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@amysubmits / amysubmits.tumblr.com

I'm Amy, a 30 year old submissive My Dominant partner is @CynicalDom. We're monogamous. Our 24/7 D/s style is rooted in domestic discipline and traditional gender roles with him as the Head Of Household. He leads, I support. This is just how we love each other while living pretty ordinary lives. Our relationship style is something we both agreed to, have input on, and consent to. We have a podcast called Over The Knee. My asks are always open for any/all respectful questions. 18+ only. 
My main tags for my original content: #writing | #anecdotes | #asks.

AmySubmits Posts

Updated 5/27/2022

Short posts or anecdotes get tagged #anecdotes.  Asks that I answer are tagged #asks. When I add a caption to a photo it goes under #captions. Posts that that I think may interest those going from vanilla to D/s are tagged #vanilla to D/s. Posts that I think may interest those new to D/s are tagged #new to D/s.

All of my longer posts are tagged #writing. 

Random others:

CD’s posts: His personal posts are tagged cdanecdotes on his blog. Asks are tagged #asks. 

Our podcast episodes:

We’ve kinda gotten really bored with our regular rotation of meals. I usually turn to pinterest when I’m looking for new meal ideas but I’m struggling to even known what to search this time. 

If anyone has other ways of coming across new meals to try I’d love to hear them. :) 

I think it's totally disgusting that as a society we have to crowdfund teacher supplies. Nothing against the teachers asking for stuff. But kids pay a fee or bring their own supplies and teachers still don't have enough supplies or educational materials. Teachers use their own money which they do not get paid enough in the first place. Imagine a lawyer or police officer making a amazon wishlist for work supplies.

^^^ Thank you.

When I was in school a lot of teachers would give kids extra credit points for donating supplies to the classroom. Even though copies were made in the office, teachers had to use their own passcode to use the machine when printing so it kept track of how much paper and ink each teacher had used. I believe each teacher was give a certain quota “free” but it wasn’t enough to meet average classrooms need so they always had to supply more of their own after the beginning of the school year.  

Due to that, the most desired donation item was always printer ink and printer paper so you’d get the most extra credit points if you donated those, but also a few points if you donated pencils, erasers, expo markers etc. 

I understand why teachers tried to incentivize it to increase the odds of getting donations, but it also seems unfair that it then allows kids whose families can afford to buy donation items to get better grades than kids whose families can’t donate. 

I was laying on top of CD in bed after fooling around. He put a hand over my neck and another in my hair. 

“I want you to make us hamburger helper now.” He said.

I laughed. He asked why.

“That’s kind of a funny thing to say with your hand around my neck.”

Giving

I have some dear friends here who actually do post about personal sex and kink shit sometimes/often/regularly. I relate to them sometimes/often/regularly, even though I admit I’m a big, raging prude for a self-identified submissive and a sex-positive, body-positive (for whatever those terms were originally intended to mean, anyway) intersectional feminist.  But one reason I don’t usually share about these things myself (beyond general prudey-ness) is that somewhere in the notes on those kink/sex-revealing shares, someone (or many people) will comment something to the effect of, ‘Why can’t my girlfriend/wife/submissive do/say/be like this?’ Or, ‘How come I never find a <partner> who will/wants to…?’

Even though I (almost) never make shares like this myself, I’d like to take a stab at answering those questions for those (almost exclusively) guys, and I’m maybe sharing a piece of intimate life with J I normally don’t talk about to do it.

J can have a blow job whenever he wants one. For real. It’s not a ‘rule,’ or even an expectation, and it’s almost never all the way to ‘finish,’ but it is almost every day. I do like doing it. For J. It makes me feel good too, doing it for J. So if I just posted THIS paragraph, I might eventually get some of those, ‘Where’s this girl at <for me>?’ comments, because there are people out there who want that basically daily blow job. They want to know how J ‘found a girl like me.’ They want to know why their partner doesn’t/why they can’t find a partner who will…like J did. But the thing is? The thought of doing it for anyone else EVER hands down disgusts me. Every other person I dated did not find the same girl J did, even though I’ve always been me. So why is J so special? 

It’s because he gives to me too. His giving inspires mine. And it’s not a quid pro quo thing like…ok J will go down on me, so I feel ok going down on him too. It’s not because he’s my dominant/husband, so I feel like I MUST pleasure him when and how he wants whenever. It’s because I know he likes and wants me to give him some oral, and I want to give him things that make him feel happy and content and satisfied. And I want to give him those types of things because he gives me those types of things too. J gives me earnest consideration and detailed listening and patience and advanced problem solving and calm consistency EVERY SINGLE DAY, blow job or not. He gave me all of those things (among many other things I haven’t listed here) daily for YEARS before he got ONE blow job. Yes, really.  And (I hope) obviously, I give J a lot more than on request/nearly daily blow jobs. I’m pretty sure that’s not my top listed trait if someone asks J what he likes or appreciates about his wife/submissive. 

I wrote a couple pieces a long time ago on the old blog and the author blog about how our relationship is seen by other people, and about how J is also a giver. And I’m going to share my own personal defensive irritation that flares up whenever I see either a ‘where do I find that girl/guy/sub?’ comment or I hear something about how dominants (usually men…or just men in general without even glancing D/s as a theme) aren’t (or even sometimes shouldn’t) be giving, in the bedroom or otherwise. It’s just crap. J’s old friends give him shit when he is out with them if he calls me to check in; if he expresses open caring and concern for me and our son, but you know? That stuff is exactly how and why J has a wife/partner/submissive who will give him a blow job whenever he wants one, and enjoys giving it. J (of course) just lets that shit go when he’s being senselessly teased about it. But I get kinda mean. Sometimes, I want to actually TELL those people, ‘Do you have a woman in your life who will happily suck your dick *every day?* Because J does. You dumb fucks.’  I don’t say that, but I think it a lot. And you know how he ‘found a girl like that?’ He was giving. FIRST. And he gives as much as me. That’s what makes our relationship a power *exchange.* 

You don’t hate the elderly; you hate people who are living long lives at the expense of others, people whose longevity is made possible via suffering and injustice. There is no generational conflict and there never has been. You have more in common with old people living in poverty than you ever will with someone who watched the same TV shows you did when you were both twelve. 

reblogging this because some of you are acting like “the elderly” are a monolithic racist, sexist group who are just horrible and demanding. Ignoring, of course, Black elders. Indigenous elders. Gay elders, lesbian elders, trans elders, working class elders, etc. Someone isn’t automatically a shitty person just because they’re 75 and acting like anyone over a certain age isn’t to be trusted is egg-fucking-zactly what I’m warning against with this post

Just saw a post that asked things like…

are you unsatisfied with how your life is going? Are you unable to improve it on your own?

Are you ready to accept that you’re unable to fix yourself and need a dom to help you reach your potential as a person and as a sub? 

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Please don’t submit to a dom who thinks his job is to ‘fix you’ or that you need him in order to be your best. Dominants aren’t therapists. Even if you meet a dom who is a therapist, they shouldn’t be your therapist if you’re considering D/s with them and they shouldn’t see their role as ‘fixing you’. 

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As a therapist, I particularly take offense at this dominant’s implication that any positive changes that a submissive makes would be their success. A dominant can help a submissive reach their goals but, by no means, is that not still through hard work and dedication on the part of the submissive. Even when I do therapy, I don’t believe for a moment that the positive changes being made are because of me. The changes are because my clients are being given the tools they needed to do what they were already personally capable of.

Just saw a post that asked things like...

are you unsatisfied with how your life is going? Are you unable to improve it on your own?

Are you ready to accept that you’re unable to fix yourself and need a dom to help you reach your potential as a person and as a sub? 

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Please don’t submit to a dom who thinks his job is to ‘fix you’ or that you need him in order to be your best. Dominants aren’t therapists. Even if you meet a dom who is a therapist, they shouldn’t be your therapist if you’re considering D/s with them and they shouldn’t see their role as ‘fixing you’. 

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