oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

I love how certain I am that I’m not the only person who stopped scrolling to let the snail finish crossing the dash.  

In fact, I would bet small sums of money that the majority of Tumblr folk do.    

my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.

i literally love tumblr

i have a private pinned post that just has a link to this dashboard on it, it's great. two dashboards for life

wow! i was really hoping someone would organically reverse-engineer this and find that dash.

here are a few other "secret" dashboards:

these are all just taking existing feeds of content and putting them in a dashboard-like format... the "Stuff for you" tab/feed is the same idea.

100k+ notes, the people must really want these timelines.

if only there was a tab bar on tumblr. if only the tab bar was configurable to let you add/remove these as tabs. hmmm.

"What you missed" *empty* Yeah that's what I thought xD

Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same

Me: I think I don’t exist.

Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.

Me: Jerome, how dare you saying something so sweet when I’m dissociating.

Me: Honestly, (thing that is totally fucked up for any ‘sane’ person) is normal, right?

Therapist: No.

Me: Wow.

Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.

Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.

Therapist: That’s a start!

Me: I guess he’s still my friend?

Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.

Me:

Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.

Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.

Me: I don’t need that kind of call out, Jerome.

Me: Hey, I brought you coffee. And croissants too, but I ate them. *puts Starbucks coffee in front of him*

Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!... Oh my name is on it!!

Me: Yeah!!

Therapist: It’s wholesome but... *very confused and silently*... How do I drink it?

Me, not being able to come to my appointment and having to call him: I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m so so so sorr-

Therapist: I dare you to say sorry one more time. I dare you.

Therapist: Hey I wanna show you this super funny image I found the other day.

Me: What-

Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS* 

Me: 

Me: Jerome.

Therapist: You went to the gaypride?

Me: Yeah, I went.

Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?

Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.

Therapist: Did you see some bears?

Me:

Me: Jerome wh-

Therapist: That’s the only term I know outside of the LGTB one, I wanted to use it. 

Therapist: Are you sure you’re not becoming roommate with (name) because of pity? Kinda sacrificing yourself?

Me: No, I want it!!

Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!

Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.

Therapist: That’s not very hard.

Me: I always wondered, are you queer?

Therapist: I am not.

Me: Ooh.

Therapist: Or am I?

Me: Ooh!

As an update, Jerome gave my appointment to someone’s else today so we were both in the waiting room, confused and he walked in, patted my head and said sorry but honestly it was hilarious.

The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.

This is a 100% normal situation with Jerome as my Therapist.

As an addition, more than half of my friends want Jerome to adopt me and refer to him as “Therapist dad”.

He’s aware of it and think it’s hilarious.

Me, after complaining for the 25 times about my birth father: Idk if you noticed, but I’m full of anger against him.

Therapist: Oh, really, I never noticed. You know, you should turn that anger into indifference. It would help you.

Me: Unholy gods, I wish it was me.

Therapist: You know, people will still love you even if you don’t offer them things all the time. You don’t have to do that.

Me: What??

Therapist: Why don’t you send a mail to your psychiatrist when you have a bad mood swing?

Me: Like what? ‘Hey Joël wassup, I’ve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.’ ?

Therapist: Exactly.

Me: You’re as bad as me with human interactions Jerome, y’know.

Me, heavily dissociating: I don’t exist-

Therapist: Can I touch you to prove you that you do?

Me: Dinner first.

Therapist:

Therapist: Damien, you moron.

Therapist: You need vacations.

Me: I’m broke.

Therapist: Oh yeah.

Therapist: You still need vacations tho.

Me: Jerome, I am still broke.

Me, by text: Hey, you just walk by me!

Therapist, by text: Oh sorry. I didn’t see you.

Therapist, by text: Wait. Were you at the tattoo shop?

Me, by text, totally at the tattoo shop: You have no proof.

For a bit of context here: Around two months ago I went to a friend’s who happened the live on the same street as Jerome, which I didn’t know. He was really surprised to see me and came to check on me, asking me why I was here with a bit of concern on his voice. And this take place earlier this month:

Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?

Me: Yes. Town’s short I guess.

Therapist: Were you really going to your friend...?

Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?

Therapist: A lot of drug deals happen in this street and I see often teenagers and young adults coming and buy stuffs. I was a bit worried for you.

Me, at 2pm: I’m sorry I’m going to be late!

Therapist: Your appointment was this morning at 11:30am, Damien.

Me:

Me: What.

Jerome is still not aware of his fame and idk how to announce him.

Therapist; What’s up with you and wanting domestic rats.

Me: I’m gonna get a rat and call him Jerome just to piss you off.

Therapist:

Therapist: How dare you.

Therapist: Weed doesn’t do much on me and I must admit I’m kinda disappointed.

Me:

Therapist: Do you smoke?

Me: Jerome.

On hard days I wonder how Jerome is doing

He’s doing fine, last time he shown me his fav pic of a red panda which is this one

I FOUND IT I FOUND IT I FUCKING FOUND IT AAAAAAAH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME FEEL

It’s really amazing how happy people get when they find this post omg

Always reblog Jerome.

Is he now aware of his fame?

After months, he is, and he just told me “Haha, this is funny. I’m happy it’s helping people!”

I think he doesn’t realize that he’s known *worldwide*

SPN FANDOM TRADITION: ALWAYS. REBLOG. ON. TUESDAY.

DO WANT THIS TRADITION TO STAY FOREVER IN THIS FANDOM

ALWAYS.

FANDOM LAW YOU MUST ABIDE

ALWAYS.

I will always reblog this

It’s here again!!!!

EVERY. SINGLE. TUESDAY.

So funny story; I listen to music all night (like I have music going to whole fucking night yo. It helps me sleep or some shit, idk.) So at midnight I was still up and I was just scrolling through Tumblr when RIGHT AT FUCKING 12AM Heat Of The Moment stars blasting through my speakers and I’m just sat there like

It’s a SPN family rule to reblog on Tuesdays!

IT’S TUESDAYYYYY!

Here we go again, hehe. :D 

Somebody posted this at like ten last night and I got my days all sorts of mixed up. I woke up this morning thinking it was Wednesday. 

always reblog this on the most magnificent day know as Tuesday!

And at that day, I swear we were infinite

I’ve yet to find a gif of this moment, so i made my own.

It’s the last Tuesday before supernatural ends….

Fake Service Dogs?

You’re sitting at a cafe with your friend when suddenly a woman walks in with a toy poodle in her purse. The manager at the counter informs her “I’m sorry, but we do not allow dogs”. She replies with a heavy sigh and a “She’s a service dog. She can come with me”. Not knowing much about service dog law, and worrying about getting sued for asking further questions, he sits this woman down at a booth. There, she promptly unzips her purse and places the dog on the booth seat next to her. When the woman’s food comes out, the little dog begs and she feeds her bits off her plate. This dog is not public access trained, and proceeds to bark at those who walk by. This dog is a nuisance and causes many in the restaurant to complain. The manager cannot do anything but inform the unhappy customers that this is a service dog, so he can’t ask her to leave. In the end, it’s the customers who end up leaving.

Now I walk in with my highly trained service dog pressed against my leg in a perfect heel position, and I’m quickly bombarded by the manager telling me “No dogs! No dogs! We ALL know what happened last time”. Confused, I tell him “This is my medical alert and medical response service dog. Her right to accompany me is protected under federal law.” With a sigh, he seats me at a table far away from others where my dog promptly tucks under my feet, out of sight. When my food arrives my dog is still tucked tightly under the table because she knows she’s not supposed to eat when she’s on duty. She stays there ignoring those who walk past for the remainder of my meal. When we leave, a woman by the door exclaims “Woah, I didn’t know there was a dog here!”

See the difference?

Scenario number two occurs at a local grocery store when a man decides to bring his certified emotional support animal into the store with him. Upon entering he flashes a fancy ID card and certification papers. This dog is not as unruly as the first, but he still forges ahead of his handler, sniffs the food on display, and may seek attention from those who walk past. You find this dog adorable, and when he and his owner walk past you ask to pet him. The owner says yes and explains how all he had to do was go online, register his dog, and a few weeks later they sent him a vest, ID card, and certification papers.

Now I pull into the same grocery store. I’m in a rush to get an ingredient for a dish I’m making so I hurry into the store with my service dog next to me. I’m quickly stopped by a manager who demands to see my service dog’s certification card. Remember, this is NOT required by law, and most real service dog teams don’t have them. After 15 minutes of trying to educate, pulling up the ADA website on my phone, back and forth bickering, and drawing more of a crowd than I want to describe… I’m finally allowed in. I grab my ingredient, stand in line (where my service dog obediently moves between my legs to make space for those around me), and I get bombarded by people asking to pet my dog. I explain that she’s working, she has a very important job to do, and she’s not allowed to be pet while on duty. People walk away grumbling and complaining about how rude I was when other handlers like the man they met earlier allow their dog to be pet.

Moral of the story? Fake service dogs create real problems. The ones who are impacted the most are the true service dog handlers who rely on their dogs every day to help mitigate their disability. How would you feel if everywhere you went, you couldn’t make it 10 feet in the door because people were asking you questions? Imagine how much time that would take out of your already hectic day. Businesses lose customers because word gets out that there are unruly dogs in their store, customers become misinformed and start thinking some of these behaviors are okay, some people even start to believe the lies that anyone can just register their dog online and make him a service dog. The result? MORE fake service dogs. MORE real problems.

I will reblob this until I die because it’s one of the few things that constantly genuinely infuriates me

Serious subject matter. Lying to get your way creates problems for those who are honest and needs what you are lying about..

y’all

a mutual of mine

suddenly has posts on their blog

with links to “find women to have sex with”

my mutual is NOT POSTING THESE

tumblr just got even worse

on that note PLEASE let me know if i’m suddenly posting random pictures of women with a link underneath the photo. don’t click the link, just FYI.

i do suggest reblogging this in case someone sees this happening to someone else they follow

yeah, same thing happened to a comic creator i follow during the protest

bot brute-forced their password and posted pictures of women with links underneath

keep an eye out and let the person know

so i was talking with the bf, and apparently it’s another big gaping security flaw tumblr has. because people choose familiar words or numbers, bots find logged out accounts and just start throwing words and numbers until something sticks.

most websites have a 3 strikes and you’re locked down until verified from your email. Tumblr doesn’t have that.

words are not enough to explain how proud I am of them ❤️

i had a poll on DA so i will be doing basic how to stuff of the results

OH GOD MY HEART

when bts haven’t had their next comeback yet and ARMY makes a horror text au fanfic trend worldwide:

https://instagram.com/p/BcH0G8pB9Ut/

NO PHOTOSET HAS MADE ME HAPPIER.

MY FAVORITE PHOTOSET IS BACK

today at work a man brought a pug in on a leash and that pug was so excited and happy to see me it was as if we were old friends who havent been in contact in 7 years i felt so loved in that moment

today a bassett hound came in and wagged her tail so furiously all of her loose skin started to jiggle and she was so pumped to see me i want more dogs to come into my store they make my life whole and worthwhile

I’m so glad this came back cause a golden retriever named Milly came in today who put her paws on my register counter and wanted to say hi to me and I loved her so much and I scratched her ears and she gave me that classic dopey dog smile 

yesterday a girl came in with her boyfriend and in her hand was a tiny tan colored dog that she told me was a chihuahua/pekingese mix and he had a severe underbite and one little canine tooth was poking out and his ears were like bent at the tips and i immediately commented on how amazing he was and she goes omg thanks do you wanna pet him and i was like there is literally nothing more i want to do while being on the clock right now than to pet this incredible tiny dog and he was so sweet and licked my hand and his name was spike 

yesterday these people came in and put a blanket into one of our shopping baskets and it started to move and i was like omg whats in there and they set it down on the counter and the blanket kept moving and the suspense was so good like is it gonna be a cat is it gonna be a ferret maybe a lizard and then the smallest chihuahua ive ever seen in my life popped her little head out and licked my finger and i died 

A baby german shepherd named Jonathan came in tonight and since i was on the sales floor and not behind a counter i say to the owner omg can i pet this angel and they were like yeah of course and i crouched down and Jonathan ran into my arms and almost tripped over his puppy feet it was 12/10

TODAY a german shepherd named london grabbed one of our lanterns off the shelf and was carrying it around and the owner was like, “london no, we’re not getting that” and gave him the merchandise she was buying instead and he carried it to me and dropped it on the counter at my register and i could have cried 

I want everyone to know both London and Jonathan (Jonnie) came in the other day on the same day. Jonnie is much larger since the last time I saw him but still sweet and still acts like a pup, he barked at something in our footwear department. London still likes to carry things and put his paws up on my register to say hello, he carried the insoles his owner bought out the door for her. Also thanks for the notes, it’s nice to see so many people appreciate dogs on here. Another reminder, I see a lot of dogs because I work in a sporting goods store in a strip mall next door to a Petco and we absolutely allow dogs in our store. I live in a mountain town in Colorado and dogs are common here because there are lots of fun outdoor stuff to do with them. 

A sheltie in a Petco shopping cart came in yesterday and her name was Sadie and she was so excited to say hi that she jumped out of the cart, onto my register counter, but she missed and Mufasa’d her way to the floor, but she was okay. The owner just let her sit on the counter and she was very well behaved and she gently smelled every item I scanned and also my hand. She was obsessed with her neck being scratched. 

today a black lab name paxton came in off leash and he jiggled his way into our back room because the door was open and i yelled He Is Employed! and told his owner that we’d be happy to hire him and then eventually he made his way up to the front by himself and into the register area behind the counter and now he’s my new manager 

my boss sent me this picture she took from the window at work today after i left. its not a dog, but it is a goat wearing a cowboy hat. 

today a 12 week old dichromatic pitbull puppy named Spot was so tired that he was splayed out on our tile flooring, all four legs sticking out while his people tried on shoes. i asked to pet him and he wagged his tail and rolled over so i could scratch his belly

Today my boss found a lost little Australian shepherd puppy without a collar running around the parking lot and caught her and brought her in the store and I played with her on my lunch break and she was so cute and so sweet and was probably no older than like 9 weeks. Eventually her people came and claimed her. Her name is Panda and she’s in the process of being trained as a service dog for an elderly veteran with one leg.

today a bengal kitten named strider came in and he licked my finger. hes not a dog but hes is very important 

http://iglovequotes.net/

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.

I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.

We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.

My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.

Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down.

@vulpeofthemarauders

Hi, if you are a teen or an adult who watches/uses things that were “made for kids” or where kids were the target market,

(ex: Disney movies, stuffed animals, Steven Universe)

Please like or reblog this, I’m trying to prove a point.

Ossi Saarinen | @soosseli