milennial culture is sending a horrible post to your friend who is sitting 10 feet away from you in the same room, and waiting 2 seconds before hearing a dismayed “….no!”

I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:

isn’t he beautiful

listen to the SOUND when he bites

and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them

2000 pounds of Good Boy

you get me

I honestly expected like 5 notes, what HAPPENED here

More tags on this ridiculous post:

Wait, thats the 2nd biggest crocodile? Then what does the biggest one look like?

That would be Cassius, a very old Saltwater crocodile who is estimated to be around 114 years old and lives at Marineland Melanesia in Green Island, Australia.  His official measurement is 5.48 meters, which makes him the largest in captivity currently.  Because Utan is only slightly smaller and much younger, (only in his 50s), he will likely break Cassius’ record eventually.  But for now, Cassius holds the title:

He is NOT, however, either the largest crocodile ever captured in Australia OR the largest ever in captivity.

A slightly larger crocodile has been reported (though not yet comfirmed) to have been captured at 5.58 meters.

And while the famous Brutus of the Adelaide River was estimated to be just slightly larger than Cassius at 5.5m, he was driven out of his territory by a younger and even larger crocodile, who as a result has been given the name, The Dominator.  He is estimated to be just over 6m.

This is Brutus, with an appropriate caption:

It is believed that he lost that arm in a fight with a Bull Shark.  

The Bull Shark lost.

THIS is the crocodile who kicked him out.  The Dominator:

And that’s STILL not the biggest.  

The largest living crocodile ever reliably measured was Lolong, who for the 1.5 years between his capture and his death was the largest crocodile ever held in captivity, at a whopping 6.17 meters (20 feet 3 inches) and 1075 kg (2,370 lbs).  He had been feeding on both humans and very large livestock in the Bunawan creek in Agusan del Sur in the Philippines.  It took 100 people all night to drag him to shore during his capture.

And here’s why:

Also, to prevent credit from getting buried on a separate reblog, I have been informed that the above image of the crocodile with the cartoon eyes and halo was made by @rashkah!  (And it is wonderful and I would like to thank him for its existence, because it perfectly captures my feelings about terrifying giant primordial reptiles.)

@theonewhocheeps

Holy fuck

As far as Brutus is concerned I was led to believe that he lost that arm when relatively young.

Since then Brutus developed a habit of hunting and eating Bull Sharks.

Here’s him with a prey.

And if you thought that you’ll be safe if you just stay out of Australia then think again!

Meet Gustave the Nile Croc.

This crocodile became almost legendary for both it’s size and the habit of hunting both livestock AND humans.

So how big is Gustave?

No one is sure. Since he was NEVER captured.

His estimated size is of at least 5,5m  but some give him over 6m.

The terrifying parts are:

1) He is still growing having only about 60 years.

2) Adult crocodiles often perform a gesture of submission to him - something usually done by young crocodiles toward adults - Gustave is just THAT BIG.

3) His sheer size makes it difficult for him to catch agile prey Nile crocs tend to feed on - hence why he developed a habit of hunting either larger prey like Hippopotamus or creatures which are not good at spotting danger in the first place like livestock and humans.

And this is NOT ALL.

Gustave actually has a noticeable scars on his body - he was shot at east 3 times and stabbed with a spear or something similar at one occasion.

He lived to tell the tale - my question is:

What happened to that one dude who attacked Gustave with a spear?

*Crocodile Dundee voice*  Mate, that’s not Gustave:

THIS is Gustave:

And he is the PERFECT CROCODILE.  He is the perfect example of what I mean when I talk about (as I do) how the morphology of extremely large crocodiles adapts to the changing physics of their bite.

This is a typical adult Nile Crocodile:

And THIS is a god among his kind:

This is it, folks.  The Final Form.  THIS is what peak performance looks like.

Crocodiles and physics have an interesting relationship.  Crocodiles have, by a CONSIDERABLE MARGIN, the strongest bite of any animal on Earth.  EVER.  Scaled up estimates (based on Nile and Saltwater crocodiles) give the extinct Deinosuchus an estimated bite force MORE THAN DOUBLE the recently updated Tyrannosaurus bite estimates.  Living crocodiles have bite forces measured in the range of 5000 pounds per square inch, for an individual around 15-16 feet.  It is estimated that modern crocodiles in the range of 18-20 feet would have bit forces around 7-8000 psi or more.

That’s a problem.

Because a crocodile’s skull is only designed to handle so much pressure.  Go beyond that limit and the force of impact when those jaws snap shut could literally shatter their own skulls.

But evolution has spent hundreds of millions of years perfecting crocodiles, so PHYSICS ISN’T GOING TO STOP THEM.  What ends up happening in the skulls of these extremely large crocodiles is they will increase dramatically in mass to compensate for the increased forces.  A crocodile’s skull is almost exclusively solid bone, with only minimal space for nasal passages, a surprisingly advanced brain, and some slightly porous looking framework that helps the bone distribute the force over a larger area.  The effect is by far the most pronounced in Nile crocodiles, which most regularly feed on larger prey and need to make use of all that power.

Compare, 26 inch skull:

vs 29 inch skull:

Both of those are Nile crocodile skulls (or rather, replicas thereof).

And just for fun, here are the skulls of completely different (and very extinct species), Deinosuchus:

and Purussaurus:

The bigger the crocodile (within a given species), the more massive the skull needs to be to compensate for that UNBELIEVABLE bit pressure.  This is one way to see from a distance whether you are looking at a normal sized crocodile:

and a truly extraordinary individual:

One of the things about Gustave that’s so impressive is how healthy his teeth look.  A lot of large crocodiles, in their old age, have very worn down and often missing teeth.  They do replace them many times over a lifetime, but when they get very old this slows down.  Gustave, at least in every picture taken of him, had teeth that were in very good condition.

Even crocodiles much smaller than Gustave’s reported size (probably similar in size to Dominator or Lolong) tend to have smaller or more worn teeth:

than the pinnacle of his kind:

Lolong! It means Gramps or Grandpa, because he’s a relic of an ancient world where crocs more massive than he was walked the earth. His body is on display somewhere right now though I forgot where.

Every time I see this post there’s more crocodiles.  It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

@laurangeblossom

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Commentary.

this is my everything.

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

ehh what the hell

OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……

WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD

yooooo

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!! 

Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGIC 

I need to believe in the heart of the post…

Oh? Well… *reblag*

i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko

I have nothing to lose

my palm was itchin today not riskin it

I always reblog the money posts cause I can’t afford not too lol

It works. I just got $300 for no reason.

Money dog is my friend

Money dog is the shit

I believe in the money dog😀

I believe in the money 🐶

Bless me pls money pup 🙏🐕

Just woke up 🙌🏿

Pplease😭🙏🏽

Doing this again because last time I reblogged this I got $50

can’t not reblog the money dog

The dog is cute but money is cool too

Reblogging again just for the hell of it

*crosses fingers*

y nott

corny teenage sitcom lesbians are valid

no gifs can do this scene justice

ohmygodthisissocute

as someone from the midwest i’m 200% sure i’ve said this before

Guilty

My plan to create a perfectly flat and level Kansas by moving 5,501 cubic miles of earth from west to east. It’s the ideal Kansas. Still some details to work out about rivers, roads, etc. Watch out for the 900-foot cliff bisecting Kansas City.

I...don’t know how I feel about this.  I mean, I live in KS, I cross the state line into MO frequently.  This could be problematic.

Disney Ladies + Science (& “Science”). Thanks to our followers for ideas.

Yes, textile engineer. That’s not a fashion designer in any way.

You’ve obviously not watched the movie. She invented those fabrics to resist flame, turn invisible, resist high amounts of friction, and stretch infinite times, and avoid tear from bombs

she did a tad more than “design” them

(Id go so far as to say “tactical textile engineer”

And since the fabrics have to be comfortable as well, she’s a tactile tactical textile engineer.

And since the uniforms also had to look stylish and not gaudy, she’s a tasteful tactile tactical textile engineer.

And she’s the best at what she does, which makes her a talented tasteful tactile tactical textile engineer.

And given that her designs are influenced by the unfortunate loss of other heroes, I’d say she’s a tragic talented tasteful tactile tactical textile engineer.

What’s your most hated level from any video game? reblog and put it in the tags.

I’ll start: mine’s the shrine of amana from dark souls 2

🎶 “Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there’s only love in the dark…” 🎶

By Chuck The Duck 

Glass pen and glow ink drawing. Via Peter Draws.

FUCKING WHAT

This is some Disney’s Atlantis magic

Seriously what kind of sorcery…

This is the most beautiful damn thing I’ve seen on this website

STFU!

blizzard i sweartogod

cat life

Listen. There’s a tea called ‘Tension Tamer’ and it has every kind of mint in it, including catmint(catnip). Do Not Drink Around Cats. You will get mobbed and they will steal your tea. Even if you only have one cat, neighborhood cats will smell it and break in to steal your tea. I once made the Mistake of having some at my aunt’s house while she was taking care of my cousin’s cats, and between them they had like six and even the abuse-rescued, always-hiding-under-the-bed ginger boy came out to steal my tea.

Tips if a cat tries to mug you for your tea:

@tofukitten I would have to look at the exact ingredients to know if that particular tea is safe, but there actually is tea specifically made for you and your cats! I bought some, and…uh, miscalculated. Instead of drinking it, my cats just tried to rub all over it and dunked it all in the floor.

This person…. fixes butterflies….. 🦋

Amazing

every time you reblog this post, another butterfly flutters for the first time

@berkielynn

bonus:

She said it, not me.

These birds figured out that fires flush their prey out of the brush and into the open and have literally coordinated massive feeding frenzies using strategic burning. 

Nice to see someone acknowledging that. Also I’m pretty sure this makes Australian kites and hawks the most metal of tool-using birds.

THIS IS INCREDIBLE ON SO MANY LEVELS

@my-beautiful-thief

M E R R Y  C H R I S T M A S 

It’s not Christmas unless this giftset has appeared on your dash at least five times.

It’s back 💕

it’s not christmas without wilf on your dash 

Annual Wilf reblog.

Mansplaining protip:

When a man starts explaining a concept you already told him you understand, instead of saying “I know” over and over until you die, try one of these:

SAVAGE

teacher-zone him