omg, this gave me flashbacks. There's a few things that I wish I had known:
-healer is the most stressful class, because if you die, most of the time, everybody dies. And you have to somehow survive while healing everyone in instances that you've never seen before. Also, if you have outdated gear on, you will be able to heal less, so update your gear as much as you can. If you want less stress, switch to DPS or play Tank.
-you can unlock DRK the moment you step into the Firmament, but it unlocks at level 30. To use it as your main class, you will have to level it up to level 50, the same level as the content you're doing. Here's a guide to that. I recommend Palace of the Dead and Leveling Roulette.
-make sure that you're doing your Class Quests (a special questline dedicated to the class you're playing, that unlocks new skills and gives gear) - in the top left corner, you'll see the name of the Main Scenario quest, and if you have a Class Quest available that you haven't completed on your current job, it will be right below that, and you can click it.
As soon as you get to Shadowbringers and Endwalker, you will be able to play dungeons by yourself.
maybe take a pause and play the Crystal Tower 24-man raid series - it's side content that you have to complete to be able to continue the main story, and it's content where you don't have to play well because there will be another 5 healers healing while they eat pizza with their other hand. You should already have it unlocked. It starts with this quest.
It's very stressful for people who don't like multiplayer, but with some adjustments it can hopefully be more fun. DPS have a longer wait time, but it's because it's not as stressful to be DPS. Tanks have to lead the pace, and Healers have to heal. If you're terrible at DPS, it just makes it a little slower, but nothing bad happens. As healer, you may be getting the experience of having a very experienced Tank who pulls all the enemies in the whole level and then dies because they didn't notice you were new. A big part is the tank not balancing with a new healer. And many people are replaying these dungeons as speedruns to get leveling experience.
Anyway it's a huge hassle, and I remember being reduced to tears by not wanting to play with other people, but I promise the story is worth it. The DA devs on twitter were gushing about how good Endwalker is and how much they enjoyed the writing when it came out, and I honestly hope it inspires them.
