the cdc recommends you take a huge bong rip actually

Source?

the cdc

if you hold an orc up to your ear and listen carefully, you will hear him

He is impressed with your strength. You will be married in the spring.

Y'all ever just suddenly have the overwhelming urge to swim??? Like not actively but you just wanna,,, be in the water and have some Peace

That’s carcinization working it’s magic

Source

one time over christmas dinner my dad said something about how he respected margaret thatcher and his uncle just got up, left the house, and flew back to ireland.

tumblr is the root of half the internets trends and memes

the curse of being on this website is knowing that shit like cottagecore and dark academia and the obsession with mushrooms and whatnot started on this godforsaken platform and not tiktok

the mushroom thing started with a fucking shitpost where it ends with "you cannot kill me in a way that matters" "im not fucking scared of you!"

"op what does this mean" "decay is an extant form of life"

I KID YOU NOT

tolkien fans are insufferable because you'll agree to watch the movies with them and then seven hours in they'll say "omg my favourite character is about to appear!" and it's a fucking siege weapon

I will not stand by while Grond, Hammer of the Underworld is slandered in such a way! 

I thought tumblr was safe from Grondposting

GROND!

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND GROND GROND!

I am against all misinformation except the conspiracy theory that Queen Elizabeth II is already dead and they're covering it up because it's extremely funny

We have no choice but to stan a queen 💪❤️👑

Killing abusive husbands when there is no recourse, on. But killing people skipping military service? I hope she was selective.

No, no, no... she wasn't poisoning thrm, she was giving them a "potion" that would make them appear very ill for a while so that they would be eligible for skipping military service.

Ho! Much better indeed!

potion of dodge the draft

Baba Anjuka my beloved❤️

I love how Geralt has this ghostly pale hair and yellow eyes and never talks and dresses like he fell into a medieval hot topic and you figure that’s just bc he’s a witcher, but then you met the rest of the witchers who are literally just dudes and you’re like oh. oh, so Geralt’s just Like That

“do you rodents think you can handle a semicircle” is making me lose my damn mind

This mouse is absolutely gay 

I'M SICK IM SWEATING WHY WOULD HE POST THIS I'M

He’s trying to get Hideo back. This is the equivalent of a Victorian woman showing off her ankle to entice her secret lover when he’s eying the harlot house down the street

and hilariously that is not why it is called that.

It is the circle of the bears cause of ursa major and ursa minor, and the circle without bears cause ya'know opposite part of the sky.

We lucked right into that one....

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

It’s really awesome that there’s a type of videos online that’s just Eastern European guys finding evil holes in the woods.

>go to Draculas castle

>he has a humidifier

>pour two liter of holy water into it

>leave

Everyone, do not do this! Your local Dracula probably isn’t hurting you, and helps manage the area’s wolf and rat populations! In fact, most Draculas never leave their castles for more than an hour or two a night unless disturbed by humans. The FEW recent cases of Dracula attacks have all been proven to have been the result of a stressed Dracula mistaking clumsy hikers for its natural enemy, the werewolf. After overhunting by millennials in the 2000s, there are fewer than a thousand Draculas left in the wild today! Please stop spreading misinformation about an endangered species crucial to the ecosystem :(

the relationship between a person and the native flora and fauna of where they grew up is something that can actually be so personal

what if we were both bucks and you killed me but you died after because our antlers were locked together in the Missouri woods

I think that waould be fucked up

does dying intertwined with another through hate bring the same peace as doing it because of love. waht the deer doing

Dang I don’t know that sounds really gay

I dont wanna be a woodland animal OR die. Can we get rid of that stuff but keep the being gay part

sean i have great news

Whats that :)

archduke franz ferdinand has been shot in sarajevo!!

michael myers being like in his 60s is so so very funny to me dude will not stop slashing. he should be at cracker barrel getting the senior discount