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BlessieHilbert359

@blessiehilbert359

Just a tiny blog to gather the next Idea for my own little world! (DND and Fanart reblogs galore!!)

Tell me about a joke that you and your family absolutely lose your shit over that other people would not get.

Tell me about the very unique way you pick on each other.

Or tell me about a pop culture reference your family will never let die and you’ve never heard any other family use it.

*chin on hands* I just love hearing these stories. (I’m obsessed with little loser microcultures like families and very niche fandoms) So lay it on me.

My father is deaf. He lost his hearing due to an injury at a very young age, but because this injury was caused by abuse, it was not addressed and thus he was not provided with any deaf-specific resources until he was an adult. Thus, he speaks and does not sign often. You need to know this to understand the rest.

I was... probably about 16 at the time. My sisters, my parents, and I were gathered around the table eating dinner one day. We were having a very heated discussion about school politics, since I had one sister with a school-aged son, one sister starting college to become a teacher, me finishing high school, and my parents considering their retirement strategies from their own teaching jobs.

I believe the particular topic was regarding standardized testing and how stupid it is. We were all in agreement we just collectively get loud when we're passionate.

Anyway after a yelling match about what should be done to replace standardized testing, which we were NOT in agreement about, everyone at the table turns to look at my father who technically has the most experience and is the only one who has served in an administrative role in education.

Dad chews his food very thoughtfully. Ponders a moment. And then says a single word.

Strawberry.

Apparently, according to him, he'd stopped being able to understand us (an unfortunately common occurance, due to his disability, and one he's never felt comfortable interrupting to ask us to help him catch up) and thought we'd switched topics to what we should have for dessert. And, because of this, he thought the question we'd asked of "what do you think, dad?" was talking about what type of pastry we should try making. In his mind:

"We should replace [?????????] and it'd be better for everyone and we'd all like it more! Who doesn't love st[???????]y?ing? and then we could have more time for [?????????] and then we'd actually a?ae?[?????]t it. What do you think, dad?"

To which he thought, well, everyone here likes fruit. So. "Strawberry".

The hearing folks of the table also paused. Then burst out laughing. Dad laughs too. He realizes that he's guessed wrong. We realize what's happened. We catch him up to speed. He replies, I still think strawberry is a good answer.

14 years later, every once in a while during a heated family discussion, he gets a twinkle in his eye. A little mischevious smile. And when the table asks him for his thoughts, he strokes his chin like a goddamned cartoon character and says: "Strawberry."

To this day, it cuts through whatever family tension is going on, and results in us laughing to the point of tears.

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i am not joking we need to force teach cooking in schools. like. it is an essential thing for survival. do you know how easy it is to make things if you know even the bare bones shit about how cooking works. we need to teach teenagers how far you can take an onion and some other veggies it''s sad that people grow up not knowing how to prepare literally anything. and i'm not talking about oh this home ed class taught me how to make chicken nuggets at home i'm talking about learning the balancing of sweetness and acidity and saltiness and bitterness and shit like that and techniques and oil temperatures and how meats cook. it needs to be taught because it's literally not even that difficult and it matters so much

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i truly believe that knowing how to cook is a basic survival concept and the fact that so many people can't even make simple dishes is depressing as hell this is the sorta thing that should be taught at a young age. being able to take the ingredients you have around your home and turn them into a meal is like, essential and will make life so much better. you don't need to be a high end chef you just need to understand some things that can be easily taught... but then again maybe the education system is playing a roll against this and ultimately they want you to grow up to rely on mcdonalds for dinner. i don't know. please learn how to cook for yourself if you're able. i'm not asking you to hunt for specific ingredients to make some expensive youtuber's "best" recipe but if you know the basics of cooking you can do a lot with cheap canned ingredients. cooking can be affordable i promise you just need to learn how to make do with what you can get

Can anyone point me towards resources that teach those basics cus I would LOVE to teach my child this stuff but i dont know how to cook

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not comprehensive but heres some:

internet shaquille's basics but especially:

food safety + a recipe to demonstrate

how to learn to cook (just a list of subtopics, no actual tips)

basics with babish s1 & 2, but particularly:

  • freezer meals,
  • weeknight meals,
  • kitchen tools (although the specific suggestions are pretty expensive even with the lower end scale items the basic categories are solid, and you can evaluate what items you will realistcially need - eg. if you dont need to read temp for steaks etc the temp reader will not be relevant) &
  • kitchen care (mid-high advanced home cooking)

and then recipe channels representing various cuisines:

again definitely not a comprehensive list but it touches on most of the basics

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peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

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dont do this

I really hope its not too bad bc i actually love both components.

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

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Unanimous consensus: Do not do this

Other people: Hold on I’m about to do this

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Rip to y'all, but I'm built different. Trying this tonight

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Best I can do with what I have (I'm at work rn)

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Oh that is a... fascinating smell

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Don't do this

i think i'll try this tomorrow actually, it can't be that bad, im sure ive made worse cursed foods before

Hey y'all. With the Writer's Guild of America on strike, you might be hearing a lot more about something called "residuals," which are payments that the writers get for the studios continuing to air their work on reruns and such. Already I'm seeing people trying to frame the union trying to bargain for better residuals as greedy and unreasonable, so I just wanted to give you guys a peek into my dad's full, 100% real residual payments for writing some of the most watched episodes of American late night television.

Yeah lol. If u hear anyone trying to frame the conversation around residuals as writers being greedy, please do me a favor and punch them straight in the face ❤️🙃🙃

Adventure: Mishaps aboard the Mothlight

it takes a certain kind of mad bravery to depart from familiar shores to unknown waters, even more so when those unknown waters happen to fill the evershifting tunnels of the underdark. No surface vessel would be sturdy enough to make such a journey, which is why the sailors of the subterranian riverport of Irodorre build ships like floating fortresses, powered by arcane engines and loaded down with clever bits of engineering to help navigate the rushing deep. The Mothlight is the grandest and most storied of these vessels, if only because despite being equipped to handle every imaginable challenge its crew keep finding new and inventive ways to land themselves in trouble.

Adventure Hooks:

  • A recent underdark quake has pushed the Mothlight and the cavern complex it was traversing close to the surface, stranding it far from friendly waters and unleashing a tide of monsters from the deep below on the party’s homeland. Tracing these monsters back to their cavern lair, the heroes encounter a group of strange sailors in a weeks long standoff with the creatures they’ve been fighting. After overcoming the language barrier, the party discover that the Mothlight’s crew has been working on a way to shunt themselves back into the correct portion of the underdark, but need vital materials from the surface in order to manage it.
  • After having been banished from her homeland and an ensuing five centuries of swashbuckling adventure the drow Captain Xivi Balebriar still hasn’t learned her lesson, continuing to disturb the peace, seduce the wrong people, and stick her bowsprit in where it doesn’t belong. This has become a bit of a hindrance to the Mothlight’s operation as the grudges against her have begun piling up and collecting interest. One of these belligerents, still angry over the fact that Balebriar made off with his money, his wife AND his accountant on her last stop in port ( the two of them are married with kids now, much happier) hires the party to do a little dockside sabotage.
  •  After booking passage on the Mothlight, the party’s attempt to traverse the underdark is sidetracked when the ship comes under attack by a duergar ironclad intent on taking them all as captives. The attack is repelled, but not before one of the hostile psions slips a parasitic dream beast among the crew. Wracked by delusions and nightmares, it may take the party too long to realize that the enemy ship is still following them, waiting for the psychic stowaway to finish them off. 

Applying for jobs is a hell designed specifically to torment autistic people. Here is a well-paying task which you know in your heart and soul if they just gave you a desk and left you alone and allowed you to do it you would sit there and be more focused and enthusiastic and excellent at it than anyone else in the building. However, before they allow you to perform the task, you must pass through 3-4 opaque social crucibles where you must wear uncomfortable clothes and make eye contact while everyone expects you to lie, but not too much (no one is ever clear exactly how much lying is expected, “over” honesty is however penalized). You are being judged almost entirely on how well you understand these very specific and unclear rules that no one has explained. None of this has anything to do with your ability to perform the desired task.

It is hell! I want to acknowledge that the original point of the post is NOT fixed by my providing solutions (the way jobs are filled makes no sense), but also I want to leave some notes for folks struggling with these unspoken rules. 

Some brief notes on the correct kinds of “LYING”:

  • Always use “I” expressions, instead of “we”:
  1. eg “I created a solution to a recurring problem by doing [x].”, even if it was really you and two others in a group
  2. If you LED the group (or did project-management), you can say, “I led a team to create a solution to a recurring problem by doing [x].”
  3. This is because employers like to know that YOU can do, and they also value team-leadership. If you say “we”, they may stop you and ask what You did specifically. You can avoid this by just saying “I”.
  • Someone asks if you have experience in a program (like excel):
  1. If you feel confident using it:  “Yes, I am very proficient.”
  2. If you have used it a few times, and could at least google what to do next: “Yes, I have good experience.”
  3. If you don’t have any experience: “I have used it before. I generally pick up programs very fast, and I’m a quick learner.”
  • Mistakes (some interviewers may ask about a time you made a mistake, or a weakness of yours):
  1. Good answers are those with solutions.
  2. Bad answer examples:  “Sometimes I don’t catch mistakes before sending things.”  OR  “I don’t like working with other people”
  3. Good answer examples:  “I had a problem catching typos, so I implemented steps that force me to check my work.”  OR  “I prefer to do things on my own so I know it’s done right, but I’m working on trusting my teammates to take on pieces as well.”
  • Someone asks if you’ve ever led a team / managed a project:
  1. Try to say YES to this question (even if it is a lie)
  2. If you have, say yes, and say how many people were on the team. 
  3. If you haven’t, but you played a large role in a group of people, say yes, and talk about your primary role on the team. 
  4. If you haven’t, but you worked solo on something that needed input from other people, say yes, and say what the project was about. 

Additional:

  • Misc Rules
  1. You can ask people to repeat interview questions
  2. You can write down interview questions while they’re asking (write the basics of the question down for yourself, like the top things you have to answer). People will wait for you to finish writing, you don’t have to answer Immediately.
  3. Try to keep your answer to questions somewhere between 30 seconds to 1 minute and 30 seconds. You don’t have to time it, but if you find that your answers are taking 3 minutes, you might lose interest.
  • Have a list of projects / bragging points to talk about in advance
  1. Try to make sure they at least answer the core question asked, don’t just bring up a completely unrelated topic
  2. Example: if you are really excited to talk about a program you wrote, and someone asks about balancing projects, you can say you are good at AUTOMATION, and an example is this program you wrote
  • “Do you have any questions for us?” (A question asked at the end of most interviews.)
  1. “What has been your favorite part of working at [company]?”
  2. “What’s been your favorite project to work on?”
  3. People like talking about themselves
  • Thank you emails
  1. Some employers care if you send them a thank you “letter” (email). Sometime by the end of the day (you can do it right after the interview if you think you’ll forget), send a thank you email like this (you can look up other templates, or ask a friend for help):
  2. Subject Line:  Thank You
  3. “Hi [interviewer name], It was great speaking with you. Hearing more about the role, as well as what you said about [their answer to a question you asked them] has made me even more excited for this opportunity. Thank you for your time today, [Your Name]

Good luck!!

Im gonna need this in 2 years!

Honestly the “applying and interviewing for a job” is harder and more stressful than actually doing the job 999% of the time for me. I hate it so much.

Wait they ask about mistakes and weaknesses because they want to hear about solutions?! That makes so much more sense! Why dont they just verbalize the solution part!

The combination of being autistic and being entry level makes it extra hell.

Anonymous asked:

Yet another Monsters Reimagined ask- this anon would love to have your take on drow! Both the breakdowns of what’s a problem and the retention of what makes particular monster-folk interesting have been really good!

Monsters Reimagined: Drow

It's no big surprise that drow would end up being a popular request for monsters reimagined, as they're one of the most common "enemy" creatures for the fandom to try and rehabilitate, with this campaign going all the way back to the late 80s.

It's fascinating to watch this change happen in slow motion, as the rogue drow Drizzt spawned so many imitators within the fandom that it actually ended up with the writers specifically creating a goddess for " rebel drow that have decided to turn good." The drow in the Eberron setting ditched their evil spider cultist statist for being tribalistic scorpion worshipers instead (we'll get into the spider thing later), and right now the biggest most popular drow in the fandom is a hot-boi gravity wizard from an empire culturally focused on reincarnation, a far cry from the slavers of old.

WoTC has even gotten involved in the last couple years, making elves capable of shifting their physical sex at will, and using that as a springboard for a lot of interesting worldbuilding regarding the previously gender essentialist nature of the drow.

That said, there’s still a lot to unpack about the drow, and while different cultural templates now exist, there’s plenty more left to be explored. which I’ll do under the “read more” link. 

TLDR: If you want drow to occupy the space of antagonists, ditch the spider cultist nonsense and model them after the roman empire: a socially rigid society that’s merciless to it’s foes but exalts the rights of its citizens. This lets you keep most of the drow badguy things ( slavery and human sacrifice) while not having them motivated purely by evil. 

Alternatively, paint them as the counterpart to the fey-loving woodelves, and align them with the unseelie court: tricksters and riders of the wild hunt, 

What’s wrong: Like a lot of other things from early d&d, the drow as they exist have a lot less to do with any fantastical roots and more with whatever pulp adventure magazines the original creators happened to be reading. Specifically s/m dominatrix archetypes, the “ planet of women” trope, mixed in with just a dash of “journey to the center of the earth” exploration for flavor.  Much like the pulp archetypes they’re based off of, the drow are custom built to both indulge in that original male audiences’ prurient sexual interest while also attacking their insecurities. 

ACE SWAG BRACKET FINAL ROUND

CADUCEUS CLAY (Critical Role)

  • Cheerful cowman who brews tea grown from dead bodies and spent an entire bar scene nursing the first alcoholic drink he’s ever had in his life. He does not like alcohol.“ – anon
  • Canonically ace AND aro

c!TECHNOBLADE (Dream SMP)

  • Fervent anarchist who lives out in the wilderness with his best friend and army of pets. Famously a hater of orphans and all kinds of government.
  • Popularly hc’d as being in a queerplatonic relationship.

[Image ID: an edited Smash versus screen with an asexual flag background that features two characters. On the left is an official art piece of Caduceus Clay, a pink-haired fierbolg in fantastical clothing. On the right is an image of Technoblade’s minecraft skin, which resembles a pig in a crown and royal outfit. End ID.]

Caduceus is canonically aroace and his goddess’s Most Favorite Boy. He turns his enemies into compost. He has three brain cells and uses them to issue the most brutal burns you’ve ever heard in your life. He talks to animals but doesn’t actually use the in-universe spell to let him communicate with them, so he just scolds a frog for eating the fly he was following because he thought the fly was leading him on the right path (it was not.) The frog does not understand him. He does not understand the frog.

Vote for Caduceus Clay.

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!

please don’t forget the part where Caduceus spent like 100 years living alone in a cursed forest getting high and having meaningful, plot-relevant visions and then just. forgot to tell anybody about the visions. nobody is doing it like him.

when the media uses phrases like “the union is demanding higher pay” they want you to think hey wait i wish i got paid better you’re telling me these whiny writers are refusing to work? i’m way worse off than them and i still go in to work every day!

they want you to stop there and stew in your resentment instead of following the logic forward to hey maybe if i had a union i would have better pay!

and they say stuff like “working conditions” for the same reason because they know it conjures the image of a sweatshop or something and you’re like well that’s absurd writers work in offices how bad could it be they don’t have “working conditions”

they want you to stop there and stew in your resentment because you also work in an office instead of thinking about what the word “conditions” means and whether you are allowed to take off work to be with your newborn child

don’t be fooled by this shit. don’t buy into the idea that people work in any field solely for the love of the game yes even when it’s a literal game (writers work on those too). work is work! money can be exchanged for goods and services!

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also please note that this scientist is in fact the retired man who invented the xbox.

oh fuck i listened to a podcast that was interviewing him and the process he went through to make this bread, ologies with allie ward like he went through full on clean room levels of prep to ensure that this was 100% yeast from old egypt and had to bend over backwards to ensure everything involved was uncontaminated he then revealed that the original xbox logo...

is a sourdough boule

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Lowkey tho.. add a little cookig oil to the water

do NOT add cooking oil to your pasta water it'll do nothing but make sauce not able to stick to your noodles !!!! SALT your water to avoid this problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!