the problem with visual platforms like instagram and tiktok (or ones that limit the amount of words you can use like twitter) is that they are inhospitable to complex discussions of themes and narrative. which is why booktok/booktwt are both so stupid. they incentivise u to aestheticise reading to the point where even your personal annotations are more for the benefit of an unseen audience than for yourself. fuck understanding or interrogating the book that youre reading. what u need is likes and retweets. don't buy a book that will make your bookshelf ugly. don't crack the spine, read it once, or read the ebook and keep the physical copy purely for display purposes. only read about hot people, young people, middle class english speaking westerners. only read about people who are exactly like you. you must never be pretentious you must never be overly serious you must never be ugly. etc. its all very miserable
the most unrealistic thing about traditional fantasy as a genre is that if a bitchy little wizard came up to me with a "you are the Chosen One (chosen to perform free heroic labor)" spiel i'd send that cunt packing and return to my personal mundane-but-containing-wifi-and-lacking-deadly-peril timeline, thank-ye-very-much.
and yet, if the selfsame message was delivered by a talking cat? absolute and automatic acquiescence, no questions asked
Want to make a contract?
I HAVE NEVER SO INSTANTLY REGRETTED A POST
From the somethingawful forums, the live thread when 9/11 happened
This thread was wild, especially because the OP was posting webcam photos from nearby right after the first plane hit. Possibly before CNN even reported on it.
wow terrorists hijacking a plane that’s fucking rich, you idiot, you complete buffoon
This poster might be one of the first dozen people in history to publicly accuse Osama Bin Laden, possibly before any news agencies, and their post has the words “ROTFL Owned” in it.
la-volpe-bianca
🤔🤔🤔
shittyopinionsofficial
Posted not even 2 hours after the 9/11 attacks and this person predicted the next 2 decades of American public policy. Remarkable.
So sad that the British public has been so thoroughly brainwashed by their government that they've taken to a week long mourning period for their "glorious leader." Why isn't the civilized world doing anything to liberate these people from their barbaric isolationist regime?
This guy knows what he’s talking about. He’s one of the lead writers for Leverage and if you ever watch the series on DVD, do yourself a favor and listen to him talk about how the scripts got written. Some of the advice he has is stuff I use all the time: 1. Don’t introduce an important plot person or thing after the first half of the story. 2. Always tie up loose ends. 3. Introduce important things in the middle of unimportant things. 4. If you have to infodump, find an emotion to tie it to and it will seem less like infodump and more like a motive rant. Seriously this guy knows how to write.
you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it
example: you absolute coat hanger
as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk
example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night
asexualbrittaperry
Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).
Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.
… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.
I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.
Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.
“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”
derinthemadscientist
Something is
Something is wrong with our language
Is it a glitch or a feature?
cardboardfacewoman
Feature
s-peak-in-tongue-s
this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.
I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this
wow tumblr really loves piracy huh. this didn’t break 100 on any other platform, but got 10k notes in less than 24 hours here. yo ho tumblrinas.
“Girls gays and theys” <- uninclusive while trying to be inclusive. Bad. Makes me uncomfortable.
“Ladies, gentlemen, and other distinguished guests” <- inclusive but far, far too formal
“Alrighty gamers” <- Incisive of everyone, informal, and fun to say.
“Everypony” <== pisses everyone off. flawless
shit, timeline is messed up.
oh shit we’re destabilizing oh god oh fuck
