The post “Americans will measure in anything but the metric system” sounds less and less like a joke

I’m really tired of these mean spirited jokes. People will hop on any chance they can get to pull a “durr hurr americans dumb” gotcha but first of all if you’ve ever been to a nature reserve, zoo, etc or just think critically about this image for 5 seconds you’d understand that this is meant to be a fun educational infographic about how long a bald eagle’s wingspan is and while reminding you about 6ft social distancing. It’s not that deep.

Second of all, a lot of people have trouble conceptualizing how much space 6 ft is. Neurodivergent people for one but also just like? Kids?? You know? It doesn’t matter if you’re using feet or meters or whatever, they’re just numbers and for many people, that is hard to apply to real life space. Saying “a bathtub’s distance” or whatever can just be a lot easier for someone to visualize in every day life.

I’m not a patriotic ‘murica stan or anything but the “americans stupid” punchline sometimes really is just needlessly rude and makes people feel stupid when they didn’t do anything wrong. Idk that’s just my two cents.

you really wrote three whole paragraphs about how you cant take a joke huh

Punk is truly dead.

A few of my old friends decided that they needed to get back into hosting house shows since almost everything is shutdown. They haven't hosted one in ages, unless you count a birthday party with a couple of bands a few years ago.

They started talking to some bands and looking for our old jungle juice buckets (5 gallon food grade buckets that we put taps on) and it looked like we might be about to have a great time like we did in our early 20s.

Three days later and the pushback from the "punk scene" was horrifying.

They got accused of trying to kill people, called Trump supporters, and threats of being reported to the police(how punk rock).

They also got called "fake" punks because they own the building now.

It seems like almost everyone I used to hang out with either lives in the city or suburbs and are trying to fight regulations or moved out to the middle of nowhere. Although there are a handful that embraced this bullshit while saying they're the "real" punks (while still working their shitty jobs or going into teaching or other bullshit)

We are still dealing with a global fucking pandemic, Kyle. Killing hundreds of people so your shitty garage band can get exposure is, believe it or not, the farthest goddamn thing from being Punk.

Your mom suck me good and hard through my jorts.

If you're afraid of a virus just go stock up on toilet paper and microwave dinners and hide in your basement.

A virus that has killed hundreds of thousands of people, Kyle.

But I guess you and your micropenis are “built different”.

Punk is truly dead.

A few of my old friends decided that they needed to get back into hosting house shows since almost everything is shutdown. They haven't hosted one in ages, unless you count a birthday party with a couple of bands a few years ago.

They started talking to some bands and looking for our old jungle juice buckets (5 gallon food grade buckets that we put taps on) and it looked like we might be about to have a great time like we did in our early 20s.

Three days later and the pushback from the "punk scene" was horrifying.

They got accused of trying to kill people, called Trump supporters, and threats of being reported to the police(how punk rock).

They also got called "fake" punks because they own the building now.

It seems like almost everyone I used to hang out with either lives in the city or suburbs and are trying to fight regulations or moved out to the middle of nowhere. Although there are a handful that embraced this bullshit while saying they're the "real" punks (while still working their shitty jobs or going into teaching or other bullshit)

We are still dealing with a global fucking pandemic, Kyle. Killing hundreds of people so your shitty garage band can get exposure is, believe it or not, the farthest goddamn thing from being Punk.

Happy September, everyone.

Comfort women but make it 2020 woke

NHS staff/heroes get free nudes to brighten their day.. how thoughtful

Their use of art in this campaign is so insidious. The use of abstract cartoons is used to obscure what they are actually asking young women to do (and others, but lets be real here) which is to pornographize themselves and fo something they will almost certainly regret. Sharing nudes always always ALWAYS has real world consequences. If they had used actual photos showing what they actually want they would not get near the response they are and they would have been called out by the mainstream so fucking fast.

I dont want random people's nudes. I want a higher wage, hazard pay, paid sick leave and to not have to work 50-60 hours a week

Ewww like super ewwwww. This is just so creepy

The creator of this, and the guy you’re sending ur naked pictures to, is London dj “kiwi” Alex warren:

From looking at his twitter he’s basically your typical creepy “sex posi feminist man” who is obsessed with kinks.

He’s currently on his twitter giving out stupid, insubstantial responses like “lol” and “OMG😂😂” to anyone who criticizes his incredible, poignant and powerful idea. Seems like the type of guy i would trust with my nudes. Oh yeah also remember you’re here forever

Why does this Wigger look like a discount Mackelmore

Cash only.

This absolutely reeks of Elitist bullshit. Get fucked

The best part of this which people often don’t realize is that Dwight was the one who took the family picture of them. So him seeing that picture is even more startling to him.

“Gaslighting is soooooooooo funny, guys! NOW LAUGH”

i’d watch an entire series about bodybuilders in a tiny town

Fragile Men Need Entire Tiny Town to Feel Secure, more at 11

Have fun in the war dumbass I’ll be at home fucking military wives

Damn. Good way to get your fucking windows kicked in

shut the fuck up and raise my son bootlicker

All fun and games until someone with 3 confirmed kills shows up at your doorstep with a baseball bat

im not at my house tho, im at yours with your wife

But he’s got shooters all over the world 🌎 even when he’s away

just shot a load in his wife

You ungrateful asshole. My bf might be fighting for your freedom and you’re here mocking him for keeping your pathetic ass safe from the threats of the world. If a war comes to our country, we’re not saving you, you dumbass ungrateful fuck up of a human being.

Your bf is fighting for oil and killing civilians and probably cheating on you he’s a scumbag, which is why I just fucked his mom to make a better son

I’m gonna laugh my ass off when it eventually comes out that you’re not some Epic Chad that fucks military wives, but instead are some Balding Incel Commie that ERPs with little girls

And then your boss fired you. Hope the Twitter clout was worth it, dumbass

I hate men so much they literally are like this. Purposeful incompetence to avoid responsibilities they don’t want …………… the comments on this post on fb were So bad

Save the leftovers. Throw the whole man out.

Imagine being this fucking petty over a reasonable request to do even a fraction of the share of housework, and thinking you’re a good partner. Makes you understand how so many dudes can be clueless and full of shit on so many other topics, too.

I hope his wife poured a glass of spaghetti and gulped it slowly while making steady eye contact with him as her lawyer presented the divorce papers.

“Haha, that’ll TEACH my wife!!”

Dude, you’re supposed to LOVE her. I hope she sees this and dumps your worthless ass. While she has that glass of spaghetti.

#marie kondo your marriage

Don’t put up with stupid. If your husband or boyfriend does this may I suggest… well… treating him like the idiot he pretends to be? Use it as a “teaching moment.”

“Honey come here. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t know what Tupperware you have to use. Here, let me explain every container we have. That way the next time you have to put food away you know which container to use.”

And then proceed, in excruciating detail, which containers are which, what they are used for, the correct lids, and how to put on the lids. Do it in as condescending voice as possible.

If he tries to say that he knows, or tries to stop you in any way, just calmly say, “no, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by this. It’s okay to admit you don’t know how to do something. Next time just ask, sweetie.” And continue in as much inane detail as possible.

If he tries this bullshit again, pat him on the head, and say “good try, but let’s review” and then do it all over again.

Oh my god, it’s so evil I love it

@bloodytales That’s how you get punched

Okay but just this misses the beautiful point of this tweet. MJF KNEW people would tweet stuff like this back at him. That was the point. He’s the bad guy. He has a match coming up that he knew people were only kinda interested in. So he came for DnD. He knew he would get tweets like this and that was the point. To get people to want to watch him get beat up on the 2nd of October. MJF is a genius bad guy.

Kayfabe is dead, the people who try to keep up kayfabe are retarded, and the guy on the left needs to hurry up and die of roid abuse

has anyone seen that paddington has a twitter because that shit makes my day

im literally in tears

Wow I kinda want to go find it on twitter just so I can block it.

this thread is the absolute holy grail of repeated self owns

This thread is making me wet

“I voted for a guy who wants to take rights away from people I love and got backlash for it :(”

“I voted for a Vice President who caused an AIDS outbreak as governor of Indiana while also supporting conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT legislation and now my gay son won’t talk to me :-(”

FOR FUCKS SAKE

I will say they knew what they were in for when they began supporting Trump. But that didnt stop them because despite knowing that they might lose people for supporting Trump, they still care.

What bugs me with this is that you all seem to ignore the idea that people can support groups that are LGBT or are liberal, and still support Trump all the same.

They did what they thought was right and the least you all could do is respect them enough not to be such dicks about it. How many of you are parents or have family members you care deeply about. How would you feel if they all just suddenly stopped talking to you and hated you for the rest of your based on one decision? You’d feel pretty shitty.

So do everyone a favor. Stop making fun of people for the choices they made and respect them enough to consider what they might be going through.

“ How many of you are parents or have family members you care deeply about. How would you feel if they all just suddenly stopped talking to you and hated you for the rest of your based on one decision?”

You mean like how a LOT of kids feel when they come out as gay or trans, only for their bigoted family to shun them?

Yeah no, these dickbags can eat shit, and your apologist ass can line up right on behind them at the shit-eating line

this has been said better by other people but if your first reaction to the “seniors taking college classes for $10 per credit” story is “wow fuck those seniors” instead of “good for them, now make it that cheap for me too” then youre basically the same as everyone arguing against $15/hr minimum wage because they work really hard and don’t make that much so why should some “burger flipper” get paid more. you can rightly criticize universities for their obscene pricing policies without getting personally mad at old people finally getting a chance to learn

Nah, fuck the boomers

A couple and their child were looking over our Marvel Characters plush at my work, right? And the dad turns to his little girl and asks, “Which Marvel character do you want?”

His little girl, maybe 9, replies, “Mmm, I think I want Captain Marvel.”

Dad makes a face, and says, “How about you choose a real super hero and not a little princess?”

Me and my coworkers were about to smack down on this man when his wife makes a FACE and says, “Honey, you get Captain Marvel.” Then she turns to her husband. “Shut the fuck up, Greg.”

And that has become our new motto for dealings with mysogenists at work.

And then the entire store clapped.

the dnd “roll to seduce the monster” joke was funny when it was just a joke slash creative out of the left field solution to avoid being brutally murdered by the DM’s horror of the week and fuck with everyone for laughs but as soon as people started using it as a legitimate counter-move to every threat it got annoying fast because nobody wants their carefully crafted campaign and planning/worldbuilding to be torn down in seconds by your horny bard oc and besides it’s weird and uncomfortable for everyone else playing the game

its also weird as hell to believe that as long as you are charming enough everyone and everything is sexually available to you.

@ Every single dumbass agreeing with OP in the notes

WE

WUZ