duchess of dumbassery

@a-salty-alto / a-salty-alto.tumblr.com

Icon by @chemicataclysm (Picrew Link) | You can call me Alto or Nessie. Just a music-loving girl trying to be chill and failing miserably | 21 and confused | she/they, bi, possibly on the ace-spec, not sure yet | multi-shipper| my AO3 | I don’t even know what this blog is about anymore | I scream about Persona (mainly 5) on my sideblog @yusuke-of-valla

The Buffalo shooting occurred in a food desert. That was the main groceries store and it’ll be closed for quite some time. So here is one concrete thing we can do to help and that’s donating to the link below:

Buffalo Community Fridge is no longer accepting monetary donations.

Here are some organizations they recommend donating money to instead:


best storylines are the ones where the wildest most off-the-wall shit occurs, one thing after another, unrelenting, and then at the end you realize it’s been happening over the course of like.. just a week. everyone’s been having a HELL of a week in that universe. that shit was happening on a thursday. of all days.


he’s been at the hospital for 6 weeks. y’know what was 6 weeks ago?? july 1st. the literal day after he escaped. he really said “oh no! I may die climbing down this wall! goodbye everyone!” and then skittered down the wall and was on a train having a mental breakdown before nightfall. Lizard fashion indeed

The detail that makes me go feral about this update is Sister Agatha says both that he has spoken a lot about Mina, and that the reason it's taken so long to send word is that he was just too out of it to be able to remember an address to send it to. And I'm just absolutely gutted by imagining Jonathan in a mental state for weeks where he doesn't quite know who he is and what's going on but what he does remember is there's a girl named Mina who he loves.

I think what really gets me, emotionally, in today’s update is that Lucy has what to us is an obvious vampire wound, and Mina thinks she caused it. She’s a good responsible friend blaming herself for her carelessness with the safety pin, and I just want to scream at her “it’s not your fault but it’s ALSO MUCH WORSE!”

Dracula: August 12 - Mina's expectations were wrong. And a letter from someone new!


12 August.—My expectations were wrong, for twice during the night I was wakened by Lucy trying to get out. She seemed, even in her sleep, to be a little impatient at finding the door shut, and went back to bed under a sort of protest. I woke with the dawn, and heard the birds chirping outside of the window. Lucy woke, too, and, I was glad to see, was even better than on the previous morning. All her old gaiety of manner seemed to have come back, and she came and snuggled in beside me and told me all about Arthur. I told her how anxious I was about Jonathan, and then she tried to comfort me. Well, she succeeded somewhat, for, though sympathy can’t alter facts, it can help to make them more bearable.

Letter, Sister Agatha, Hospital of St. Joseph and Ste. Mary, Buda-Pesth, to Miss Wilhelmina Murray.

12 August.

Dear Madam,—

I write by desire of Mr. Jonathan Harker, who is himself not strong enough to write, though progressing well, thanks to God and St. Joseph and Ste. Mary. He has been under our care for nearly six weeks, suffering from a violent brain fever. He wishes me to convey his love, and to say that by this post I write for him to Mr. Peter Hawkins, Exeter, to say, with his dutiful respects, that he is sorry for his delay, and that all of his work is completed. He will require some few weeks’ rest in our sanatorium in the hills, but will then return. He wishes me to say that he has not sufficient money with him, and that he would like to pay for his staying here, so that others who need shall not be wanting for help.

Believe me, Yours, with sympathy and all blessings,


P. S.—My patient being asleep, I open this to let you know something more. He has told me all about you, and that you are shortly to be his wife. All blessings to you both! He has had some fearful shock—so says our doctor—and in his delirium his ravings have been dreadful; of wolves and poison and blood; of ghosts and demons; and I fear to say of what. Be careful with him always that there may be nothing to excite him of this kind for a long time to come; the traces of such an illness as his do not lightly die away. We should have written long ago, but we knew nothing of his friends, and there was on him nothing that any one could understand. He came in the train from Klausenburg, and the guard was told by the station-master there that he rushed into the station shouting for a ticket for home. Seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they gave him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached.

Be assured that he is well cared for. He has won all hearts by his sweetness and gentleness. He is truly getting on well, and I have no doubt will in a few weeks be all himself. But be careful of him for safety’s sake. There are, I pray God and St. Joseph and Ste. Mary, many, many, happy years for you both.



I’ve read Dracula a bunch of times, and I’ve always worked under the understanding that Lucy’s sleepwalking was directly connected to Dracula approach. This time is the first time I’ve contemplated otherwise-

Lucy may have just had one of her sleepwalking attacks at the wrong place at the wrong time, and Dracula was like “hot damn, delivery!” and then developed a taste for her. What miserable luck if so!

pov it’s 1893 and you are a Romanian train station employee selling a train ticket to a guy who looks half dead and has no bags and no passport but definitely has to be English judging by his violent attitude


Dracula: ah, yes. I will escape this ocean vessel and begin my reign of terror upon the unsuspecting peoples of the English Isles. None shall stop me, and all my long-laid plans shall come at last to their dark and bloody fruition--

The people of Whitby, seeing a dog jump off a ship, spiritually channeling Tumblr: *DOG BLORBO*