insane the way these stories always ask is it worse to be betrayed by god or by your father. is it worse to be hurt by the devil or by your father. is it worse to be abandoned by the angels or by your father. but it doesn’t actually matter how you answer, because there is no god or devil or angels, it’s only your father in disguise, and even if they were real, they wouldn’t save you anyways
He asked me when I fell in love with him and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw him, so I told him this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire
Tell me a soft memory
we would find out later i had burned off my entire cornea - about 65% of my eye. my doctor told me it is the organ with the highest concentration of nerve endings - i was in an amount of pain that can't be spoken.
and i was blind. for the first time in my life, i was totally blind. i kept thinking about reading, about writing. weirdly, just once, about driving. we had no idea if i would ever see again. just like that - my entire life was different.
it is a strange place to reference for a soft memory, to begin here.
my siblings were taking excellent care of me, but there was a moment in the hospital where, just through bad luck and timing - both of them had to step away for a moment. i was crying at that point; not emotionally. for 3 days after this i would still be crying, my tears, like a mermaid's, a frothy pink with blood.
my brother worried about leaving me. he had another, just-as-bad emergency.
"i got her," someone said. "don't worry."
a soft hand held mine, and then she started talking.
her name was jess. she has a wife named clyde. they live a few blocks up the street. clyde fell down, but the x-rays seem to be coming back better than expected. jess says she's got long dark hair and "more wrinkles than an elephant". jess describes every chair in the room and every person. she talks about her two kids and her cats and her favorite memories from college.
a doctor came. i had to switch to a different waiting room. i tried to stand up to follow the voice - i found jess's hand, following me. she didn't let go. she kept talking the whole way: lamp to your left, just a few more steps, okay to your right is the ugliest painting, good, now a little more walking straight, you got it baby
in the new silence of the next room she sat me down and called my brother for me, telling him where we'd gone to. and she stayed there for a bit, just chatting, her voice echoing in the eerie quiet. gently describing the room to me. and then someone was rude. from the sound of the voice, a kid, i think.
"why is she crying?"
"she just lost her vision," jess said. "she can't see."
"oh." said the kid. "that's scary."
the kid tells me he is here because he has peas stuck up his nose. that makes me laugh, his mom (?) groans. she tells me about the kid (he's 6, he likes paw patrol and eating cheese), about herself, about moving from cali.
jess says she's sorry, but she has to leave now, she's gotta go check on her wife.
"don't worry," says the mom. "i got her." and then i felt her hand press into mine.
for hours like that: i am taken care of by strangers. each person just talking with whatever comes to their head - not for any reward or celebrity or real reason, i guess. just because i am scared and alone and in the hospital and blinded and need to be distracted. not everyone even got told the story - they would just pick up in the silence with - oh by the way the television is playing HGTV - do you like that kind of a thing? yeah, me too, but could never quite get into those open-floor plans, i'll tell you -
by the time my brother is able to come back, the room is buzzing. we talk to each other like old friends, laughing, cracking jokes about if you don't like hospital food wait until you get on an airplane and can't believe i'm up past two in the morning what a party animal i'm becoming. i am holding the hands of someone named drew, who likes my crow tattoo and making crochet snails.
there are many dark moments full of pain in this world. this - in the low of absolute-dark, absolute-pain: people find a way to paint in it anyway. the color splash of their voices: this triumphant, radiating kindness of - let's be here together, let me help you, let's keep going.
i never saw their faces. i can't remember many of their names. but i think about them often, and the way we all took a deep breath - and did something gentle amongst the pain.
And I had to be more than just a brother. I had to be a father and I had to be a mother
it’s been said thousands of times before but ur white before ur lgbt and i think a lot of you forget that, like, if you are a white person you will always have power over poc regardless of u being gay or trans, ur whiteness is a pedestal that u will never get to forfeit even if u have a pride flag, and bc of that u will never be the target of systemic / general racism and therefore have no say in conversations on what is and isn’t racist, you are not effected, you donot have the history of subjugation that poc do, cishet or not you are white and that shapes how you navigate thru the world regarding racism, and if you cannot understand that and refuse to unlearn bigoted behavior you will never be an ally to people of color, being apart of a marginalized group does not suddenly make you a good person / a person who cannot be racist, but a lot of you think it does
riotisnotquiet
The 5 things you gotta know before you let that cop into your house
THIS STUFF IS SOOO IMPORTANT TO KNOW. Seriously. It’s saved my ass before.
velocicrafter
What do you do when you look through the peephole and see a badge?
- Remember: You do not have to let the police in the house unless they have a warrant — or probable cause. If you’re having a party, turn off the music, ask your guests to chill, and ask that anyone who’s too intoxicated carry on in another room.
- Go outside to speak with the cops. Close the door behind you. Although some scary precedents are being set these days, police cannot enter your home without a warrant or probable cause. By closing the door, you’re cutting off a visual — or olfactory — line to potential probable cause.
- Be polite. Ask why they are there. “Good evening, Officer. What can I help you with?”
- Where possible, assure them you will take care of the problem. If the police ask to enter, inform them, “I do not consent to any searches.” If a police officer gives you an order and you are confused about your position, ask, “Do I have to comply?” If they continue with questioning, tell them you’ll need to call your lawyer and that you will not answer any questions.
- Ask, “Am I free to leave?” This is especially handy if, say, a group of you’d been too bawdy on the patio and an officer stops by. If he/she is getting a bit hot under the collar, politely ask, “Am I being detained?” or “Am I free to leave?” If the cop has no reason to hold you, quickly, quietly, and politely retreat inside.
The POC’s Bill of Rights when it comes to the Police. Remember. These are your rights.
theshorteststory
FLEXYOURRIGHTS.ORG is one of the most informational websites. The videos are extremely enlightening.
shrinkagegoddess
Please read and know these things!
^^^ !!!!!!
please behold the 24 Hours of Lemons race, in which you can only spend $500 total on a car to cross country race for 24 hours
named after the legendary 24 hour Le Mans race, Lemons rallies barely legal cars in an endurance race across America. had the privilege of sharing the freeway with this race and seeing the absolute art od this event
friendly-neighborhood-patriarch
This is so American I could CRY
Okay important note about lemons (my brother owns a team technically). It's $500 on the car and anything that makes it go vroom (engine parts), and receipts Must be shown to judges pre-race.
THAT SAID! Safety budget is unlimited! Safety is anything to keep the driver safe, namely roll cage, seat, harness, wheels, and breaks, which can still cost a $2k+ in total. And certain safety stuff is required, like the roll cage for example.
Now back to that original $500... The judges look your car over and can generally tell what stuff was recently replaced (looks cleaner, or isn't OEM), and that's what they're looking for in the receipts. That said, bribing IS allowed, so if a judge spots something that's *technically* below board, they might also magically find a pack of cigars or a bunch of free motor oil bottles or a 6 pack of beer right next to it. Who knows how it got there? And suddenly they forget about that one little thing
It's all fun and games mostly, though doing well is still a point of honor for the teams. It's extremely American, but also not in a toxic way. If there's a way for you to see a lemons race I recommend it!
grabbing people & shaking them by the shoulders & asking DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE REJECTED HALFWAY TO EXIST IN THE ETHER BETWEEN STRAY DOG & A EUTHANIZED BODY CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO RETURN TO THE WARMTH OF A LOVING MOTHER DO YOU KNOW WHERE CHILDHOOD GOES WHEN I FORGET PLEASE CAN YOU TELL ME I'M NOT ALONE HALF FEATHERED & AWKWARD CAN YOU BE THE SOLACE I HAVE SPENT A DECADE SEARCHING FOR & FAILING TO ACHIEVE & they smile & tell me i should focus on a stable career
writing is so hard i want to be praised for all my most clever lines right now
everyone is like ‘writing is so isolating’ but i write three lines and immediately hit up all my friends for attention like im a cat who’s never been fed
I love u crossdressing I love u transsexualism I love u nonconformity I love u leather I love u hormone replacement therapy I love u gay sex I love u transvestites I love u girlboys I love u femininity I love u gender subversion I love u found family through similar experiences I love u freaks I love u weirdos I love u explicit and unapologetic gender variance
the first early hominid to make use of metaphor or allegory must have blown the others away, "your actions will have consequences... just like a tree has fruit!" WOOAHHHH holy shit guys did you catch that
one hominid is so impressed that he goes back home and is like “this cave feels so peaceful tonight... just like a tree has fruit” and everyone makes fun of him
whole tribe going completely apeshit at first ever comedian
I can't stop watching this omg 🥺💞💞💞
voiceover, quietly, in a New Zealand accent: When I was taking this little guy's photos, I noticed that he was having difficulties getting into the poses and wasn't feeling a hundred percent comfortable. So I scooped him up, un-swaddled him, and gave him a little back massage. Because I knew that he had had a little bit of a hard birth, little bit of a hard entry into the world, and quite often things like a C-section, forceps, or a tight birth canal can often result in a pulled muscle or a knot in their back, shoulders, or neck. And look at that, when I hit the spot, he lets me know, with [voice goes up an octave] a beautiful big SMI-YILE!!! Isn't it gorgeous!! [normal voice] And he was totally comfortable after that.
cant stop thinking abt ursula k. le guin’s essay abt the carrier bag theory….. she’s like, maybe the first human tool was not a weapon, but rather something that holds, a bag, a pouch, a vessel, something for gathering and storing and sharing. let’s shift the narrative of humanity from that of violence to that of safekeeping. and i’m like
and THEN she’s like, a novel is also a carrier bag. there’s the Hero’s story, sure, but there’s room enough in fiction for every experience, for every little thing, and it’s that other story, the life story, that she seeks……. o|-<
I just want y’all to know that one time during lockdown I played a lot of Minecraft because I had nothing better to do and then later I was going to go into my room after a shower so I could go back to being a hermit but it was dark so I just thought “oop, can’t go in there, there’ll be skeletons spawning there and they’ll shoot at me”
And for LIKE FIVE WHOLE SECONDS I didn’t question it and I just turned on the lights and walked out into the living room to wait it out, just thankful I had my pajamas on already so I didn’t have to fight off the shooty skeletons in my dark closet where there might be some creepers too
And then all of a sudden I was like “Wait what the frig skeletons aren’t real” and then just went back into my room
And I think about that a lot. So if ANY OF YOU dare to think that I have any more than three and a half braincells on a really good day, just please remember this and know that you are sorely mistaken
I hate to break it to you but skeletons are, in fact, real. There's one incredibly close to you at this very second
this is like that one summer I played too much chess, and then I was standing in line at the grocery store at a slightly diagonal angle to the person in front of me and I had this light go off in my brain like “weak pawn structure this is your chance” before I realized that it was real life actually.
literally every day i somehow manage to forget that i need to eat food to function and im like ‘oh god why am i feeling so terrible oh wait i havent eaten today’ like
me, overcome with A Mysterious Ailment: am i dying me after eating some popcorn: ah shit turns out im just a carbon-based lifeform that requires sustenance