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@discodaydream

@nahcardoso

https://iglovequotes.net/

edited from weheartit

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It’s not that you have issues…… it’s that you have a tendency to continue using instincts you picked up in childhood that are no longer useful to you on your journey towards achieving openness and intimacy and reliability in your personal relationships w others. It’s not that you’re defective or difficult or incapable it’s just that what you learned to do to save yourself from the experience of abandonment or rejection or ridicule or failure is not helpful here anymore and you need to start thinking creatively and collaborating on better ways to cope with that instrinsic fear that you are not correct, that you are faking, that you will be found out and left, whatever it is

My therapist always says that any bad habit or tendency was once very useful, but it’s only “bad” now because it’s no longer relevant. It’s actually your brain doing what it thinks is helpful, its just running on old data.

I found that really comforting, knowing that it’s not me with a deep character flaw. It’s just a behavior pattern I need to slowly, gently inform myself is no longer necessary.

So you can even go so far as to verbally discuss with yourself when that behavior pattern was important and even helpful, and then (this seemed really crazy when I did it for the first time) thank yourself for developing a mechanism that helped you out at some point(s) and then remind yourself that we can let this one go, we can replace it with something more useful for now.

I know it sounds fake but you really do have a lot of silent lovers on this planet who look at you and wish they had your smile or your hair color or your humor or your intellect or your intentions or your heart, your manners, your eyes, your ease, even just you. People who are too shy to tell you what they admire about you or what they wish for you or who they see themselves becoming bc of you & they’re too shy to tell you. even tho it isn’t verbalized, the universe has still heard and the universe has loved you for helping out on its creations. You’re that person. You’re you.

— Lao Tzu

“A beautiful night for a lonely soul.”

The morning song. 1883. Book cover, detail.