i took a philosophy class my first year at community college, and it was the funnest shit ever - prof gave us a powerpoint and told us to fight with him when we disagreed so we could have discussions, then gave us his steam username so we could play racing games together. one time, he told us this story about a prof he had in grad school - guy was tenured, and apparently a great teacher. but he had this time built into his schedule where other profs would be in labs, experimenting, doing research, where he stood in his empty classroom with a warm cup of tea and stared out the window. for these 1.5 hour schedule blocks. and the administration would come to him and be like “dude, we’re not paying you to stare out the window, why aren’t you working?” and he’d say, “i am working. i’m a philosopher, it’s my job to contemplate the world and life and that’s what I’m doing,” and they couldn’t do shit cause he was tenured. and then every handful of years he’d pop out a book that blew everybody’s tits off and they’d get a surge of new philosophy grads come to study with him and make the school a lot of money.

So yeah, i think that’s still what being a philosopher is like

Y’know what? Fuck you. *Plays an acoustic guitar version of your leitmotif to show you still have tenderness and care in your heart, and compassion for others*

yeah? well fuck YOU *plays a music box version of your leitmotif to show that this is your home and its comfortable and nostalgic here*

No, piss off! *plays your leitmotif with immense reverb and a toned-down synth sound to show that nostalgia can also be about loss of what never truly was, a reflection of a reflection and a false memory of a false memory*

ok, boomer. *plays your leitmotif using discordant synth bass to display your spiral into villainy after you discover that your memories were a fabricated illusion that were created just to keep you complacent, and how that information is destroying you*

How many times do I have to teach you this lesson, old man? *plays your leitmotif in harmony with my own, intensity of both changing as our climactic battle’s balance shifts back and forth, eventually leaving only one with long, low pauses to musically represent our mutual struggle to overtake the other, yet not being able to exist in full without them.*

oh, you’re going to regret that! *plays your leitmotif on piano in short, soft notes to show that you’re being worn down, and that your energy is at a low, but with a steadily rising bassline that foreshadows your upcoming second form*

nobody really drops anvils that make people have funny birds and stars spin around their head anymore… they should do start doing that again

So true, btw can you stand on this x over here? I think there’s buried treasure under there

treasure? YIPPEE!!! (starts digging!!!!!)

THOUSAND ENERGY BEAMS ATTACK

I love this genre of tumblr posts that’s basically the online equivalent of playing power rangers on the playground

Sans sweep was so powerful the residual shockwaves accidentally killed the fucking queen

I'm rebooting because when-fucking-else am I gonna see this kind of combination.

y’all won’t be laughing when the queen stands up and her health bar regenerates as she enters her second phase.

saying “hm. must be the curse” every time something bad happens and refusing to elaborate is my new hobby

Alexander Pennington here with the facts that hurt

STOP CALLING ME OUT

I just watch a constant movie in my head and wonder why the hell it's not on paper yet. Written or drawn format.

Remember Grandia?

(Practicing, feeling okay, etc.)

Asking for directions

just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees

They existed *before beetles*

Why is this sad? Why am I sad?

https://xkcd.com/1259/

This is how I feel about Joshua Trees. They and avocado trees produce fruit meant to be eaten and dispersed by giant ground sloths. Without them, the Joshua Trees' range has shrunk by 90%.

(my own photos)

Not only they, but the entire Mojave ecosystem is still struggling to adapt since the loss of ground sloth dung. their chief fertilizer.

Many, many trees and plants in the Americas have widely-spaced, extremely long thorns that do nothing to discourage deer eating their leaves, but would've penetrated the fur of ground sloths and mammoths. Likewise, if you've observed a tree that drops baseball or softball-sized fruit which lies on the ground and rots, like Osage Oranges, which were great for playing catch at my school, chances are they were ground sloth or mammoth chow.

You can read about various orphaned plants and trees missing their megafauna in this poignant post:



three vases - windflower, starflower and lily of the valley

instagram / twitter / patreon

Exactly

Grand Old Boars can of course cast spells as a 17th level sorcerer

A delightfully creepy joro spider outside my window.

The idea of dragons in modern times is so fun because imagine a hot summer day on your vacay and go to use the hotel pool and staff is like "valued guests we regret to inform you that the pool area is out of service at the moment, we apologize for the inconvenience"

And people like "wtf why" looking out their hotel room window and there's this. This dragon just curled up in the pool chilling, literally, cooling itself down

Some of the staff are trying to gently shoo him away and the dragon does a soft little "rrrrrr" like a grumpy cat and a warning puff of smoke and they're like "fuck it i don't get paid nearly enough for this" and no ones using the pool today sorry!

[Image Description: A two panel comic depicting a legless green dragon curled up with their various coils in a hotel pool. In the first frame, they close their eyes contentedly, head up on the edge with the dark silhouette of two people standing several feet away, one with a pool net, wondering what to do. In the second panel, the dragon has cracked their yellow eyes and growls, with the humans having dropped the pool net in the midst of running out of frame. All credit to Ellohcee. End ID]

The answer to your question: almonds.

Let me be clear this was put- this was put into this fuckin questionnaire. To come for me. And I’m gonna explain something:

If you’re at home, and you’re Afraid to tell your gaming group, that you’re a snacker-

I’ve got your back. Okay? -Because its OKAYtofuckinsnack. Alright?

When you’re out there-liSOME OF US

SWEAT

Some of Our

BoOodieeeS

are betraying us Constantly. …i-

wOULD I HAVE CHOSEN?

this

Constantly Sweating body?

(cackling)

NO. iwouldn’thave. Does it require

Constant (??)

(guffawing & wheezing)

Almonds All the time. okay?

And I’m not gonna APOLOGIZE becausethesetwofucking

Elevated Beings.

These two. Hovering-uhuh-w-wwhats the wwhatawhatathe Preeeee the:

Light Beings from The Dark Crystal. YOU TWO.

SOME OF US ARE POD PEOPLE. OKAY?

I’m a little

PODLING.

and i NEED to Snack. If I could have

another Mouth. in my back.

(more confused wheezing)

So that I could- the Biggest du-bObsticle in my GMing. Alright? uh huh Is that the same place I

talk from

food needs to go.

we knowwhattogethim for christmas

a mouth back!

So that I can have a Friend

Shoveling Salami into an open furnace in my torso

while i

Narrate.

…

AND I’M NOT SORRY

I LIKE TO SNACKto answer your question