He didn't just say "I love you" though. He literally said "in all of time and space, in all of heaven, hell, earth, purgatory and whatnot, in an existence that has been lasting for eons, YOU are my happiness."

Excuse me while I rip my heart out and throw it away before it can hurt anymore.

Remember that time Ted Cruz straight up said he’d murder Trump

#i mean #he’s killed before so

insp.

when you start shipping something out of nowhere

@causeitsmyboat

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

Ok but was it an expert on the river Thames, cocaine, or eels? I NEED ANSWERS.

small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

my uncle wants to give me a lil cottage in Idaho for free and honestly I might do it…. how perfect would that be??? It’s gorgeous on a hillside and has a fruit tree orchard and I’d start my own little garden and just do art all the time like ok how perfect ????

Here’s some pics from a lake 15 mins away and it’s 45 mins from the Canadian border!~ I’ve stayed there a few times it’s so nice !! It’s just very very very very rural lol

Reblogging for cozy rural forest cabin gifted to family member by benevolent uncle energy

idk what’s funnier to me, pizza delivery wizards, or three owls trying to carry a stack of pizzas into gryffindor tower at 3am

#no but listen the pizza oven has a floo portal in the back so you order a pizza and open your floo#and after a while your fireplace just YEETS a pizza out at you

Shoutout to Ed for identifying as agnostic after God ripped two of his limbs off

a total power move

when your legs don’t work like they used to before

not to be controversial or anything but....

new alignment chart for gays that Know Science…tag urself, im a chemistry lesb

Bio Gay all the way

Don’t call me out like this

me vs my problems

to this day this is still one of the funniest things ive ever read