a suit of chain mail. it will protect the wearer from slashing attacks only if they make ten more suits of chain mail and send them to ten different people

a chain mail flask. it will hold whatever liquid you want but only if - oh, shit. well that wasn’t really well thought out. can you get me a towel? i need to clean this up before it stains. fuck me

c*cktail recipe: whiskey sourer

hey wait

simpler syrup

mothman-pseudanthium said:

this is what you sound like <3:

whiskey sour on the beach

Hi. Portal 2 Rendoc au. Your welcome

according to joe, the reason so many people turned up at impulse’s party is that he informed them that they had to show up in xisuma costumes, and no one could miss that opportunity.

this tracks.

i sincerely believe that “slut” is the greatest trait u can give a male character but they need to be pathetic and cringe fail about it

Look me in the eye. What did you read

"I appreciate your body"/"If I'm ever just standing around doing nothing, feel free to just um-" "use your body?"

a witch makes you immune to lightning at your baptism and you even get a little necklace like a medical id that says immune to lightnings but it presents as ‘never getting struck by lightning’. and there are like maybe four big storms a year where you live. and people in your life care about you, and for these reasons, you don’t really have a way of proving that you’re immune to lightning, so.

     at age 34 you leave your husband and kids with your life savings, plenty to live on if you don’t come back!, and set out to find a wizard who will fire a lightning bolt at you. because you have to know. you have to know

‘wedge’ is the best word

scar what do you mean by this

ppl will rly be like “god I hate disabled people. anyways I can’t wait to get my medical degree”

oh yeah this would do numbers* on tumblr

*2 likes from beloved mutuals

i think they deserve a little rest <3

watching zed and grian slowly sap brain cells from each other is beautiful. even more beautiful is imagining the kind of heavy sleeper tango must be as zedaph and grian drag him around with fishing rods, throw him off of cliffs, yank him around the shulkers, and finally levitate him through a water elevator,

Everyones like "oh no the tragic events were so avoidable, thats terrible" but they never ask "did you experience catharsis, how was the catharsis, the catharsis looked fun"

GOLF WITH NO LIMITS

shit post