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That man looks like he filled up a gogurt

@crownofstardustandbone / crownofstardustandbone.tumblr.com

30’s she/her, bi, American. THIS BLOG IS DNI FOR: TERFS, RADFEMS, GENDER CRITICS, EXCLUSIONISTS, RACISTS, FASCISTS AND ANYONE WHO SUPPORTS THEM!!!
Feminist shit, funny shit, random shit. Pro shipping, pro queer, pro kink, anti-anti. Side fan blogs are: thebuckybrigade(for winteriron, stucky, stuckony and other fanish content) and TheRollingStonys(stony, winteriron and other side ships on occasion run with my co-mod Tina!)
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in school I used to wear fake glasses while doing writing assignments so that the teachers would think I was smarter and grade my tests higher (this actually worked, for the record)

this kind of backfired in a pavlovian way because now I literally have to put on a pair of glasses and activate Smart Mode when I write anything longer than a few paragraphs

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it's just very fortunate that "I can't write without my glasses" is an honest statement that doesn't raise any eyebrows

reverse superman

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subparwoman

If you haven’t seen the meme, it’s three photos of me showing my flapjacks to the judges and then a quote, I don’t remember saying this but apparently it’s how I talk, says “Started making it, had a breakdown, bon appétit”

James Acaster on his Bake Off experience - Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999

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civilty in US politics is fu*cking bonkers man you can have a preacher at a town hall calmly calling for gays to be publicly executed but if a politician responds to him “FUCK YOU” that politician would be the subject of a week-long tirade about some bullshit “this is a dark day in american history. i cannot believe a politician would say the f word. we are a country of people who respect others’ opinions uwu”

I made this post before beto o’rourke most recently called someone a motherfucker for laughing about children being killed in a mass shooting but this is the exact kind of thing I’m talking about

policies that get children killed: fine

saying fuck: hold on now let’s be civil

Kindness vs politeness

Personally I don’t give a rats ass about being polite. Kindness is far more important

I think the cursing rubicon in politics was crossed years ago and all this performative pearl clutching on behalf “civility” is just to distract from the fact that a guy showed up at a Beto O’Rourke rally and had a good laugh at the idea of children being shot by AR-15s.

I think that the appropriately civil thing to do under the circumstances would be to invite the gentleman in the audience to join you up front and then to calmly, methodically beat the shit out of him.

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

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as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

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Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

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Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

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derinthemadscientist

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

Is it a glitch or a feature?

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cardboardfacewoman

Feature

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s-peak-in-tongue-s

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

Maybe i should just start being meaner to people sometimes. Not like, everyone. But when pizza guys keep hitting on me and asking me if i have snapchat i should just say shit like "no im in my 20s why would i." Control the conversation. When asked if Im having a great long weekend say "no i work all weekend so i can make rent. Dont even get time and a half bc its a civic holiday." Just be real. Fuck it

press x to doubt “better than 90% of classic lit” but The Hunger Games is legitimately good

better than The Lottery for sure

The Lottery is one of those stories that is only famous for its meta - got tons of hate mail, press, dueling articles about it, etc, when it was published, and so therefore got famous as a stand-in for a single concept that keeps people referencing it. As a text its unremarkable, and The Classics are alas filled with those stories, texts famous for being a stand-in for a topic of import rather than a good literary work in their own right.

Hey, for another perspective here, I’m not American (so my classics are not your classics, they’re in another language altogether), and when I read “The Lottery” in an anthology of American short stories, I knew nothing about it, I didn’t know it was famous, I’d never heard of Shirley Jackson, I didn’t perceive it as a classic at all, just a story among other stories in a book that I picked up for my own enjoyment (and not for a school assignment or anything),

and I was blown away. It’s fucking amazing. It hit me like a brick and I loved it.

Now, there’s no accounting for taste so I’m not gonna argue about it here, but I strongly suspect that if everyone could wipe from their mind “the classics” (which is different for different people) and everything they know about them, and take out the explicit or implied obligation to read them and to like them whether they want to or not, and remove the endless repetitive didactic lectures they’ve heard about them, and if they could just read them, for the first time, with fresh eyes and open minds,

well at least 20% of them would still be mind-blowing. (did ya think I’d say all of them?)

Exhibit A: I once posted here a poem, translated in English, and got a truly fascinating comment: someone started reading it, thought “aww, what a beautiful poem”, and then got to the end, saw the Spanish original underneath, and immediately went “aw fuck, that’s the stupid damn poem they make us recite in school at the end of every year, god I hate it”.

So it’s not that “Wanderer, there is no road, only wakes upon the sea” is good and “Caminante, no hay camino, sino estelas en la mar” is bad, it’s just that when they force-feed you something over and over, you develop an aversion to it. You know how forbidden and/or stolen fruit just tastes sweeter? Well the opposite is also true, and here we are.