The best way I can protect you is to teach you how to protect yourself.

I'm handwash only do NOT put me in that fucking mashine

*reads the advice after I already put you in the machine* Oops

i. am so small.

Tumblr's algorithm working for once

character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*

me:

character in a fight scene: *pins their opponent down by straddling their waist and holding their wrists to the floor*

me:

character in a fight scene: *lifting their disarmed opponent’s chin slightly with the business end of their weapon*

me:

character in fight scene: *pins down the opponent and leans in close to whisper in their ear*

me:

character in fight scene: *restrains the opponent by twisting their arm/s behind their back and pinning them to the wall chest first with their own chest pressing against the opponents back*

me:

Character: *distracts their otherwise equally good/better opponent by flirting*

Me:

Character in fighting scene: *restrains opponents arms in a lock hold with their own, entangling their arms together forcing their bodies to be pressed together and faces in close proximity*

character in fight scene: *holds opponent by the collar, lifts them and brings them close to their face*

me:

Every time this crosses my dash it gets better.

characters in fight scene: *tussle then break apart and warily watch each other while breathing hard*

me:

Character in a fight scene: *steps with only one leg between the legs of the opponent that’s lying on the floor*

Me:

Character in a fight scene: *dives on their opponent to knock them out of the way of something that could have killed them and they both sit their out of breath, staring at each other, one on top of the other*

Character in a Fight Scene: *kicks one their opponent’s legs from behind forcing them to kneel before them*

Me:

Character in a Fight Scene: *is pinned down by by their opponent, but then distracts them and flips them both over, so their opponent is now the one pinned down*

Me:

Character in a Fight Scene: *breathing heavily, wiping away blood from their mouth as they look mildly impressed at their opponent*

Me:

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

characters in fight scenes, doing vaguely erotic shit during the fight.

reaction shots: every gif ever on this one post.

I was about to reblog this, and then I saw the picture and I got the joke, in that order.

like this is just what a normal D&D session is like

If I hadn’t seen this caption I literally would never have gotten the joke. This is just a perfect representation of a normal D&D session. 

— The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972

Note the date, people:

That’s 1972

29 years before AVEN was started online,

and 47 years before the present.

And that’s only the date that Manifesto was written, so asexuals as members of a community must have existed at least some time before that.

So, no: we are not just Tumblr trenders. Get out of here with that.

supporting my asexual friends and foes by rebbloging this

It’s 50 years this month since the first version of the Asexual Manifesto was written. Aces have been writing about our experiences under this name for at least half a century. We are not an internet fad.

Artemis, Bizarro, and Red Hood Icons

Red hood: outlaws lockscreens

a collection

Marvel Voices: Iceman: Infinity Comic #4 (2022)

this better be iceman's official mcu look I'm not even joking

The second half of Loki’s appearance in Marvel’s Voices: Iceman Infinity Comic (2022) #3

Part 1

Marvel Voices Pride #1

This comic is literally so comforting.

SheHulk: "This is not a "cameo every other week" show. Remember who's show this is."

Also SheHulk:

The amount of time that the Ancient Egyptian civilisation lasted is just so mind boggling. It lasted over 3000 years. That's such an insane amount of time. It ended around 30BC meaning that it will only be extinct for as long as it existed in around 950 years. Cleopatra lived closer to the invention of bitcoin than the building of the pyramids of Giza. They were already ancient to her. What the fuck

We have a records from the time of Ramses II of ancient Egyptians doing archeology on monuments that were already a thousand years old to them.

ancient egyptian archeologists. ancient egyptian archeologists. excuse me i have to go lay down and think about things

we can only sext if we roleplay as key figures from the cold war 

im gorbachev who wants to be reagan

Mr. gorbachev tear down those pants

RIP Gorbachev (2 March 1931 – 30 August 2022)

I cannot believe this is where I heard the news.