Honestly this was funnier than the post.
c-hicken
srry but i’d rather keep my skin on than shade my bones and fat under a tent made of my skin
And that’s why you’ll never last in the desert.
It takes 600 trees to make a single page of the internet.
The original phrase is not “A man's home is his castle,“ but, “A man's home is his nostril.” The phrase was changed because nobody could figure out what the original meant.
What is actually in the Ark of the Covenant?
The ark originally held the stone tablets on which were carved the ten commandments, but these were removed by the high priests around 750 B.C.E. The commandments now reside in the Jerusalem temple, and the ark is being used for general storage. It currently holds:
- The CD collection of Rabbi Mordechai ben Hillel
- Three neckties belonging to Rashi
- Melted Nazi face bits
- A receipt for three AA batteries and a box of waffles
- Jimmy Hoffa
- Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson’s unfinished model kit of a B-25
- Some uneaten nachos
- All of Rabbi Chaim Joseph David Azulai’s bongs, and his hookah
- The Holy Prepuce
- Some National Geographic Magazines
- Season 2 of The Dog Whisperer on DVD
- A key to a car that Mel Brooks owned two cars ago
- A pen that doesn’t work anymore
By contrast, the tomb of Jesus only holds three nails and a copy of 50 Shades of Grey.
Colleges across the globe give degrees. Colleges in the United States give degrees Fahrenheit.
A.I. Art World In Shock As Leading A.I. Admits To Being Human Artist
FIJMU News 8-12-22 by Erik Snoodmaster
The growing A.I. Generated Art world was surprised and sickened with today’s revelation that the popular visual AI platform known as “Mid-Dali” was in fact merely an artist named Ari Bach.
According to computer graphics expert Ralph Codemonger, “It’s pretty sad when these lousy ‘traditional artists’ pretend to be programming and technology to get ahead in the industry. Bach is an utterly inferior artist and frankly I knew all along that Mid-Dali was a fake from its- his lack of creativity and skill.”
Bach has been charged with fraud and “stolen virtuality” and his drawings, which were falsely pushed on several thousand innocent prompt-requesters an hour, will be refunded. Mr. Bach, pathetic liar to the end, insisted during his arrest, “I swear! I’m not an artist! I’m just some code on a mainframe somewhere!” He was then moved to read-only-memory to await sentencing.
His legal app could not be reached for comment, but it is expected that Bach will be dragged to the recycle bin and over-written.
Self-inserting yourself, I see?
Ok.
If you want to see me self-inserting myself you’ll have to find my OnlyFans.
Sea lions are just seals with an extra electron.
*unionizes your seals*
my seals are now on strike
So how would one go about creating Electric Walruses?
(Asking for a friend)
I hear some androids dream them up. No wait…
Sea lions are just seals with an extra electron.
*unionizes your seals*
my seals are now on strike
Why is American football called football? The ball only touches their feet when they kick a field goal.
Because the ball is made from the skin of retired players’ feet.
The Hungarian Cake Wasp lays its eggs inside of freshly baked cakes so that the newborn larvae will have something to eat.
Much as parasitoid wasps will inject their eggs into caterpillars or other small animals, the Hungarian Cake Wasp evolved in the birthplace of the delicious baked treat. Hungary holds the earliest record for cake baking, about 2,000 B.C.E. (Before the common era) or at precisely 0 B.C., (Before cake). As wasps, like fruit flies, evolve significantly within only a few generations and those generations emerge twice daily, the Cake Wasp has plagued Hungary for several thousand years.
It’s only in the last century though that the Cake Wasp has grown in size to consume entire pastries instead of their sugary toppings. Of course we’ve all seen the rose shaped egg sacks on many cakes, because they incorporate the natural sugars many people simply elect to eat them, or are even unaware that the decorative corners are in fact, Wasp Sacks. But as seen above, the wasps, which measure up to 2ft as adults, will infiltrate the entire loaf rendering it inedible with their signature teal or blue eggs.
Similar trends have been observed in their infancy as generational size shift begins to manifest in Torte Beetles, Eclair Lice, Brownieflies and most prevalent in the Americas, the Mexican Mousse Mantis.
“Reblog” spelled backwards is GOLBEZ!
drawing-feels-nice
im pretty sure z =/= r
I’m pretty sure that if z=2/r+(tanX-X^2)pi+zr(r^2)-X and r+2Br(z^r)r0 and then 2tanX+z=r*cosB/sinB^2(a-2) then yes, z = r.
It was clearly implied when I made the post.
Anonymous asked:
who teh fuck is golbez?
Golbez is the hero of Chrono Trigger, released in 1983 by Sega for their first system, the Playstation. Golbez is the brother of Luigi and fights Ganon, who wants to conquer the world to build his “Eggman Empire.” He fights through the land of Azeroth by inhaling enemies and gaining their powers.
Golbez also appears in Kingdom Hearts in his orange “Zero Suit.”
Yes. That’s it exactly. The Queen, colonialist destroyer of nations, parasite unto her people, died yesterday of the worst infection of crabs a royal ever knew.
May all monarchs follow 😔
Summary of recent events.
It means I made a few of the crab rave memes that took over the world. I didn’t kill the Queen, no, but it was I who broke her heart :(
Summary of recent events.
Elden Ring (2022, Hidetaka Miyazaki, Sept 8th Edition)
Carcinization
[ID: a screenshot in Elden Ring edited so Queen Elizabeth just died to a giant crab /end ID]
[transcript: #god these memes mutate quickly /end ID]
Thanks for transcribing!
It is said in the ancient texts that when Rowling dies, all the crabs will be trans crabs. It shall be a crab rave to eclipse them all 🏳️⚧️🦀🏳️⚧️
No, Queen Elizabeth II was not a playable character in DS3, only Elden Ring.