Dear Mom, Dad, and other.
You may be thinking this is going to be an everyday normal text message. And I suppose if give it some time it eventually will be. Those momenwho know me would know, that on the inside I am truly undoubtedly miserable. My whole life. Miserable. Except for one moment of my life. Having my son. Nathaniel will always be the center on my world. The only thing that will ever matter to me in this entire galaxy. I've been going a long a ways with the pain and the further that my life goes on the less and less often reasons to continue with my life pres my itself. I am what I call uncomebackfromable... And I'm sorry... I'm sorry for the those who got to know me and love me. I'm sorry for who will never get the chance to thereafter... Mom, thank you for giving me life and I apologize for not appreciating it the way I should've.... Dad, thank you for teaching my most viable lessons and for making me strong. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough... Please don't take this as something either of you are at fault for... There was no helping me. I have no more excuses. Explanations. It bullshit. I love you both so much. Katy, I regret not being in your life more.... Im sorry for not taking the time to understand you... Im sorry for not being the sister you deserved... In a way I guess my doing this is me taking responsibility for all of the damage I've implanted on everyone's lives. Please don't hate me. Any of you. There wasn't much I could to endure... I love you. I love you. And I love you. 3times over. I'm sorry I didn't love myself too... I was.too unwell to ever gain. I'm sorry if I was ever more than a thorn in any of your sides. Please take my death as a token of rejoicing and appreciating everything and everyone y'all have. Bc not having anyone, can really twist your perception, abilities, and foundation like soft pretzels. I'm sorry that is ended up being reality with me no longer in it. I'll miss you. I love you. And please don't forget me... I did the best I could with what I believed I had.... don't expect to find a body. I'm going to dispose of myself somewhere on the outskirts of I haven't decided yet... And none of you will know when I do.
Suffering may be inevitable... But my ability to hold my composure any longer has brittled and is now gone.
Until next time... Au revoir.
Fuck you. Get home safe
FIN.
,
-Elexis Marie Narvaiz
-a memoir by Fidget0
