Gwennovynne

whenever i think about playing stardew valley i realize i don't really want to play stardew valley, what i WANT to play is harvest moon another wonderful life lesbian edition but that doesn't exist

ahem

I WIN

im bored who wants to play chess with me

um… i made all of them horsies bc that’s my favorite. sorry

oh i don’t mind at all in fact my horsey is coming to greet yours right now :)

omg hiiiiiiiiiiiii :3

who cares if tjis is against the rules….. who am i to stop my horsey from saying hello to yours

orcs would love going to costco

you get it

they’re opening up a new sister store in a different province and they asked me to do some email correspondence with my joint health and safety counterpart out there to help him get set up and run the team, but they warned me before hand that he was “notoriously difficult” so i was absolutely dreading this thinking “shit, he’s gonna be one of those guys who thinks taking direction is an insult to his masculinity and he’s gonna be rude and suck”

but it turns out he’s just really autistic and needs super clear direction + he writes his emails like a 1911 telegram. i LOVE this guy. i’ve never worked with someone who wrote so clearly and in such detail, and absorbs everything i say. plus whenever he gets an email he responds immediately with “received. response to follow. thank you.” top 10 coworkers of all time. top 5 even.

People were saying Dakota Johnson shouldn't do a period piece bc she looks like she knows what an iPhone is but I feel like theoretically if I were an actor I could do period pieces. I feel like my face fits in a period piece for some reason.

Okay so now everyone answer. What decade/century do you think your face belongs. I'm gonna go for myself, late 1800s

Ralph Breaks the Internet is already a horrible movie but I just can’t begin to imagine how bad it will age

Imagine 30 years from now having to explain to people that Disney was trying to do something DARING by exploring Internet World so they made an “emotional” scene where the main character reads mean comments about him by people who dont even know he’s a sentient creature and just consider him a dumb video game meme

This is so fucking innacurate bc if ralph were real people on twitter wouldnt be hateposting about him theyd be drawing his cock

What was your first source of portable music? Walkman? CD player with headphones? MP3 Player? iPod? Phone? 

my fucking god these tags aged me 50 years

they’re literally the size of a CD, hen. you can still buy them

I'm the person who makes all the lighting happen around the castles of evil wizards and mad scientists. It's a thankless job but the mad scientists pay well, the evil wizards are a bit of a toss up on whether they give me enormous quantities of gold or transmute another piece of me into stone but it's fine, I do this job because I love it

As chair of the wizard- [PARRIES A SPELL] As chair of the wizard counc- [PARRIES A DIFFERENT SPELL] As chair of the wizard council, I- [PARRIES A DIFFERENT SPELL] As chair of the wizard council I think staffs should be illegal during these meetings.

oh i thought this was the staff meeting

My ideal gender presentation is masculinity but doing it wrong because I'm also doing femininity but doing it wrong. Yknow

Am I masc? Am I fem? Well. I'm a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend that you had in february of last year, actually

literally every day i say to myself “wow i’m having a really bad one today” like girl i think this is just your life.

3 am rise and grind 😤😤😤💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

1. Get out of bed

2. Stumble to bathroom

3. Pee

4. Go back to bed

Some fictional characters are relatable in a Gender way not because they’re nonconforming, but because they’re so incredibly into performing their assigned gender that it somehow wraps all the way around. Like, some sort of gender overflow error.

has a breakdown about what a lonely life it is. goes for a walk with headphones in. purchases a beverage at the supermarket. you know how it goes

I don’t like cleaning when people are home but if I’m home alone holy shit the whole house gets cleaned. The second someone walks in the door? I’m done