A League of Their Own - 1.06

wait is it ALL gay?????????

its fun to enjoy things

this is a joke but in jewish lore angels are jealous of humans for our ability to create

Lucy Lawless was not a particularly burly woman, but somehow she made Xena seem like a fucking tank and I don’t understand how.

Don’t get me wrong—she was strong, and certainly not a waif, but more than almost any other female superhero actress I’ve ever seen, Lucy Lawless exuded physical power and weight that I actually believed (when she wasn’t somersaulting in front of a ridiculous greenscreen).

that’s a damn good point

INTENSE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

COSTUME EMPHASIZING BREADTH OF SHOULDERS

THEM THIGHS

WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS ABOUT HOLY SHIT

JAWLINE

EVERYTHING. ALL OF IT. I DON’T KNOW I’M JUST FEELING EXCEPTIONALLY WARM RIGHT NOW.

I LOVE HER

This is because the tank is not concerned with muscle or endurance. Tank is purely a matter of 60% attitude, 30% mindset, and 110% fuckaroundandfindout.

I've also seen another version of the commentary on this post speculating that she was also SHOT like male action star at the time - which has nothing to do with size, but with posture and staging and yes, attitude. 😊

#the enduring joke is that lucy was not particular muscular and hated doing stunts #but renee (who was cast to basically play a perpetual damsel in distress at first) did kickboxing and martial arts #and was a little ball of muscle who could legit kick anyone's ass #lucy lawless #xwp

concept: angels but they look like stingray skeletons

wow good concept???

2021 be like: I'm thriving. I'm miserable. I am revisiting old hobbies. None of my hobbies are fun. I'm walking a lot. I have a vitamin D deficiency. The pandemic has lasted one month. The pandemic is over. The pandemic has lasted for 10 years. I am completely isolated. I talk to my friends constantly. I love working from home. Fourteen months have vanished from existence. I have a repetitive stress injury from working from home. I'm sick to death of working from home. Everyone is getting vaccinated. There's three new variants that no-one is vaccinated from. Stay indoors. Start going out. Outdoor dining. Restart the economy. Don't touch. Isn't it great that we're finally going back to normal?

a while back i read a post along the lines of “if you feel like everyone hates you, it’s time to rest… if you feel like you hate everyone else, it’s time to eat” and honest to god i’ve never used any piece of advice more than i have that one

I always add on “if you feel like you hate yourself, it’s time to take a shower” to turn it into a trifecta.

Siri how do I nap while eating in the shower

all the tips I found for drawing a fantasy map are like :) “here’s a strategy to draw the land masses! here’s how to plot islands!” :) and that’s wonderful and I love them all but ??? how? do y'all decide where to put cities/mountains/forests/towns I have my map and my land but I’m throwing darts to decide where the Main Citadel where the Action Takes Place is

okay so i know i said most of this in the replies but it might be easier to actually reblog and say stuff instead lmao

Cities - go near water!  freshwater lakes and rivers (rivers especially) are the best places for cities because A) source of water and B) travel and trade is much easier cus you can put your boats like right there.  Basically ever relevant city ever was built on a lake or a river.

for rivers in general - because gravity, rivers run from mountains (forming from melting snow and ice (this is why they get fat in spring–more stuff melting)) to lakes/ocean where they can empty out (and even lakes will have rivers leading out that eventually get to the ocean), which can help when mapping out where those start and end.  rivers are also much thinner and faster in steeper elevations and very slow and wide when the land is flat

mountains - i like to think of what the tectonic plates look like because that’s what makes mountains!  mountains are also never standalone they’re always in mountain ranges (archipelagos are really just underwater mountain ranges babey).  a cool trick I like to do is occasionally separate mountain ranges across continents, because over time the tectonic plates shifted and literally split the range in half.  These mountains are really old tho so they’ve eroded and therefore it makes them smaller and rounder (like the appalachians) as opposed to relatively young mountain ranges like the rocky mountains which have taller and sharper peaks

Another mountain trick: if your mountains run along the ocean, the ocean side of the mountains will get a LOT of rain while the other side will be very dry–almost desert-like, in fact.  think of temperate rainforests in British Columbia vs the drier conditions in the canadian prairies

forests - depends on how warm the area might be.  coniferous forests are found further north (before you hit the tree line, and then it’s only tundra onwards) but as you head south you get leafier trees, and the leaves tend to get larger too

If you think about general elevation too, you’ll have places that might be swampy (wet + lower).  if your world has an ice age like we did, then glaciers may have carved the land, leaving piles of soil in the south that was left when the ice receded and places where the bedrock has been bared north of that (like the Canadian Shield in Canada–the reason we see that is because of the glaciers)

You might also have a land that’s dotted in a shitton of freshwater lakes as well because the meltwater filled the holes that the glaciers scraped out (this is why canada has so many goddamn lakes)

and if the ice age was more recent than it was in our world, then you might not even have the forest re-growth and it could be a lot of open plains

tl;dr i like to think of major climate events that might have also shaped the land on top of some basic rules

The Artifexian has an entire series on building your world from literally the stars down and then the ground up.

Though, for fantasy, you can make the world operate on entirely different principles:

With that done, the actual topic of city placement can be covered by videos like this:

Or

Once you have your places, if you want help naming them in realistic ways, this video can help:

This one is on architecture, which is definitely a subset of cities:

But for a more relevant practical guide on making settlements realistic:

Here’s a quick guide for making demographics:

holy shit?

reblog this and put the age you realised you were not straight in the tags

Obviously there are many things to dislike about adulthood but as someone who grew up in an abusive household for whom adulthood offered the only chance at an escape, it's incredibly important to me that i romanticize adulthood whenever possible because i know there are kids and teenagers like me out there who are seeing nothing but complaints about rent and taxes and the loneliness of living on your own and i know they're going to internalize all of that and assume it means that adulthood won't offer them the freedom and safety they've been dreaming of. So while i never want to minimize the difficulties of being an adult, i also want to highlight how incredibly nice it can be to finally have ownership of your life and your body and your time and money and food and everything else in a way that you never had before. You can choose when you wake up! You can choose what you have for breakfast! You can choose when to go to sleep or if you want to (inadvisably) stay up all night watching tv in the living room! In the living room! You can choose what to watch! These are little things, but they are worth taking pleasure in, and they are worth looking forward to.

Sorry to say, but they do the exact same thing for humans too.

It’s amazing how people in the notes and comments are absolutely FURIOUS at me for the included Frozen comparison. Special shout out to everyone trying to prove that real people look like this.

Not to mention that when people edit these characters to have better facial proportions, the originals look like bizarre fish people.

How humans draw themselves is always fascinating to me

op why are you speaking like you aren’t human i’m scared

Eh…perhaps read my blog description.

this post has EVERYTHING

I think I know the reason for why people prefer “unrealistic” animation.

For some reason, humans really don’t like things that look like humans but aren’t quite human. Hence why a lot of people are uncomfortable with movies with animation like Monster House and The Polar Express. It looks too realistic to us and sets us off.

Scientists call this the “Uncanny Valley” effect and its thought to be an evolutionary tactic for survival.

The funny part is. No other animals that we know of experience the uncanny valley effect. Only humans. Which leaves the question: what was out there that mimicked humans so well and was so dangerous to us that we evolved to have this as a tactic for survival?

Oh hell yeah this is what I’m here for

Which leaves the question: what was out there that mimicked humans so well and was so dangerous to us that we evolved to have this as a tactic for survival? 

@hitodama89

Okay, I’ve seen this thread a dozen times before, but not with this addendum.

i made the original post in the throes of unmedicated depression because that’s where my sense of humor was at the time. i don’t check my activity page. seeing it barge onto my dash months later with +250k notes and this exchange attached to it like a bunch of rattling tin cans attached to the tail of a rabid dog running loose is fucking WILD

So sometime after whenever humans developed the uncanny valley effect, did we just hunt this mysterious predator to extinction? Or did it die out on it’s own? Or did it evolve as well into something… else? Could it still be living on Earth today?

Idk why dont we ask the “people eating cryptid” who claims to be from a species that’s easy to hide and apparently passes as human who’s like, 3 reblogs above this?

Hey fun fact;

Back when Homo sapiens weren’t the end-all of hominids, we also had some other two legged “humanish” cousins like the Neanderthals, Denisovians, and more!

There were nine different species of “humans”

By 10,000 years ago, they were all gone. The disappearance of these other species resembles a mass extinction. But there’s no obvious environmental catastrophe – volcanic eruptions, climate change, asteroid impact – driving it.

Instead, the extinctions’ timing suggests they were caused by the spread of a new species, evolving 260,000-350,000 years ago in Southern Africa: Homo sapiens.

Neanderthal skeletons show patterns of trauma consistent with warfare.

Like language or tool use, a capacity for and tendency to engage in genocide is arguably an intrinsic, instinctive part of human nature.

Optimists have painted early hunter-gatherers as peaceful, noble savages, and have argued that our culture, not our nature, creates violence. But field studies, historical accounts, and archaeology all show that war in primitive cultures was intense, pervasive and lethal.

Basically: the reason we as Homo Sapians find other human-ish figures unsettling and have an instinctual fear/aggression response called “The Uncanny Valley” is because we literally TOOK OVER THE WORLD by hunting down and killing every other hominid on the planet.

Dunno if the “9 species of hominid genocide” was a result of uncanny valley or the cause of it, but it’s a pretty sure bet to guess they’re linked.

Read more about it here :)

This is a wonderful post.

@apocrypals this is real

EXTREME TEEN BIBLE… REAL

Y'all are NOT READY for their shirt merch

I’d buy the “yeet pray love” shirt if it came in black tbh

“Pick up your sword bruh”

There are two possible explanations for this. Either no one involved in this project has spoken firsthand to a teenager in over twelve years and their only sources are op-eds written by other baby boomers. Or they did consult actual teenagers, who succeeded in trolling the living hell out of them.

six of one, half dozen of the other

so, I looked into this, because as an ex-church-kid, this delights me to no end. and, my friends? we have only just begun to pull the thread on this sweater!

this book was originally published on August 14th 2020. as you can see above, Matt Walsh’s tweets were from August 21st - but he wasn’t the only one to notice this garbage, and he wasn’t even the first.

by August 20th, multiple Christian news websites had already taken issue with the book, as you can tell by these hilarious headlines:

and by the end of the 20th (at 5:35pm to be exact) Lifeway issued an apology:

lol, guess they realized they fucked up baaad.

(a day later, Sunday Cool also jumped on board the apology train, with this cringe-worthy nonsense.)

so, both companies apologized, assured people that they weren’t trying to translate the whole bible into this “Gen-Z lingo” (gross), and said that people could still buy the book if they wanted to.

but here’s the deal. the book they’re selling? it’s not the original book.

Exhibit A:

^ that’s the original cover of the book. “The Word According to Gen Z - A 30-Day Devo Challenge.”

but the book they’re selling now? well, see for yourself. Exhibit B:

“The Word According to Gen Z - A 30-Day Devo Challenge Using a Made-Up Language for a Real Generation.”

“Using a Made-Up Language for a Real Generation”

these nerds don’t want to admit that they actually thought Gen Z talked like that! what a lack of commitment. they disappoint me.

and the free sample pdf on their website is edited as well! no longer does it say “Cap G” (short for Capital G, by the way - like how Christians spell “God” with a capital G) and “Big J” - now, it just says “God” and “Jesus.”

…good thing I’m a veritable internet detective, because I found the original sample pdf, which is just as cringey as it looked! I recommend skimming it if you want, because it’s a disaster.

but, now that we know that they edited the book, how will we find out what the rest of the verses were? how ever can we know just how bad it truly was before Christian news sites yelled “blasphemy!” and Lifeway had a collective panic attack?

well, guess what! this devo book came with video lesson tie-ins, and they left their whole website up, for anyone to stumble across!

it’s right here, and it’s…jesus fuck. it’s painful.

here are a few of the other “translations,” next to the original verses, so that you can compare:

Isaiah 40:8, NIV Bible:

The “Gen-Z” version:

what the fuck? what the actual fuck? here, have another:

Matthew 4:4, NIV Bible:

The “Gen-Z” version:

“sammie blanks”?? sammie blanks?

Ephesians 6:17, NIV Bible:

The “Gen-Z” version:

ah, of course. that big ol’ knife.

one last one, and then I’m done with this.

Galatians 6:2, NIV Bible:

The “Gen-Z” version:

I…I’ve got nothing. this broke me. I give up!

final notes:

1. don’t go following Matt Walsh on twitter. like, I’m glad he brought this to our attention, but he’s marked red on shinigami eyes, and from his tweets, he looks like a shitty person.

2. all of these translations are actually blasphemy, and I’m pretty sure a few of them count as straight-up heresy. so, there’s a fun thought!

3. I’m pretty sure this is also racist? like, some of these verses seem like mangled AAVE, and that’s not okay! that’s fucking terrible!

4. when you click on any of the video tie-ins, you’ll find out that the guy in the devo videos looks like this:

yes, he’s wearing sunglasses in a dimly-lit room. and yes, he’s wearing a shirt with a picture of praying hands and the word “Yeet” on it. and on that note…

5. what the fuck do they think “yeet” means? I mean, that “yeet pray love” shirt is a work of art, but this begs the question…what do they actually think it means?

what are we supposed to be yeeting?

anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

my brain, stomping it’s feet: i wanna use one inconsequential negative experience to spiral into an echo-chamber of self hatred!!!

me, stirring my tea with my little plastic knife: no, we don’t do that anymore

Here comes the sun

this is the cutest thing i’ve seen all day

Responding to a pandemic in the world’s wealthiest and most powerful nation:

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE APOLOGIZING FOR BECAUSE I’M COMPLETELY CONFUSED

The RNA vaccines approved for COVID-19 in the US both need to be distributed at extremely low temperatures. Like 40F lower than any other mass-distributed medicine.

It turns out the Dippin Dots company runs the only nationwide supply chain that’s ever operated at those temperatures. So all these big serious health orgs are consulting the expertise of, and even exploring renting equipment from, The Ice Cream of the Future™️.

WODJSKXNSIJXSKD

this is my cursed jug i have that bleeds when you pour water in it. 

we’ve done this ten, twenty times now to no apparent change?

haunted

I’m 100% certain this is glaze fuckery but the delivery of “it’s bleeding!  It’s possessed.” is absolutely the best thing

Bad paint?

That’s a Time Bomb/Biohazard!!!

The glaze on the inside and outside of the Jug has developed cracks which when the Water is added causes the darker red clay under the white glaze to absorb the water. This in turn makes the Jug “Sweat” or “Bleed”. But it also compromises the integrity of the Jug as the Clay inside is becoming soggy as it absorbs the water. It’s also a breeding ground for Bacteria and Mold as the Clay can’t properly dry inside the glaze.

So it’s either going to fall apart and shatter into a bizillion little pieces.

Or it’s going to become a rancid smelling object that would Poison anything that Drinks/Absorbs the water put inside it.

So it’s cursed

But like

Scientifically cursed

Most curses are science we don’t understand

“most curses are science we don’t understand” woah ok there pal there’s no need to crash through half my reality and light it on fire like calm down