girlwizards are an endangered species and should be protected by the federal government

federal government needs to be protected from me

Dragons are a lot like lobsters

Can in theory grow forever, usually die either crushed by their own hubris or by the hands of people

Come in all kinds of colors, but are commonly depicted as red

Powerful

Abandoned house illuminated by my car’s headlights, Rockbridge County, Virginia.

The ghosts who live there:

i wish cleaning the dishes was more fun. specially the bottles

fraggle rockers in the house tonight

actually its fraggle rock is

are you talking to yourself

mind your business

I think people sometimes forget that the Crazy Frog was literally a TV ad spot for a novelty ringtone. Which is such an unbelievably specific bygone era that its easier to imagine it as some kind of internet meme animation.

And then it was so wildly popular that the creators overlaid some of the sound effects onto bestselling 1984 movie soundtrack song "Axel F" and it was SO popular that people just imagine the song was written for the ringtone ad frog. From when you paid for ringtones. On TV.

Wait, it WASNT meme animation?? I thought it was just like that gummy bear song 😭

So I have some news for you about the gummy bear song...

well fuck me then, I was born in 07, Wii was 06

wait your younger than me?

Ahuh

I had assumed you were an adult

with my mannerisms?

just with the way you behave

I've said my age before, but i'm pretty sure nobody saw that post

it must have been when I left Tumblr for a bit

I found the post

Just put "red flags" in the search thing in my profile

we're about the same age then

My birthday was june 29 so yeah

That bitch saw the rise of Hirohito and did nothing

Condom machines off for the royal period of mourning💔💔💔

i think it is unjust to deny a child their right to dig a hole motivelessly

when i was 12 i was out there with a shovel for no reason

bong bong ba na bong. nyeah? ba ba ba ba no ba nyong. nyeah? boing boing boing boing boing byoing byoing byoing? nyeah? byoingbyoingboing yoing yoing yoing…… n…n… aaaaahhhhh. my daddy, an my mommy, and my daddy, an my maaaaa-mmmyyyy D-D Daddy an my mommy and my-STOP. …yeah!

JESSE PINKMAN IN THA HOUSE. 

ba da da da bum DOW. ba ba dummy dum dum baba dummy dummy dum ba da dummy dum DOW. bitch, bitch, little bitch. i made you mybitch. jesse,, bitch, bitch YEAH BITCHJESSE! …………bitch

no. i am……… the dangerr……..

i am……….. the. one. who. knocks. (knocks knocks knocks)

say. my. name.

mr white,

you’re god damn right.

hank, …. say my name. willy wonka? hh…..what? 

walter white? 

you’re god damn right. 

my name is asac schraeder– it’s hank– assaaaacckk sccchrraadderr his name is hank. my name is asssaaacc scchhraadderr. IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO ME. fuck yourself. …huh woooww hu-hu-oww wow-ah-ah-ah-ah-owwww. fuck yours- wuh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ow huh-huh wow. JUST LISTEN TO ME. fuck yourself. woooow wa-uh-oh. wow-ah-ah-ah-ah-owwww. fuck yourself. wuh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ow huh-huh wow.  wow-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-owwww. 

puff puff puff? t-t-tch. puff puff puff puff? t-t-t-t-tch. ha ha ha ha huh ha ha. ha ha huh hauh huh ha ha. 

puff puff puff? t-t-t puff puff puff puff? t-t-tt-tch. ha huh ha ha huh huh ha. h-ha huh ha ha ha. 

you. are not the guy. you’re not capable of bein’ the guy. i had a guy, but now i don’t. you. are not. the guy. HUAHdee da dee da dah de deeee. 

you. are not the guy. you’re not capable of bein’ the guy. i had a guy, but now i don’t. you. are not. the guy. HUAHdee da dee da dah de deeee.

i had a guy but now i don’t. the guy. da dee da dah de daaaaa. i had a guy but now i don’t. 

THE GUY.

My inspiration and genuinely the funniest shit I’ve seen all day

takes one sip and all the food i eat slides out of my ass still fully intact

PLEASE JUST SHOW ME THE CASSEROLE RECIPE

For a split second my dumbass thought the Fukushima nuclear accident had fried the rice

My phone takes shitty pictures but I thought y'all would like this

I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.

BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL

We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.