looked up my symptoms on webmd and it turns out i have an ancient ancestral curse that has been passed down my bloodline for generations
Shazam, a supposedly magic immortal being of unknown origin: kinda pops off ngl
Batman, a father of 6: (narrows eyes in suspicion) yes…indeed it does..
Batman is actually torn between the “Shazam is younger than he seems” theory and the “Shazam’s a dad” theory.
I might've gone down a fanart loop of old BUN Supernatural episodes while getting hyped for Ghost Files.
Ghost Files is starting up at the end of September on Shane, Ryan, and Steven's channel, Watcher! Y'all should check it out when it's released.
No more zodiac signs. If you were the main character and you finally brutally murdered somebody to show the audience that you are no longer the upstanding young man you were at the beginning and that you had "snapped," what song would be playing in that scene?
feel good inc
Superman: Son of Kal-El #15 - Siege of Gamorra Finale
ICONIC!
altersociety
OMFG THIS IS ME TALKING TO BABIES
Lol, that baby looks like she understands every word he’s saying!
i like Ma & Pa Kent a lot bcos like, their whole thing is that they’re the normalest, nicest human parents in existence, but also, they are the people who found a baby inside a crashed spaceship and just took him home and told no-one.
i also like that the OG backstory was ‘they reported him as a foundling & then adopted him through the normal channels’ which is a reasonably plausible chain of events (it’s not a common thing to happen but like, here’s a case from 2000, so it’s not impossible) but basically every subsequent set of writers seems to have been like ‘no no the Kents did fraud’
#I looked it up and in kanas you need proof of pregnancy to record a home birth #they did so much fraud
hmm i’m also looking this up & it looks like a note from your doctor suffices as proof of pregnancy? so not wildly difficult to fake esp if they were like friends w the town doctor
a complication might be that Clark wouldn’t necessarily be a newborn - it looks like you technically only have 5 days to register a birth in Kansas so if he was visibly older than that they’d have problems? if so they’d potentially have to apply for a delayed birth certificate which requires supporting documentation.
however acceptable supporting documentation includes things like church records & birth notices in newspapers which strike me as, again, not massively difficult to fake if you were in good w certain members of your local community.
#everyone ma & pa’s age or older are in on it #just an entire small town doing massive baby fraud for their good friends
yeah see i like this a lot bcos i think it establishes 2 key aspects of the Kents from the get go:
1) such genuinely nice, trustworthy & well-liked members of the community that they can reach out to their peers for help w something like this and get it without question; and
2) down to lie to the government.
poor southern small town Facebook is like…. 3 beautiful women feuding over the most fucked up looking jobless ne’er-do-well in the county, your friend from high school is having her 3rd baby at age 20 and naming it something horrendous, “this dog showed up in my yard, who’s fucking dog is this?”, “pray for my meemaw she broke her hip drunk last week and now has COVID”, meme about bass fishing (which was pretty funny from a townie), only other gay person in town making a milktoast liberal political post, thirst traps from someone who makes no one feel thirsty, details of a couple’s divorce online for everyone to see, ballpark fight between two moms, “this is on sale at the piggy wiggly so move your ass and go get some!”, “I love driving around in the woods drinking beer”, “it smells like something is burning, is a house on fire somewhere?”
In case it isn’t clear from the post, I went through the public school system in North Carolina.
Harry Styles whenever there's cameras around
“WHY did that alien ambassador just call me ‘peasant’??”
“Sorry, sorry, it’s a problem with the translation software.”
“What kind of problem? Am I about to insult him by accident too? I want it to be on purpose.”
“No, it’s just that the software had trouble with root words and etymology, comparing our concepts to theirs. They don’t have a word for ‘god,’ you see, and—”
“What the blazes does that have to do with it?”
“Look. The word ‘human’ can be translated as ‘person who lives on the ground, or the dirt, or the Earth, and who isn’t a god.’”
“So how did that—”
“It turned into ‘person who lives in the dirt and has no power over others.’ The closest they had when repeating it back through the translator was ‘peasant.’”
“That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard all week.”
“Why do you think I’ve been pressing for everyone to actually learn the language, instead of relying on the translator?”
“Well, if I make it through this meet-and-greet without having to throw or take a punch, I might take you up on that. Stick close. If somebody says something else dumb, I’m turning to you.”
“Don’t look now; the ambassador’s coming back.”
“Great.”
This could be so fun. I’m pretty sure I recall that the word “earthling” is the Old English for “farmer.”
“Why does the Zygoshian attaché keep calling me ‘farm boy’? I don’t get it?”
“And they don’t understand why you keep calling them a briefcase. Your language is weird.”
“Fair enough.”
“Just say ‘As you wish’ whenever they ask for something, and refuse to explain.”
“Dude, no. I’m not going to make Old Earth media references here; I want them to like me.”
“Clearly you haven’t met that other ambassador over there, who’s obsessed with Old Earth.”
“…Is that a tentacle alien wearing a T-shirt? With a Back to the Future logo on it??”
“You two have much to talk about. I just heard him say ‘Yippie-ki-yay, motherbrother.’”
“OMG. See you in an hour.”
oh my god. you saw the ad and thought WHAT???? im so sorry for the panic, they charged us by the letter!!! no, no, timmy’s thirteen now, we found the baby shoes in an old gift bag in the garage
I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!
Sure, I’ll reblog that.
x men days of future past is so funny bc wolverine is unwillingly forced into the role of Mom Friend
fling your consciousness half a century back in time, they said. it’ll be fine, they said. little did logan know, he would primarily be playing relationship counselor to drug addict charles and his ‘in prison for maybe killing jfk’ ex bf, all while dealing w hank’s self esteem issues, everyone trying to kill raven, magneto’s kleptomaniac son, and an apocalypse
Daniel and Weird Al Yankovic 💥💥💥
📸 by Sinna Nasseri (New York Times)