yeah i really don't think they are either! i just think it's an easy joke to make lol
from shikamaru's perspective, specifically about his interactions with temari at least: 1) if he really wanted to throw such a hissy fit about not wanting to lose to a girl, then it just flat out doesn't make any sense why he purposefully gave up the match and then had the world's most bored expression on his face and wanted nothing more than to take a nap, and 2) in the hospital scene where he goes all "blah blah but I'M NOT A GIRL" is blatantly him just fishing for excuses for how he can get out of this situation so he can go throw a pity party for himself. temari realizes this which is why she doesn't say anything in response to this, when you would think she would be the first person to call him out on his bullshit
hmm i’ve thought about this before, but i’m not sure if i feel like there’s a “”source”” for the misogyny? while yeah dear lord does he have so much self esteem issues and needed reassurance that he questionably never got (i’d say shikaku is a good father even if he says he never did anything for him aside from playing shogi together, ASUMA, ON THE OTHER HAND....) that is a possible theory, though imo i just felt like his dislike of sasuke was plain and simply that he felt annoyed lol. i don’t think he’s been the type to care about what others think about him, which is why he sticks up for chouji when he’s being bullied, and why he doesn’t care at all about being promoted to chunin, etc
as for temari, i feel like it is kinda hard for me to say because honestly i'm not sure where the exact line is between canon and fanon but. i do believe it is incredibly easy to infer that..... yeah, she was put through a lot more or less since the moment she was born. as being the kazekage's child, as being an eldest sister, as being a kunoichi, etc etc. that is. a lot. i'm not exactly sure how i can better articulate this but w/e i'm sure the point gets across
i feel like her relationship with her father is incredibly complicated.
which is why i will forever be pissed kishi did absolutely jackshit with her with his edo tensei when she was RIGHT THERE go king give us nothing. i don’t think she remembers karura at all, beyond being a vague feeling at best. i do think that it doesn’t take that long to realize that, yeah, they’re better off without him meddling in their lives. but also i do think that she did want to have him to be proud of her, and that’s a large reason about so much about the way she is, even to this day. (it’s never directly brought up, but during the chunin exam finals, she did think that he was watching her, no one knew about the bait and switch yet...) and then when gaara’s made kazekage, she is able to at least understand his actions a little bit better. but also! yeah he just fucking sucks LMAO.
i do want to say though that, while the scene with temari and kankuro overseeing t10 getting yakiniku while kankuro says that she could've been a chunin if she took the exams last year was anime filler, the flashback itself is manga canon (it's in chapter 95, baki's the one that has the flashback instead.) that scene says so much about her i think about it a lot