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Facts

@facts-i-just-made-up / facts-i-just-made-up.tumblr.com

All facts reported herein are made up and presented for entertainment and satire. If any facts posted by this site are true, it is only by mistake. Now you can't sue me.

A.I. Art World In Shock As Leading A.I. Admits To Being Human Artist

FIJMU News 8-12-22 by Erik Snoodmaster

The growing A.I. Generated Art world was surprised and sickened with today’s revelation that the popular visual AI platform known as “Mid-Dali” was in fact merely an artist named Ari Bach.

According to computer graphics expert Ralph Codemonger, “It’s pretty sad when these lousy ‘traditional artists’ pretend to be programming and technology to get ahead in the industry. Bach is an utterly inferior artist and frankly I knew all along that Mid-Dali was a fake from its- his lack of creativity and skill.”

Bach has been charged with fraud and “stolen virtuality” and his drawings, which were falsely pushed on several thousand innocent prompt-requesters an hour, will be refunded. Mr. Bach, pathetic liar to the end, insisted during his arrest, “I swear! I’m not an artist! I’m just some code on a mainframe somewhere!” He was then moved to read-only-memory to await sentencing.

His legal app could not be reached for comment, but it is expected that Bach will be dragged to the recycle bin and over-written.

Self-inserting yourself, I see?

Ok.

If you want to see me self-inserting myself you’ll have to find my OnlyFans.

A.I. Art World In Shock As Leading A.I. Admits To Being Human Artist

FIJMU News 8-12-22 by Erik Snoodmaster

The growing A.I. Generated Art world was surprised and sickened with today’s revelation that the popular visual AI platform known as “Mid-Dali” was in fact merely an artist named Ari Bach.

According to computer graphics expert Ralph Codemonger, “It’s pretty sad when these lousy ‘traditional artists’ pretend to be programming and technology to get ahead in the industry. Bach is an utterly inferior artist and frankly I knew all along that Mid-Dali was a fake from its- his lack of creativity and skill.”

Bach has been charged with fraud and “stolen virtuality” and his drawings, which were falsely pushed on several thousand innocent prompt-requesters an hour, will be refunded. Mr. Bach, pathetic liar to the end, insisted during his arrest, “I swear! I’m not an artist! I’m just some code on a mainframe somewhere!” He was then moved to read-only-memory to await sentencing.

His legal app could not be reached for comment, but it is expected that Bach will be dragged to the recycle bin and over-written.

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Define a word. Literally anything. Like, potato.

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po·ta·to

pəˈtādō/   noun:

  1. 1. That which potates. Potating consists of sitting in the ground for at least 2 months. Thus the term usually applies to tubers, or foods taken from underground. But it can also refer to buried treasure, or buried bodies. So next time someone asks if you want to eat a potato, be aware they may be referring to a deceased human being they dug up on Tuesday, or to the lost treasure of Blackbeard.
  2. Hey guess what kind of potato McDonalds french fries are made of?
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New York, NY is not the newest York. Two Yorks are newer.

Actually, not only is this fact actually true, but it is exactly true, as there are two Yorks that are in fact newer. Seeing as New York, NY was established in 1898, the two newer Yorks are:

York, South Carolina was formed in 1915 after the residents voted to shorten it’s name.

York, Wisconsin of the Dane County (specifically this one as Wisconsin apparently has a hard on for York) was established in 1977.

AGH SON OF A FUCK! CURSE YOU APOLLO!!!!

This is what I was aiming at:

Things found at Mar-a-Lago

An incomplete list of items found in the raid, in progress:

  • A list of all USA nuclear weapons facility locations
  • Detailed files of American troop movements and strategies, in envelopes with addresses in Russia, China, and North Korea
  • Codes to US Government vaults, safes, and Konami video games
  • D.B. Cooper’s parachute
  • 5500 pages of tax evasion plans, bribes from Russia, and nudes of Barack Obama apparently taken from a White House shower
  • Empty moonshine bathtub gin bottles and dirt
  • Jimmy Hoffa (mummified)
  • Numerous DVDs of digital Trump self-insert My Little Pony hentai
  • 300 lbs cocaine, 100 lbs heroin, 50 gallons of LSD, 8 bins of PCP, and some Ivermectin in an enema bulb
  • Numerous paintings stolen by Germany in WW2, including a room made of Russian amber and some Fabergé eggs (unhatched)
  • Several children with sales receipts from Jeffrey Epstein
  • A blu-ray copy of “The Cars that Ate Paris” by Peter Weir
  • A rotting bagel with olive loaf
  • One signed copy of “How To Violently Overthrow America When You Don’t Get Your Way” by William Luther Pierce
  • Bones of the Lindbergh baby
  • Several exhumed Popes, and half of a Bishop
  • A film reel of the pie-fight ending to Dr. Strangelove
  • A golden ‘Ark’ full of sand topped with two angels and a fedora
  • Genghis Khan (mummified)
  • A broken Swedish-made penis enlarger pump
  • One jar of toenails, one jar of hair, and one jar of what we all hope is mayonnaise
  • A postcard from a Bassetlaw Love Hotel signed, “Until next time, Milo Yiannopoulos XOXOXO”
  • A set of Trump-style toupées set on preserved human heads
  • Ben Shapiro (mummified)

Apollo better keep his prophecy shit AWAY from my blog…

Things found at Mar-a-Lago

An incomplete list of items found in the raid, in progress:

  • A list of all USA nuclear weapons facility locations
  • Detailed files of American troop movements and strategies, in envelopes with addresses in Russia, China, and North Korea
  • Codes to US Government vaults, safes, and Konami video games
  • D.B. Cooper’s parachute
  • 5500 pages of tax evasion plans, bribes from Russia, and nudes of Barack Obama apparently taken from a White House shower
  • Empty moonshine bathtub gin bottles and dirt
  • Jimmy Hoffa (mummified)
  • Numerous DVDs of digital Trump self-insert My Little Pony hentai
  • 300 lbs cocaine, 100 lbs heroin, 50 gallons of LSD, 8 bins of PCP, and some Ivermectin in an enema bulb
  • Numerous paintings stolen by Germany in WW2, including a room made of Russian amber and some Fabergé eggs (unhatched)
  • Several children with sales receipts from Jeffrey Epstein
  • A blu-ray copy of “The Cars that Ate Paris” by Peter Weir
  • A rotting bagel with olive loaf
  • One signed copy of “How To Violently Overthrow America When You Don’t Get Your Way” by William Luther Pierce
  • Bones of the Lindbergh baby
  • Several exhumed Popes, and half of a Bishop
  • A film reel of the pie-fight ending to Dr. Strangelove
  • A golden ‘Ark’ full of sand topped with two angels and a fedora
  • Genghis Khan (mummified)
  • A broken Swedish-made penis enlarger pump
  • One jar of toenails, one jar of hair, and one jar of what we all hope is mayonnaise
  • A postcard from a Bassetlaw Love Hotel signed, “Until next time, Milo Yiannopoulos XOXOXO”
  • A set of Trump-style toupées set on preserved human heads
  • Ben Shapiro (mummified)

That seems like a fairly large enema bulb.

I mean it was found at the home of the biggest asshole in America.

Things found at Mar-a-Lago

An incomplete list of items found in the raid, in progress:

  • A list of all USA nuclear weapons facility locations
  • Detailed files of American troop movements and strategies, in envelopes with addresses in Russia, China, and North Korea
  • Codes to US Government vaults, safes, and Konami video games
  • D.B. Cooper’s parachute
  • 5500 pages of tax evasion plans, bribes from Russia, and nudes of Barack Obama apparently taken from a White House shower
  • Empty moonshine bathtub gin bottles and dirt
  • Jimmy Hoffa (mummified)
  • Numerous DVDs of digital Trump self-insert My Little Pony hentai
  • 300 lbs cocaine, 100 lbs heroin, 50 gallons of LSD, 8 bins of PCP, and some Ivermectin in an enema bulb
  • Numerous paintings stolen by Germany in WW2, including a room made of Russian amber and some Fabergé eggs (unhatched)
  • Several children with sales receipts from Jeffrey Epstein
  • A blu-ray copy of “The Cars that Ate Paris” by Peter Weir
  • A rotting bagel with olive loaf
  • One signed copy of “How To Violently Overthrow America When You Don’t Get Your Way” by William Luther Pierce
  • Bones of the Lindbergh baby
  • Several exhumed Popes, and half of a Bishop
  • A film reel of the pie-fight ending to Dr. Strangelove
  • A golden ‘Ark’ full of sand topped with two angels and a fedora
  • Genghis Khan (mummified)
  • A broken Swedish-made penis enlarger pump
  • One jar of toenails, one jar of hair, and one jar of what we all hope is mayonnaise
  • A postcard from a Bassetlaw Love Hotel signed, “Until next time, Milo Yiannopoulos XOXOXO”
  • A set of Trump-style toupées set on preserved human heads
  • Ben Shapiro (mummified)