obsessed with ray who hardly ever tweets being on twitter like 20 minutes before they’re supposed to be on stage
Y'know, some people do have a strong crying response to stress, and they might cry (even against their own will) when faced with an upsetting situation and that doesnt mean they are “gaslighting” or “manipulating” you.
There are people who use crying as a manipulation tactic? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean that every person that cries during a heated argument is trying to get under your skin. They have their own emotions and issues, and frankly, not everything other people do is a personal attack on you.
chiribomb
Jfc I am not surprised OP got shitty responses, but like, if your reaction to this post is to immediately look for ways in which you can misinterpret and misapply it in order to be self-righteous on the internet, then I have some terrible news for you about who is actually engaging in incredibly manipulative and dishonest behaviour here. Hint: it’s not OP and it’s not people who cry easily.
Today, on this fateful day in sex ed, I have to teach 25 9th graders how to put condoms on wooden dicks without losing my composure. Wish me luck lmao
Now to find a way to discreetly transport this entire drawer to the other side of the building...
Today went well overall. Lots of great conversations took place alongside some... very silly ones lmao.
Here are some highlights from this morning’s lesson:
Me: *removes the wooden dicks from my bag and slaps them on the table*
Students collectively: o_O
That one student: nice
—
Me: *demonstrating how to put on a condom*
Also me: *puts it on wrong the first time, even though I practiced twice beforehand* So everyone, here we see what not to do. Let’s try that again
—
Me: *finished demonstration, holding a sheathed wooden dick* so what questions do we have about condoms before I unleash you all to practice on the models?
Student: *raises hand* yeah, I’m wondering how you’re feeling about your life choices up until this point?
Me: o-o
—
Student 1: *raises hand* miss, why are the condoms so... slimy?
Me: thats lubricant, it helps get rid of friction that might cause discomfort during intercourse.
Student 2: *raises hand* can you use lube on a slip and slide?
Me: *genuinely considering the possibility*
—
*during a conversation about excuses people have heard for not wearing condoms*
Student 1: I had a guy tell me he was too big to fit in a condom
Me: *opens a condom, puts entire forearm inside and pulls it up to my elbow* here’s why that’s not true
Student 2: I once saw a video of somebody that put an entire watermelon in a condom before, so unless that dude’s got a watermelon shlong, that’s cap.
Me: *slowly losing composure behind my mask* you have the right idea, but let’s refrain from using the word ‘shlong’ in class, please.
—
Me: what are some ideas of things we can say to people who try to pressure you into having unprotected sex?
Student 1: tell them you don’t want their penis cooties!!
Student 2: penis cooties? Pretty sure that’s just herpes
Me, internally: like... you’re not wrong
—
Me: alright everyone, time to return the wooden models up front. Remove the condoms by firmly grasping the base of the model and sliding it off. Don’t forget to throw it away please!
Student 1: FIRMLY GRASP IT
Student 2: idk if I can return it now, miss. I’ve become attached to mine(the wooden dick)
Student 3: yeah, most men are
Me: *trying to keep a straight face*
—
Student 1: miss, why are the wooden dicks so shiny when you take the condom off
Me: oh, that’s just the lubricant from the condom.
Student 2: so you know you put the condom on right if your dick is shiny after?
Student 3: yeah! If your dick is shiny, you’re doing it right
Me: *trying to keep my composure pt. 36716159* uh, yeah that’s not necessarily the case. You see, these models are wooden. Penises are not.
Student 3: then why is it called morning wood?
Me: *internally self destructs*
—
Me: *casually wiping off the lube from wooden dicks w/ a paper towel before returning them to my bag* so what questions do we have about the use of contraception?
Student: miss can you please not make eye contact with us while you do that?
Never have I wanted a decanter and glass set more in my entire existence.
Oh shit! Is that a man!?
Reblog if boobs are pretty cool
One of my favorite birds 🦅 🐦
No like, tits
This?
No like, hooters
gif87a-com
this is it, this is the best video on the entire internet, everybody can retire now
yes, this is exactly what you think it will be
LPT: Don't throw your junk mail away. Use it to to help the USPS instead!
Next time you get a credit card offer in the mail, or a junk piece of mail that includes a prepaid envelope or postcard, don't throw it away! Send the envelope back with a blank sheet of paper inside, or don't fill the postcard out, but still send it back. The company that sent it to you had to pay the USPS for postage on each one they get back. This is a way to support the USPS by doing very little, and sticking it to the annoying companies that want all of your money.
In the 90s we would send companies “hate mail” by stuffing prepaid envelopes with things like ‘blanks’ (flat heavy metal pieces), a roofing shingle) and layers of other competitors’ mail or junk news. This is because the company would have to pay more upon recieving the junk mail. It eats into them. It actually somewhat reduced our junk mail returnables, I think. Send that mail y’all.
Except please don't do this to nonprofits!!
If you do this when you get a donation request or something from a nonprofit, you'll be forcing small organizations with very little overhead to deal with the incoming mail and paying for the postage.
Credit card companies? YES. Personal loan offers? ABSOLUTELY. The chain store you've never shopped at who bought your info from a competitor? BY ALL MEANS.
But don't do this to your local "Friends of the Library" fundraiser or homeless outreach program or anything like that. You'll be draining their limited resources that would be better used elsewhere.
Feel free to do it to groups like Salvation Army, PETA, or Susan Komen cuz fuck them.
Hey y'all. I was talking to a retired postmaster about this.
She was 100 percent for this, bit please PLEASE do not use metal pieces or roof tiles. It can jam the sorting machines and cost the office millions to replace it.
Cardstock? Other papers? Fine. They are flexible. They go through the machine without issue.
So go ahead, send the junk mail, but limit it to paper.
i cast concussion! [beats you over the head with my staff]
*simultaneously consuming five forms of media to prevent the chance of a thought occurring*
I'm not sure if this will come out right but:
Being loved is NOT a reward for being beneficial or useful in any way. You don't become less deserving of being loved if you aren't productive for a day or if you have a bad day and can't get out of bed.
I promise. Being loved has nothing to do with how you "help" the world or those around you.
How scary would it be if you were alone in your house and you just heard Rupaul laugh
[Image description: A yellow bumper sticker on the back of a Camry that reads, "How am I driving? How does an engine even work? How can a loving god cause such agony." End description]
please raise your children to wash their hands after they use the restroom I’ve watched too many men walk straight out of the bathroom from the stall without a second thought and it’s keeping me up at night