d inspired has dwarves being way more poison resistant than even humans?
dwarf cuisine shouldn’t be bland, it should be unimaginably spicy and potentially harmful or fatal to humans. like green potato and rhubarb leaf salad with a festive garnish of yew berries and deadly nightshade berries, that kind of thing.
Concept: humans think it’s bland cuz rather than memorizing what kills humans it’s safer to just pass on the spices.
Humans casting “protection from poison” before eating dwarven food like those lactose pills you can take to drink milkshakes
i felt like there wasn’t enough polyam trio art memes so i decided to make my own <3 self indulgence be damned
❤️💛💙
( feel free to share and tag me in any of the cute art you make i would love to see!!! 🥺💕)
I love the Redwall series. It's just: "And then Colonel Wollywosh, the fastest rabbit in all the land, committed a real ass war crime."
"Oi no sah, I dunno if oi'll do 'at!" ahouted Snotfuck the rat as he tackled Pogwap the stoat, gouging out both of his eyes with his thumbs and biting off his ears and throwing his corpse into a lake
And then all the animals sat down for a picnic of the most delicious food you've ever heard described in a book.
