This is the funniest tweet I’ve ever seen.

Dude, you can’t just post this without showing what that guy casually described as “a plate of fish and chips”

6 chip twat

this is like the scottish version of that pretentious brooklyn bbq place that gave you 3 ribs and a pickle

I’m very much enjoying every possibility which could have led to this picture:

And, my personal favorite, plus what I think really happened: he got a normal amount of fish n chips from a normal place to post a photo about what a regular normal guy he is, after which there was an ENORMOUSLY lengthy argument about how to stage the photo and how many chips to put in and the end result you see posted to Twitter is a picture of some very cold, gross fish n chips which have been workshopped to death.

oh, it’s worse than that. see that little design at the 1 o'clock position on the plate?

that’s official government dishware. this was a plate served to him at some official function, so british TAXPAYERS paid an extortionate fee for this scottish tory 6 chip twat’s fish n chips fusion, and he decided to post it on twitter to show off.

what a complete fucking knob

There is just so much in this post, everytime I scrolled down it just went places. I was expecting a huge plate of chips and two deep fryed battered cods and just lost with the “more chips than brain cells” then.. then I saw the plate.

This is very definitely not ‘a normal amount of fish and chips from a normal place.’ Those are individually hand-cooked chunky chips as only available from a posh restaurant with an actual chef. Probably costs at least four times as much as normal fish & chips, which looks like this:

The chips are irregularly shaped, limp and soggy. That’s also the amount you’d expect in a serving.

OTOH, I agree with @cipheramnesia​ that he posted the photo to prove what a regular normal person he was, and he succeeded in proving that he’s never been inside a chip shop in his life.

its not chips from the chippy if you can’t feel your arteries harden with every delicious greasy mouthful

tory cunt

Duck butts. You’re welcome 

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Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

I collected a bunch of "haha I don't have 2020 vision" "oh God not like that" posts

I wouldn’t mind a sequel to this post 🤣

I have kept coming back to this post to see the reblogs, so I can give you the ones other people collected all in one place:

This one I actually found myself!

And I don’t think that this counts, but it still has the beautiful “Ah, fuck” vibes the rest of the post does:

And let’s not forget the cursed “Supernatural GIF Perfectly Describes 2020″ one:

@ferrousferrule:  You said you were looking for more and going through the reblogs, right? In which case this isn’t going to be of much use to you, but still. Just in case it is. :)

also in Supernatural, that’s literally the word of God himself

How many people can say they have played rugby with a Beluga whale? 🐳 🏉

I’m putting this back on my radar. I want this life

Superheroes being 197% done with wii music playing

This is a gift to humankind

this is why I love this joke:

Jesus was fond of telling his followers not to worry about how they’d afford food tomorrow because God would provide. But Jesus told them this while handing out free bread and encouraging them to help people who were in need, making them the outlet through which God would provide for others

My mother was a waitress, we live in an area that has a lot of Christians and people would often stiff her on tips. Instead they’d leave a pamphlet with quotes from Jesus saying not to worry because God would provide

Jesus’ message was never that God would magically put food on people’s tables. God would provide opportunities to help each other, like the boat captains offering to help the dying man. That only works if people actually help each other

When I first heard this joke as a teenager I laughed at the guy who didn’t take the help that was offered to him. As an adult, I think of all the Christian politicians who vote against food stamps and I want to tell them “You were the boat captain but you steered away from the man in need instead of offering him help. Is that really what God wanted you to do?”

I’m not very religious but this is important.

WOW! This joke says it all! It portays a serious message that we shouldn’t overlook.

It makes me so upset when I see/hear people who CLAIM to be Christians who don’t help others who are hungry and need to be sheltered and clothed and provided for when Jesus CLEARLY commanded us to. It’s because of the cushy living that we’ve been living in. We’re so used to having jobs, having homes, having money, having food, having clothes, having everything provided for us since birth, and instead of being grateful and trying to use our blessings to bless others, as God commanded us, we decide to hoard it for ourselves and lazily think that God will take care of those in need because He’s God, when WE are the vessels He’s wanted to work through. We have been brainwashed into thinking that talking and thinking is the same as action. We have been brainwashed to ignoring our fellow man under the assumption that other people will do it so we’re not needed.

James 2:14-17 says: “14 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can such a faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? 17 So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

Also, just because somebody calls themselves a Christian, doesn’t make them a Christian. Even the demons believe in God and Jesus… and SHUDDER in fear! A Christian is someone who proves his faith by his actions, by helping other people and providing for them as Jesus had done as He gave food to the multitude as he chatted with His disciples. 

Also, remember the Pharisees? They were the wealthiest people in Israel and were considering, in that time, to have the favor of God because of their wealth (though they got their wealth through corrupt means). One of Jesus’s chief accusations against the Pharisees was in not doing good on the Sabbath, and in placing their own laws and traditions of men above serving and providing for their own people with the wealth that they had been blessed with. What was Jesus’s entire ministry? Healing the sick, bringing sight to the blind, and hearing to the deaf, raising the dead, feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty…. HELPING PEOPLE. 

So if Jesus was like that with the Pharisees, what would He think of US, who sit around eating and drinking and going on vacations like Kings and Queens, but ignore our fellow human beings who are waiting on God to provide for them, but can’t, because He’s waiting for US to notice? If all that Jesus was doing in His ministry was helping people and providing for their needs, then why aren’t WE doing the same thing? Just seems contradictory to me.

Also, one more thing: It GALLS me to see my fellow Christians say “Go in peace; keep warm and well-fed,” to those who are in need of help but ignore the Spirit’s urging for them to help, only for them (the Christians) to whine and blame God when they’re the ones in need and nothing happens. And God’s like, “Why should I help you when you failed to do the same for your brethren?”

Matthew 25:40 tells us that whatever we do to even the least of our brethren, we do to the Father and His Son — for good or for ill. Also, what we don’t do will be taken into account as well. So beware!

If you wish God to show mercy and come to your aid when you’re in serious need, then do the same for your brethren who suffer around you every day and are waiting for you to be God’s instrument and vessel through which provision and even healing can be given. God works through His people; if his people can’t be bothered to become the conductor through which light and healing can be administered, then God cannot move. For He has elected to work only through His people in order to bring light into this dark and cold and miserable world. If Jesus had not moved to help those in need, there would’ve been no miracles, and there definitely would NOT have been the cross. If the disciples had not done the things they did to help those in need, there would’ve been no miracles, and Christianity would not have been spread, and there would’ve been no Book of Acts. 

Hint: It’s called ACTS for a reason. It wasn’t called the Book of Plans, or the Book of Blessing or Encouragement, or the Book of Talking. It was called the Book of ACTS, because the Disciples took action and saw the needs of those around them and saw to those needs. THEN they told the Gospel. Same with what Jesus did.

I don’t mean to preach, but this has been ruffling my feathers for years.

!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!! FOR! THIS! POST!!!! AND YOUR ADDITIONS!

I’ve always latched onto that passage in James 2 because it hits the message so unashamedly hard in the head. Christianity is a faith of servitude and sacrifice. 

S A C R I F I C E.

It’s not missions trips that are more vacation and white savior gloating than actual service, going to the other side of the world where at “best” you make people *more* dependent on you, rather than doing the dirty and hard work with the communities struggling at home (those communities you conveniently forget about, you mmmmaybe toss some cans of food their way, or you outright criticize and hate them because they’re poor/foreign/alcoholics/etc.). 

It’s not giving a few dollar donations, blinking, then going back to the life of ultimate comfort and selfishness and accumulating your crap in a consumer-based culture.

It’s not intentionally refusing assistance to certain people, making them suffer because “they didn’t work hard enough” to “merit” help.

It’s not going to church services for an hour comfortably sitting coffee while you listen to amateur bands playing good music and the pastor making you laugh with funny jokes, to go home in your squishy suburban life and live like everyone else and forget about what was said the rest of the week.

It’s! about! service! and! sacrifice! It’s repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over in Scriptures. HELP THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUFFERING! HELP THE POOR! HELP THE SICK! HELP THE PEOPLE OUTCAST BY THE REST OF SOCIETY! God repeated this over and over and over and over again… probably because… IT WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM. It’s important for us to do this!

Matthew 19:24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.  

Tiger checking the depth of a watering hole before getting in 

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A massive grouper (toilet on the left for scale) 

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Thanks, Doc.

I’m not crying there’s just a DeLorean in my eye. :’)

Tomorrow is the last day the future will still be the future, before forever being in the past. I’m not ready.

This is pretty cute

How To Train Your Dragon: Snoggletog Log (2019)

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) dir. Peter Jackson

This took many attempts

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WHY IS THIS SO GREAT

I literally reblog this every time. It’s my job as a diviner.

Lol yes, how can we not???

Ok like this comment is the one that goes around now and constantly hits my dash and I can’t scroll past it a without being a fucking liar so here it is guys. Again. Every time.

Ok. Hopefully I can remember to keep doing this.

This is Lux. He thinks your gingerbread house has been on display far too long. If you just move it a tad he can take care of that for you. 13/10

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