an unfamiliar cat: (approaches me)
me, internally: this cat senses my inner worth
my mom posted this on my facebook wall because i dont want to go to the zoo with her
“You should never bottle up your emotions,” I say, kicking seventeen Emotion Bottles™ under the carpet.
me: not everyone is worth engaging
me as soon as someone tries me: lmfao okay you bottle neck having bitch first of all-
snort xanax in one nostril and adderall in the other nostril and let god sort out the rest
dongboss
mom: i think our computer has a virus me, an eight year old who clicked on every advertisement on each game site i visited knowing full well what would happen:
sitcom where people gradually get killed off and their spot in the opening title theme is replaced with dead silence
I feel fundamentally dishonest using the phrase “low key” so often because inside my heart and soul I’m actually and unambiguously and inappropriately obsessively 100% full scale high key about literally everything I ever think and feel and look at.
Whenever you’re feeling sudden calm its because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill
thank you
“don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is a beautiful powerful sentiment that i fully ignore when book shopping
Instagram MUAs will use anything as a brush 😤😤😤😂😂😂
This is the funniest video ever invented