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Si Creabis, Fit Redunda.

@copperbadge / copperbadge.tumblr.com

I am Sam, I do stuff. Missing the links that used to be here? Thank Tumblr's janky display code! While I try to fix it you can find all the links here.
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Anonymous asked:

your last few kitty photos look like oil painting candidates

Aw, thank you! With some of them I think it's that the phone camera does something weird with extreme zoom (often if I try to get up to take their photo, the cats will also get up) but I'm also super fortunate to have A) very photogenic cats and B) insanely good lighting in my home. :D

Anonymous asked:

I didn't learn how to drive until my mid-twenties because of road anxiety, but I tried to learn when I was a teenager. And I so distinctly remember a lesson with my dad where we're out on the road, and I started to slow down because I saw a car approaching a side street and they didn't look like they were going to stop. And my dad told me to keep driving because "you can't drive for everyone else out on the road." which was a little terrifying and possibly part of the reason I didn't drive until my mid-twenties.

Yeah that's...not something I would tell my kid who was learning to drive, no wonder it fucked you up. You can't drive for everyone else on the road but like, that's no reason not to drive defensively. It's been a while since I took driver's ed but I'm pretty sure part of being a good driver is anticipating what other people are up to and reacting appropriately so you don't get T-boned.

As a pedestrian or cyclist, if I can't see a driver's face or where their eyes are, I behave as though they can't see me at all. They can stop and wait for me to cross but if they haven't made eye contact with me they can stay there until hell freezes over, I'm not crossing. I've been hit by too many cars to behave otherwise.

It blows my mind how many people don't realize that a car is a murder machine. People drive like they are not in control of a large steel and glass object that can kill someone without even slowing down. Couldn't be me. When I drive, I behave as though if I make a moving violation I will kill someone, because guess what? SOMETIMES THAT HAPPENS. To assume another car won't hit and kill you just because your car has the right of way is nonsense.

Argh! Cars!

Anonymous asked:

Shivadhverse: What are the odds of Jerry’s Roman Ruin Dig unearthing something like the Warren Cup ? (British Museum)

I think it will depend on the plot! I hadn't really gotten much beyond the idea of there being a Roman ruin under the Shivadlakia estate, and what happens with that ruin will depend (eventually) on what I come up with plotwise, but it'll take a while before I'm there. Although certainly it's difficult to imagine there wouldn't be a place for an erotic drinking cup in a romance novel :D Perhaps for them a mosaic, erotic mosaics were certainly a thing.

I will say, the poses on the cup don't look terribly comfortable.

I've got hip cramps just looking at it. Although, this being Askazer-Shivadlakia, they probably would appreciate the comedy of the awkward sex on the sexy cup. I was going to say "Imagine Jerry getting his first good look at it and offering commentary" but no. Imagine Michaelis getting his first good look at it and offering commentary. Poor Gregory.

"It just looks like a young man's sport. If I tried any of that I'd put my back out."

"Dad."

"What? You can't possibly be that squeamish about it, I assume you and Theophile have -- "

"FATHER PLEASE."

"Stretch first, son, that's all I'm saying."

[ID: A photograph of the Warren cup, a bowl-shaped ancient silver drinking vessel. The sculpted relief on the side of the cup shows two naked men in the midst of sex; one is gripping a rope or curtain hanging from the ceiling, sitting in the other's lap with his butt visible to the viewer, while the other, penetrating him anally, holds him by the hips, face pressed between his shoulder blades. It looks like they're enjoying themselves despite the slightly awkward positioning which seems designed mainly to show off the butt.]

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Noah comes running up, LEMME SEE!

Then he’s disappointed because it’s just vanilla gay sex, like come on, he grew up in New York, he’s way too cool to get his porn from ancient Romans, and Jes is like SO WHERE ARE YOU GETTING YOUR PORN, MY UNDERAGE CHILD, and Noah suddenly takes a strong interest in an entirely different part of the dig...

Sam! I've just learned of the existence of Hamburger University, which is one of McDonald's training HQs. The Chicago location has a restaurant on the bottom floor where they cycle through a bunch of their menu options from their international locations. Is this place on your radar???

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Oh shit! I didn't know they had the international menu options.

It is absolutely on my radar, I've eaten there a number of times -- it's near the Plumber's Guildhall, where Randolph Street Market (a curated vintage flea market) used to take place every couple of weeks. I'd go to Randolph Street Market and then walk down to Hamburger University for lunch before catching the bus home.

It's kind of a freaky McDonalds. You have to enter through this weird red glass foyer, and once you walk into the foyer it's basically a blind red cube, you can't tell where the door is and you have to wave your arms around until an automatic door slides back. Inside it's rather nicer than the average, naturally; it has the standard dining tables and chairs but also some extra-comfy chairs, some low tables, etc and many of the tables have wireless charging pads for your phone.

I've always just ordered through the app and picked up, but I hadn't noticed that they had extra options. I'll have to take a look next time I'm there!

okay but, were you to see Captain Underpants on the train or something, would you say something? (I’m kind of picturing a chaotic, straightforward “hey. your windows aren’t tinted” in a situation where you can then just. leave him to be confused/mortified/(hopefully) enlightened)

I honestly don’t know that I’d recognize him, I don’t spend a ton of time looking out my windows (or at least, not at them), and I’m terrible with faces. Even if I did somehow gain galactic knowledge and just KNEW that was him sitting across from me on the train, I don’t think I’d speak up – can you imagine the awkwardness? If I were him I would want to know but I don’t think I’d want to be told to my face by my neighbor, you know? 

I mean, I’m also not the kind of person to walk around in my underwear or my altogether if there’s even a remote chance of me being seen, and I suspect both Captain Underpants and Ikea Showroom Guy give fewer shits than I would in their situation, so maybe he wouldn’t even care, I don’t know….

It took me a couple seconds to realize they meant your neighbor Captain Underpants, not the beloved children’s book character Captain Underpants. It was a WILD couple seconds.

[Image ID: A gif of Captain Underpants, a cartoony character that looks like an egg wearing wite underwear and a red cape, ringing a triangle.]

LOL can you imagine. Seeing that guy every morning. I’m sure I’d acclimate quickly but he’s a whole lot. 

okay but, were you to see Captain Underpants on the train or something, would you say something? (I'm kind of picturing a chaotic, straightforward "hey. your windows aren't tinted" in a situation where you can then just. leave him to be confused/mortified/(hopefully) enlightened)

I honestly don’t know that I’d recognize him, I don’t spend a ton of time looking out my windows (or at least, not at them), and I’m terrible with faces. Even if I did somehow gain galactic knowledge and just KNEW that was him sitting across from me on the train, I don’t think I’d speak up -- can you imagine the awkwardness? If I were him I would want to know but I don’t think I’d want to be told to my face by my neighbor, you know? 

I mean, I’m also not the kind of person to walk around in my underwear or my altogether if there’s even a remote chance of me being seen, and I suspect both Captain Underpants and Ikea Showroom Guy give fewer shits than I would in their situation, so maybe he wouldn’t even care, I don’t know....

The third book in the Shivadh Romances, The Lady And The Tiger, is now available for purchase in print and epub! 

Already familiar and just want to buy it?

The Lady And The Tiger: Hardcopy | Epub

As with the first two books in the series, The Lady And The Tiger is $3.99USD for epub, $12.99USD for print; prices vary a bit by currency for the hardcopy but are generally between 12 and 17 of your local smackers.

Want to learn more? Read on!

Welcome to Askazer-Shivadlakia, a coastal micronation with one of the few democratic monarchies in the world, Europe’s only Jewish royal family, and a distinctly queer-friendly culture. The irreverent but earnest Shivadh people have recently elected a new king, and there are changes afoot for the country.

The Lady And The Tiger, the third book in the Shivadh Romances series, finds King Gregory III’s cousin and assistant, Lady Alanna Daskaz, transported across the border to Galia, a nearby micronation that claims she’s the heir to their throne. Bringing her best friend Gerald, Duke of Shivadlakia, along with her, Alanna sets to work figuring out how to escape becoming Duchess of Galia without destroying Galia in the process. Jerry, who has a complicated life at the best of times, is trying to solve a few problems of his own along with helping Alanna solve hers. None of this is made easier by the fact that Alanna’s had a secret crush on Jerry since they were at school together, and Jerry’s just starting to believe he might be someone worthy of the Lady Alanna.

Purchase The Lady And The Tiger: Hardcopy | Epub

Download The Lady And The TigerFree PDF

If you’re new to the Shivadh Romances, the previous two books are available here: 

Fete For A King introduces Crown Prince Gregory, who needs a caterer for his coronation and also could use a husband; it turns out he’s stuck with the American TV celebrity and kitsch connoisseur Eddie Rambler, who might want both jobs. Purchase Fete For A King: Hardcopy | Epub

Infinite Jes follows Gregory’s father Michaelis into retirement, and straight into the recording studio of nonbinary broadcast journalist Jes Demios and Jes’s son Noah. Michaelis was just looking for a hobby; instead he might get a romance with Jes, as long as they can keep Noah out of trouble. Purchase Infinite Jes: Hardcopy | Epub

Download Fete For A King: Free PDF

Download Infinite Jes: Free PDF

Interested in supporting charitable causes and getting an autograph for your copy of The Lady And The Tiger, or earlier books? I’m fundraising for Arkansas big cat preserve Turpentine Creek Wildlife Refuge and ADHD support organization CHADD in return for signed bookplates!

To get a signed bookplate with optional personalized message, you can fill out this form, which will provide you with a link to donate $7 or above via PayPal. The collected donations will be split between Turpentine Creek and CHADD in a lump sum, and the form will tell me where to send your bookplate(s). Bookplates are archival-quality paper/adhesive signed with acid-free pen and can also be used as bookmarks.

Anonymous asked:

The MOUPED! 😆🤣😂 Welcome to to the Wonderful World of Footie ⚽️🏟🥅, AKA the Beautiful Game. Comes free with more drama than Shakespeare, and for kids and those of us d’une certain age, Panini stickers.

I had forgotten how much I enjoy watching the games; I used to play as a kid and always enjoyed it. And yeah the drama is off the chain. It's not just that all these players and coaches have beef, real or imagined, with each other, it's also that the sports writing for football is truly Trent Crimm Of Ted Lasso level drama queen. Boy howdy do the footie journos have a lot of feelings and opinions and fanfic ideas.

Well, Bagna Cauda is not the prettiest dish in the world.

[ID: Three images of the bagna cauda I cooked this morning. The first image shows a saucepan full of olive oil with visible cloves of garlic and anchovy fillets in the oil. The second image shows the oil about halfway into the process; some cloves are still visible but the anchovies have become a dark paste at the bottom of the pan. The third image shows a bowl of the strained oil, bright gold, with a little brown residue at the bottom.]

I first encountered it, amusingly, in the recent “Around The World In 80 Days” television adaptation, but I’ve been intrigued by it ever since, and I’ve put it in a couple of scenes in the Shivadhverse, so I thought I should probably try making it, since there aren’t a lot of Piedmontese Italian restaurants in Chicago. 

The recipe instructed me to blanch 60g of fresh sliced garlic, drain water, add 100g of anchovy fillets and 120ml of olive oil, and cook on the lowest possible heat for about an hour, “stirring and smashing” occasionally to blend the garlic and anchovies into the oil. You’re not supposed to strain it, as I did, but the anchovy flavor was so strong I didn’t want to leave them in the oil. Next time, half the anchovies and twice the garlic, I think. 

Also I forgot what a giant pain in the ass peeling and slicing garlic is, even when you know all the tricks. It’s been years since I cooked with anything other than roasted garlic, and I think next time I might just roast the garlic and then dump it into the oil. I roast garlic every few months anyway, I’ll just double the recipe. 

It’s pretty tasty and I cook with olive oil a LOT, but usually not infused (it smokes too much at too low a temperature). It’s going to take me a century to eat that much infused oil. I might try baking a nice loaf of rosemary bread with some of it and see how that comes out. 

The third book in the Shivadh Romances, The Lady And The Tiger, is now available for purchase in print and epub! 

Already familiar and just want to buy it?

The Lady And The Tiger: Hardcopy | Epub

As with the first two books in the series, The Lady And The Tiger is $3.99USD for epub, $12.99USD for print; prices vary a bit by currency for the hardcopy but are generally between 12 and 17 of your local smackers.

Want to learn more? Read on!

Welcome to Askazer-Shivadlakia, a coastal micronation with one of the few democratic monarchies in the world, Europe’s only Jewish royal family, and a distinctly queer-friendly culture. The irreverent but earnest Shivadh people have recently elected a new king, and there are changes afoot for the country.

The Lady And The Tiger, the third book in the Shivadh Romances series, finds King Gregory III’s cousin and assistant, Lady Alanna Daskaz, transported across the border to Galia, a nearby micronation that claims she’s the heir to their throne. Bringing her best friend Gerald, Duke of Shivadlakia, along with her, Alanna sets to work figuring out how to escape becoming Duchess of Galia without destroying Galia in the process. Jerry, who has a complicated life at the best of times, is trying to solve a few problems of his own along with helping Alanna solve hers. None of this is made easier by the fact that Alanna’s had a secret crush on Jerry since they were at school together, and Jerry’s just starting to believe he might be someone worthy of the Lady Alanna.

Purchase The Lady And The Tiger: Hardcopy | Epub

Download The Lady And The TigerFree PDF

If you’re new to the Shivadh Romances, the previous two books are available here: 

Fete For A King introduces Crown Prince Gregory, who needs a caterer for his coronation and also could use a husband; it turns out he’s stuck with the American TV celebrity and kitsch connoisseur Eddie Rambler, who might want both jobs. Purchase Fete For A King: Hardcopy | Epub

Infinite Jes follows Gregory’s father Michaelis into retirement, and straight into the recording studio of nonbinary broadcast journalist Jes Demios and Jes’s son Noah. Michaelis was just looking for a hobby; instead he might get a romance with Jes, as long as they can keep Noah out of trouble. Purchase Infinite Jes: Hardcopy | Epub

Download Fete For A King: Free PDF

Download Infinite Jes: Free PDF

No neck, no problems.

[ID: Dearborn the tortie is sitting on a sofa cushion, looking deep into the camera; she is curled up super comfy and due to her fluffy fur does not appear to have a neck.]

The other day someone left a comment on The Son Of Man and I had to go back and check some phrasing in it in order to reply, and in re-reading I went, “Damn, this story about a computer program who finds being a human incredibly stressful hits really differently when you know the author, ie myself, had undiagnosed ADHD at the time of writing.” 

And then I thought, oh, no. There’s twenty years of my fiction on AO3. Over four and a half million words, all of it written while unmedicated. Oh no

And then I looked at my bookshelf and went, oh, Nameless, oh no.

On the one hand, I knew I was writing about neurodiversity when I wrote both The Son Of Man and Nameless, but on the other hand like….not like that.

Fuck! I don’t know what to do with this self-knowledge and I do not enjoy it! Fuck!

as an autistic and trans tortellini i always found “the son of man” really relatable

Well, honestly, the experiences of trans and autistic friends were what I kept in mind while writing it – that intensive experience of being uncomfortable in a body you didn’t really want, and also the knowledge that you’re wired a bit differently. What’s funny is those aren’t even the things that were hitting me personally as I re-read – it was the stuff about the transition from computer to human, the inability to parallel-process, the anxiety of not knowing where someone is or how they are, the struggle to convert input into data in ways you’re not familiar with. And maybe a little the idea that you are not permitted to be loved if you aren’t useful, though I’ve been working really hard on that one for a while now. 

And NOW do you get why we all just kind of assumed you knew?

It really is funny how many people have been like “Oh, you weren’t just being discreet, you actually didn’t know.” Like, I am truly fortunate that I don’t feel anger at the level a lot of late-life diagnosed people do, I just keep laughing at myself. I am a totally neurotypical person who learned to tie his shoes at age thirty, can’t follow recipes, and took the doors off the kitchen cabinets so I wouldn’t forget I own tupperware. 

Apparently the mortifying ordeal of being known includes self knowledge too

I did not request to be known! Put the knowing back! 

i read and loved most of your catalogue without knowing i was autistic. i loved nameless a lot myself. the son of man is great but brutal

Oddly enough, I agree, even though it’s a fanfic about superheroes and Nameless actually was entirely about human relationships, I think Son Of Man is a much harder read in many ways. Perhaps because it’s narrated by JARVIS, whereas Nameless is narrated by Christopher, who is compassionate for Lucas but isn’t actually experiencing what Lucas is undergoing. 

Much of the new Shivadhverse novel, Twelve Points, is from the point of view of Caleb, who is an Autistic trans man; I have to say that while it’s pretty definitive that I’m not Autistic, it’s very gratifying to write a man who is at home with his neurodiversity and doesn’t give a fuck what other people think about it. Like he’s just “I’m weird and I’m gonna be weird because I like being weird and you can’t do shit about it.” At one point his amore asks “You really don’t pull any punches, do you?” and Caleb just says, “I’m neurologically and constitutionally incapable of it.” If you’re going to get upset because he’s cringe, you can take yourself out of his presence at no loss to him. 

#dude #dude you sound so much like murderbot right now #that I cannot EVEN #like…dude #lmao

I really need to read those books. Eventually. Maybe on audio. 

Sam, if it makes you feel better, one of my favorite authors - Ursula Vernon/T. Kingfisher - had this exact realization and exact response about two years ago when she was diagnosed. (Apparently the doctor said “clinically significant ADHD” about four times.)

As in, she had the whole “Wait, is [character] ADHD?  ARE ALL OF MY CHARACTERS ADHD? O_O” moment. To which a great many people replied “… Yes? Yes, extremely so.  We thought you knew.” (Also, yes, read Murderbot.  Also possibly read some of T. Kingfisher’s work - her Paladin stuff is light fantasy. Maybe not her horror stuff, since IIRC, you don’t do horror, but it is at least always horror with an ADHD protagonist.)

I’m actually ok with horror, it’s zombies and post-apocalypse in specific that I don’t do -- I’ve encountered her work in short form before and really enjoyed it, so I’d take a swing at whatever was there. Reading is still a struggle right now, a bit, but I’m getting there. Turns out shoveling out from under a spiraling near-burnout takes some time. 

It’s interesting because I’ve spent a significant amount of my life being aggressively “typical” on a number of axes and now I’m having to look at most of them again. Well, I suppose “having to” is a strong way to put it, nobody’s forcing me, but it’s difficult to find you’ve misidentified yourself one place and not look at all your other labels and wonder. 

Much of my writing is very deliberately either About That or Not About That, so there’s not a lot of actual subtext I didn’t intend to put into it. But in some of my particular favorite tropes (like Son Of Man with “fish out of water” stuff) there is some unsettling subconscious content bubbling up. 

Anonymous asked:

Re Shivadhverse : “Baby We’ve Got History” : CLASSIC romance! 😊💕 THANK YOU Sam! Got a very Hamilton and the Schuyler sisters vibe off the party-loved it! And the olive grove proposal-so Provençal.💕 Made my day.😊

Which is so funny, I've never seen Hamilton! (I'm familiar, naturally, but not overly so.)

It was interesting to write the story because it really is just a series of images -- a party, an afternoon by the sea, a proposal in an olive grove, a moment at a wedding. I especially enjoyed writing the proposal because it reminded me of being that age and working in the theatre -- you're tired, filthy, you've just had a meal that was only really good because you were so hungry, and now there's time for some Deep Talk.

Also made me want some bread and olive oil. I'm going to try my hand at bagna cauda this weekend, I think.

Anonymous asked:

Do you have an opinion on Jordan almonds*? Or marzipan**, though I think the latter comes in a few types. *has a French name but my key input refuses. Speaking of candy with lots of names! **Wikipedia says a Goa version is made of cashew! Relevance

I do love marzipan. Especially in cookies but I'll eat straight marzipan too. Fortunately, as long as the almonds are processed I seem to do okay with them, for now.

Jordan almonds I can take or leave. I think the problem is that I'm not really someone who's super into sweets. I rarely buy candy, almost never eat cake or pie; once in a while I'll cook a fruit cobbler or bake some cookies but even then, once I've had a bit a lot of times they go into the freezer. So like, if someone gives me a bag of Jordan almonds, that bag is going to last me for months, possibly years. Chocolate almonds were great for a while because it was a little bit of sugar and a lot of almond, but individual sized, so I didn't have to worry about rewrapping half a candy bar or whatever.

Because now, too, I don't do as well with sugar as I used to, metabolically. Too much sugar makes me feel ill, and "too much" is actually quite a small amount. It's rare I finish a candy bar, and boiled sweets (which are basically just hardened sugar with flavoring) are pretty much off the table. If I'm going to have sugar, I want it to be sugar I really enjoy, and Jordan almonds just aren't that delicious.

I'd be into a cashew marzipan. Wonder how hard that is to make...

"But how do I get popular on tumblr if there's no algorithm??"

1: Being internet popular is not a good goal to have. Having your skill recognised is. But those two things are not the same.

2: You have to actually interact with the other human beings on this site. There is no shortcut.

Extremely important addition.

Being tumblr famous gets you ONE THING and that is yelled at

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@copperbadge​ Sam, do you concur? Y/Y?

Being fair, I have also yelled at a lot of people down the years and it can be extremely satisfying to have 25,000 hype men behind you going "Oooooooooh!" as you yell.

I will let this one pass, because before I saw the description, I thought "emeritus on a scooter".  I'm... going to make more tea.

AHAHAHA Mourinho as Michaelis? Yeah, alright, I’d buy that. 

You got your “this is what they put on the money”

[ID: A professionally-taken glamor shot of Mourinho, a man with mid-length grey hair and heavy brows, in a high-collared grey jacket, hands folded in front of him, staring into the middle distance.]

“Sadness Dinner” for sure

[ID: Mourinho on the pitch, in a jacket, looking perturbed by something.]

Young king trying not to laugh at Jerry and Gregory doing something ridiculous:  

[ID: A very young Mourinho with dark hair and a serious expression, his hand in front of his mouth.]

Making mischief now that he’s out of office:

[ID: A gif of Mourinho looking around from the touchline; he spots the camera, looks directly at it, winks and smiles.]

I’d include more recent photos from the last few Roma friendlies but you could set your watch by this man’s terrible haircuts. 

[ID: Mourinho from a recent game, fist pressed to his mouth, squinting into the distance; his hair is buzzed incredibly short and it’s...not flattering.]

Hey Sam, dash did a thing!

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I have been seeing a weird number of tigers on my dash of late! Some kind of synchronicity, or confirmation bias or something. :D

Also this reminded me I need to line up the nonprofits for the usual bookplate fundraiser. (If you gave to the last one I swear to god I'm working on it, there were Printer Issues.)

[ID: A screencap of two posts; one is the tail-end of my post about The Lady And The Tiger. The post under mine, from elodieunderglass and originally posted by @talonabraxas, is a surrealist illustration of a tiger who is stretching; the tiger's midsection is elongated and twisted around to form a coil where its torso would normally be.]

I swear this is not going to become a soccer fandom tumblr, but I need to share this with you guys, I NEED TO. 

The fellow pictured above is Jose Mourinho, one of the most prominent managers in football, who currently serves as head coach for AS Roma. When he arrived to take over Roma in 2021, he was gifted a motor scooter because it’s an iconic, popular way to get around in Rome, and also it’s super funny to see a guy like Mourinho toodling around on a scooter. 

The reason I am sharing this with you is because they call Jose Mourinho’s motor scooter

wait for it

THE MOU-PED. 

I’ll see myself out.

[ID: Two photographs; the first shows Mourinho, a fiftysomething man in Roma branded casual athletic gear, sitting on a white moped. The second shows him on the pitch during a game (taken several years ago) holding a hand to his ear and making a face to taunt his opposing team’s fans.]

Everyone reblog with a picture of your cat and a little poem about them!

Quality and quantity are irrelevant! Freeform/no rhyme is fine! No rules! This is for celebrating your kitties and being silly!

Fancy's gift for crime and grift

Is really quite precocious,

What suits her best? To be a pest!

Her manners are atrocious!

There once was a stray cat named Tim

Who thought chickens were just for him

He attacked a small hen

But got caught and then

My apartment became his own gym

My nayme is Polk

And wen I sleep

Upon the sofa

Long and deep

I do not cayre

For normel bed

Upon the quelt

I place my hed.