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everything is getting too emotional so it’s time for kaiba to announce everyone needs to get the hell off his island because he’s about to bomb it the fuck up. i love yugioh so much.

kaibacorpstocksplit

the exact pacing. he’s just so fucking funny

highdio

(x)

#jjba #megan thee stallion #yasss queen #live your best life

zorcskhakis

For @melffy-puppy :D

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.

The 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.

Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.

You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.

Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: yes Rent a car: it IS a car

This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.

Interesting facts: This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"

You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."

Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.

#yugioh #yami yugi #audio #I'm fuckin dead

guerrillatech

punk-jaskier

I also want better public transport that doesn't rely on me having to have a car.

cungadero

🅱oly fuck gamers

ask-oncies-jizz

okay here’s the thing about recruiting kecleon

it’s possible, but just barely. they have a -49.5% recruitment rate, by far the lowest in the entire game. you can boost your recruitment odds in a number of ways. being level 90-100 gives you +25%, and holding the golden mask gives you +24%.

but wait, that still adds up to -0.5% recruitment for kecleon, which is still literally impossible!! well, the Fast Friend iq skill gives you an extra +1% to your rate, giving you a whopping 0.5% chance to recruit kecleon every time you defeat one, given you meet all these requirements. it’s why i’m using celebi here.

more things you absolutely need to do if you want to recruit one:

evasion orbs. like, 10 of them. you need max evasion to stand a chance against the waves.
really, really ludicrously high stats. i’m playing sky, so i used the spinda bar to boost my stats
on top of having high base stats, you need a way to boost yourself. i brought a violent seed on top of that, and celebi has silver wind and ancient power that also have chances to give boosts to all stats. note: some kecleons have screech, if they manage to hit you with it you’re basically dead next time they hit you regardless of how bolstered your defenses are
max elixirs because you’re gonna run out of moves fending off the swarm

resetting will probably happen a lot but with preparation and patience you’ll get your kec eventually. there’s my handy hell lizard recruitment guide

ask-oncies-jizz

the answer to that is a surprising “yes”, its IQ is reset to 0 (like all recruited pokemon) but its stats are ridiculous

the base stats in this game cap at 255 (because they’re counted by signed 8-bit binary) and it was one point off from hitting that cap when i recruited it. its hp is also ridiculously high at 282 despite only being level 42

so this makes it without any contest the single strongest pokemon you can have on your team in this game, stronger than mewtwo, stronger than dialga, everything. keep in mind you have to fight dozens of these at once to get one.

another thing: most pokemon have a small pool of phrases determined by their IQ group, but kecleon seems to have unique dialogue when you talk to it in and out of dungeons.

strange but cool detail to include for something that’s nearly impossible to get in the first place

avocadobananas

who fucking litters. why do i ever see litter. who thinks that’s okay. who. who NEEDS to throw their fast food bag out the fucking window instead of waiting until they get somewhere with a trashcan. what kinda clown behavior. get fucked.