Keirsten Faith.

When you sleep through your alarm but realize your alarm never went off then realize you never set your alarm you just typed “8” into the calculator then passed out.

the drum is filled with hot steam and then sprayed with cold water. the pressure on the outside of the drum is far more than inside. the pressures try to maintain and find balance taking the drum as a casualty.

when youre in the shower and someone flushes the toilet

My Chemistry teacher did this the first day of class with a coke can, a hotplate, and a basin of water. I have never forgotten the scientific principles behind it, and here’s why.

There were 20-something of us in the classroom, all dying of sleep deprivation since it was the first day back to school, first class of the day. Mr. Moses was that teacher you weren’t sure how to deal with. I mean, the man’s name was Noah Eugene Moses, for starters. He drove a Harley to school, but also drove the bus. He had giant cokebottle glasses and a doofy mustache with shaggy ex-Beatles hair. He always wore suspenders and a grease-stained t-shirt because he had a potbelly and taught the shop/electrical classes. He wasn’t even really lecturing; he was throwing in tidbits of the syllabus in the midst of bad jokes and fun stories. We were all a bit nervous, because none of us had taken a class from him before, but his tests were legendary—nobody had ever made it out with an A (until I did, but that’s another story for another time and involves a really awesome bet and some hair cutting scissors).

Well, as we were fighting to stay awake, and attempting to take notes of whatever he was talking about, he was pacing around the room from here to there, straightening things and moving stuff. He was very scatterbrained, and it was easy to tell from how he kept forgetting where he put his coke. Turns out, that was just a ruse. He had the can filled with just a tiny bit of water, and the things he was moving around were stacks of papers and books hiding the hot plate and water basin. So he set his coke can down onto the hot plate, continued talking loudly enough so we wouldn’t hear the water boiling, and then knocked it over really fast into the water basin.

BANG!!!!!!!!

Three girls fell out of their seats, one dude swore so violently I’m pretty sure the devil himself cringed, everyone at least jumped and screamed, and I actually broke my pen in half.

See, with rapid decompression comes a vacuum, and with a vacuum comes a rushing of air that creates a massive sound. Think “thunder”. That’s the same principle behind it. His little tiny coke can of steam into a bucket of ice water, and we had a bang so loud the band teacher came in from across the hall to see “what was exploding today.” To which Mr. Moses responded, “Nothing, it imploded. Explosions are chapter 3.”

And that’s when I knew it was going to be the best class ever.

📷🌸 I took pics of the Cherry blossoms in Washington, DC

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

Imagine Guy Fieri as Gatsby, and calling you “Pulled Pork” instead of “Old Sport.”

Ode ode ode. |(Morsus Engel)| (via actuates)

anyone who can talk to me for more than a week deserves an award

Date someone who makes you do Aziz Ansari’s excited face

According to the song Seasons of Love from RENT, there are 525,600 minutes a year.

One line later, there are “525,000 Moments so dear”.

So, doing the math, we can glean that there are 600 moments which aren’t so dear.

And I think I just used one of them by walking in on my boss who forgot to lock the bathroom stall.

this post did not even remotely go in the direction I was expecting it to

Lana Turner in Imitation of Life (1959)

“New episodes” “7 seasons”

I’m not crying you’re crying 

do you ever lay in a position so uncomfortable you can actually feel it damaging your body but ur too lazy to move

One time I literally felt my shoulder begin to pop but I couldn’t be bothered do doing anything or move so that’s the story of how me being lazy caused me to dislocate my shoulder

even the princesses fangirl over peter

except aurora 

that bitch be faithful

look at phillip though

can you blame her?

Goddamn. Phillip could get the business.

So I went to Disney about a month ago and i got to meet aurora. she asked me and my mom if there were any “princes’” with us today. When I told her that I leaned more toward princesses she looked over at Cinderella sighed and replied with “yeah me too” and I think about that a lot.

*tries to watch 45 minutes episode in 20 minutes*

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

Orrrrrr don’t murder people??