I love cats that are wretched

Luna moth cleaning his dusty antennae before attempting to woo a female.

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

The spiritual successor to Miette

Might I also add

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from “i can has”. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they’re talking about.

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

Can haz snackytreat

(source)

A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die.

!!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch.

Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food. 

i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!! 

me, as a spy: ok gotta be quiet gotta be sneaky my joints: *crack*

So many of my mutuals on here I wanna vibe with but i’m shy so i’ll just use my psychic powers to send my love out to ya

Mutuals feel free to hold my hand & swing it back n forth a bit if u want

Oh no bro don't flash your fangs at me you're gonna make me fall in love with you aha

Honestly, this is an awful attitude to have. The Corona virus hasn’t even reached its peak yet in the US yet. There’s still plenty of time for him to get it

like to charge reblog to cast

The reason why I can't finish my assignment on time

That last picture looks like a mug shot and I just want everyone to know that this cat is innocent and did nothing wrong.

a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it

my professors: all our online exams are closed book

me: no they aren’t ❤️

Professors: Our testing platform can see when you tab away, to enforce closed book.

Me: phone.

Quarantine Day 20 by Gabriel Picolo

Based on:

im curious so if u sleep w a stuffed animal write in the tags what it is and what its name is

breaking news: prince philip, the dad from the royal family, is a nasty little thottie. and he just died from making it clap on instagram

u kno we all have our fingers poised on the trigger of this post when prince philip dies

She’s got the right idea and she’s trying her best.