I hope you don't let those people who totally missed the point of your post get to you :( it isn't fair that others can ruin the fandom experience. I've always been a fan of you and thesexymaid and I hope you feel better soon
This whole thing is literally the final straw for me. I am so sorry for putting you guys through this. I really can’t do it anymore. Too much is expected from just a few people in this fandom and then they are alienated for being ‘elitists” or some bullshit. I am tired. It’s been three years and I am really really tired. I have 95 pages of pixiv inbox messages from artists, filled with replies to the mails I’ve sent them for permission for posting their arts, old and new, growing everyday (though much less slowly now). I have a folder full of incomplete No.6 scripts left over from Project No.6 which everyone involved abandoned but me and thesexymaid before it was even half-way through. I have near 10K arts on my computer that I have to sort by artist so I know which art belongs to who just so I can source them easily. I have five Japanese to English and Japanese to Turkish translation websites bookmarked on my browser just so I can talk to the artists whose arts I wish to share with you. I go through the tags EVERY. DAMN. DAY. to make sure I don’t miss anything. I reblog all the new art. Try to read all the new fics. Do my best to answer everyone. Go through Twitter accounts of Hinoki Kino and Ishino and two dozen artists in case there is something, anything the fandom hasn’t seen yet. I have 25 thousand posts on this blog devoted only to No.6 and No.6 alone and 4K followers that chose to follow me over the course of three years. I wrote 14 fanfictions and tens of thousands of words in roleplaying for this fandom. These are my numbers. I have given my entire soul, my whole heart into this blog because it made me happy, it kept me focused, it kept me safe, it kept me alive. I have never loved a story as much as I love No.6. It has always been personal to me for reasons I cannot even begin to tell you. I found a job thanks to this story. I met three incredible people, all of whom helped changed my life drastically. I met the love of my life and a kind of friend you can only hope to find in your wildest dreams. No.6 changed my entire life in a way only miracles can change a person’s life. Three years in and I am spent. My blog is no longer mine but belongs to the fandom itself, it has been for a long time. It didn’t bother me before because I was allowed to be myself on my blog and I didn’t have to refrain from speaking my mind or daring to have feelings. Yuneyn says in her reply that her feelings are a reflection of many and she only happened to rant in reply to my post. Similarly, I came home and read hers, Ahiku’s and Vox’s replies and that was the final straw for me. Apart from Vox’s, neither Ahiku’s nor Yuneyn’s replies were antagonizing or disrespectful. But I am immeasurably tired of having my opinions and / or feelings being shut down every time I express a fraction of attachment or show any sort of nostalgia for the past of this fandom. Yes, I was here when most of you weren’t. Why is it so hard to accept there may have been people here before you, just as good as you are, that I’ve shared beautiful months with? Why am I, as a person, NOT allowed to cherish those moments and miss those people? I can count with the fingers of my single hand the number of times I’ve made a post about missing my old friends or the old artists, writers, fans. How can anyone look at my blog with 25 goddamn thousand posts, see only those handful of personal spills of nostalgia and tell me with a straight face that I never give any chance to the new in my longing for the old? Are you even serious? This will be my final post on Elanra. After this, the blog will be be inactive indefinitely. I will not password protect it or prevent access with a hiatus theme or anything. My blog has been a resource blog for many people for a long time, so I’ll let you use it as such. I truly apologize to anyone I might have offended unintentionally within these three years in the fandom. I still love No.6 more than anything and it kills me that I have to abandon this blog that I’ve given so much to but I really don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t. I know there are some of you following me who has been in love with No.6 for just as long as I have been, maybe even longer. And I know there are some among you who has just found out about the series and are still giddy with feels over the story. I always thought of the fandom exactly as this unassuming harmony of continual co-existence. I’ve never segregated among any sections of this fandom and even had many arguments with thesexymaid about my idealistic faith in it. I guess in short, I am just too hurt to keep doing this and Tumblr isn’t worth getting myself sick over. I have written ‘reunion will come’ with every NezuShi post I’ve made for three years and I still believe it will but maybe it’s better if I witness that on my own where I don’t have to feel guilty for my feelings. Please look after your fandom. Cherish your artists. Look out for each other. Don’t let unsourced arts spread around. Thank each other. Be excited. Don’t be afraid to think of the past, it’s in human nature to ‘remember’. It is okay to remember every now and then. My blog is yours.


