cats are like. i am very small and have cute little triangle ears. also locking me out of the bathroom is a hate crime
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
— -Matthew Fisher on Tamed by Emma Chase (via suspend)
famousest-deactivated20210114
crush accidentally makes physical contact with you
meninvogue
Tom Holland photographed by Michael Muller for Man About Town Magazine
me browsing my dash: cool pic but wouldn’t…
I swore this was photoshopped
I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE THE GRAPES
i need to know if this friend is actually named murphy or if they were given the nickname murphy because they’re a walking disaster
murphy’s law: if left unsupervised and uninhibited, anything which murphy can do, they will
aceofsquiddles
me: has absolutely no idea what size an acre is in real people language
1% the size of the wood where Winnie the Pooh lives, next question
this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time
a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said
“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”
i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light
7 years of bad habits, 4 years of good ones, all to return to where I started. I will get back there someday. I will reach the top of my own mountain. Just not today.
weloveshortvideos
Who’s that hiding under the sheets?
This is, like, the opposite of a horror movie.
Source: weloveshortvideos.com
wattpadfic-deactivated20170213
teacher: here’s ur topic me: oh jeez i hate that topic teacher: pick your own topic me: oh jeez im not a decision maker
the human life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach… warmed by the sun… unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life…
babel-infocalypse
do you need to talk
unrelatedtouserboxes
i wish i was a croissant
