these pizzas are in fighting for their lives in the artic rn

Hey, I've worked at multiple grocery stores over the years, and these pizzas are no longer safe for human consumption. This frost means the freezer has been turned on and off and on and off a bunch of times, melting and thawing and refreezing over and over. Don't buy food covered in thick frost.

#these pizzas lost their lives in the arctic

Making long-form webcomics is like

I'm completely serious.

If your doctor has a TikTok account, get a second opinion.

If you see a nurse making a TikTok at work, make a formal request that this specific nurse not treat you.

They aren't thinking of their patients' care, they're thinking about making cringey TikToks about their patients.

I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.

BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL

We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.

They should depict her family status and name.

Mum‐E

stop being funnier than me on my own post

Favorite Thing About Cloud

The thing that distinguishes Tumblr shitposts from shitposts on other social media platforms isn't the content, it's the register. The hairpin code-switching between very formal and very vulgar speech – the kind of speech that will use the words "increasingly" and "fucktrumpet" in the same sentence.

It's the Homestuck accent

Thank you so much! This is the absolute worst way you could've described this type of speech

NOOOOOOO

Change it back!!!

Spongebob

It's us

Alternatively

This is how I play with my dolls. I wish this was how people reacted

PSA!

When you’re copying a URL that has a question mark in it, that question mark AND EVERYTHING AFTER IT are completely unnecessary. It’s tracking data telling the website whether you copied the URL from their share function, or visited them via twitter, or what search terms you used to find that page.

So a URL that looks like this:

https://www.somewebsite.com/article/thingthatscool?ID=26079&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&&trackingid=509x1052199823&m_sc=sem&m_sb=Google&m_tp=PLA&m_ac=Google_SH_PLA_Tabletop&m_ag=Noritake&m_cn=GS_Dinnerware_PLA_Restructure&m_pi=go_cmp-13050559898_adg-127803968051_ad-520677613594_pla-1260381317191_dev-c_ext-_prd-37725010212USAgo_cmp-13050559898_adg-127803968051_ad-_pla-1260381317191_dev-c_ext-&gclid=Cj0KCQjw54iXBhCXARIsADWpsG9Z5UOydUwZHBdA_NFYMTu3kG2u3kzIT-ooPt5bd3ZtAgyRnF0aqE4aAozBEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

can usually become

https://www.somewebsite.com/article/thingthatscool

You can delete all that tracking shit, and the URL should still work. You can even test it in a new tab first before sharing it, if you're an anxious mess like me.

Go forth and tell your friends! And maybe I will no longer have to see URLs on tumblr or Discord that take up a full screen.

“um, er, if Loid is supposed to be so smart, why hasn’t he questioned the fact that Yor has superhuman strength and hyper-capable fighting prowess???” because it’s funny

i don’t know what the scene is like on tumblr but there’s a weirdly non-zero amount of people on twitter who keep pushing this take and they’re getting dangerously close to just flat-out saying “plot hole, ding???” Spy x Family is a comedy, please relax

Anti-revenge narrative this, anti-revenge narrative that, I personally think that Inigo Montoya had the right idea when he stabbed Count Rugen in the gut and said "I want my father back, you son of a bitch"

A lot of revenge arcs end with the hero saying "there's nothing you can do to bring my loved one back, so me seeking revenge is pointless." The Princess Bride's revenge arc ends with Inigo Montoya saying "there's nothing you can do to bring my loved one back, so there's nothing that can save you."

do it for her (your thirteen year old self)

the thing is, also... every discussion about Whether The MCU Is Garbage or Is Disney Irredeemably Evil or Has Star Wars Gone On Too Long or Why Does It Feel Like There's Been Just Three Shows On American TV For The Past 3 Decades inevitably ends up at "hey but don't shame people for wanting to have fun and escape the continuous nightmare of late capitalism for 2 hours a night" and like. fair. being effortlessly entertained is a valid desire that deserves to be fulfilled. but the thing is. and I really don't wanna be That Guy but. if you're coming back home from your soul-crushing corporate job into your alienated nuclear household, tired from a busy day of doing some bullshit to make a living, and you feel dead inside, and your idea of escape is to tune into the next installment of something that's not really cinema as much as like, a long serialised commercial for the fast fashion items with the popular character of the month, then I'm sorry bro but you're not really going anywhere. you're not escaping, you're sinking deeper in. and look. it's your god given right to watch schlocky TV and then go read fanfic about it. but if you're wondering why all this dazzling entertainment still leaves you feeling so empty you just wanna scream and scream and scream, then you might actually have an acute case of going too long without consuming any media that has an intent beyond draining your money and time and a formula beyond regurgitating what sold best last year