okay, totally understand that you just needed to get this off your chest nonny, but I don't want to just leave it to rot in my ask box, cause i think it's important for lots of people to know.
I'm furious about that comment and that you had to be subjected to it. There likely is fatphobia in the community, it's present in every form of humanity and that fucking sucks and is dumb. The people that hate will hate and continue to spew it but know that there are far more many people in the community/world that don't agree with it. They will love who they love and honestly it doesn't matter what people look like, it's who you are in your heart that matters. (i know that sounds so fucking cheesy and cliche and some bullshit line to make you feel better but it is true.)
As a fellow ED recovery, I feel you, I really do. And know that I am so proud of you for being in recovery and being at a healthy weight. I know how hard that can be and how hard it is to continually break the bad habits on a daily basis. Also body dysmorphia is a fucking bitch, it's hard to block out those thoughts esp in situations like this.
You do not need to change yourself to find love. Ever. Period.
It might seem like you're going to be alone forever, or that you're struggling to find dates, or that dating apps suck (spoiler alert, they do, especially as a queer woman). But if anyone ever tells you to lose weight or change your appearance for them/if you want the to date them, that's the first red flag that you should walk away, they aren't worth it.
i don't really understand the whole "masc shortage" piece of this, because again, imo you honestly can't really help who you fall in love with/develop feelings for. Sure, everyone can have a "type" but if i look at what my "type" is vs the people i've dated or even slept with, it doesn't always match up. I was also a young baby bi girl who thought girls were gorgeous and i liked them sexually and romantically (the first person i developed major feelings for was a girl, i lost my virginity to a girl) but i always thought id never end up with a girl. Now i'm sitting here with a much larger preference for someone who is not a cis man. same thing; i thought i was only into femmes when i was younger but now i'm totally into mascs and everyone in between. I dunno, i'm sure there are people out there who only date femmes or only date mascs and that's chill, you do you. basically what i'm trying to say is that times change, the world changes, and as you grow and discover yourself as a human, your thoughts might change?
Man, i dunno, I'm just a stranger on the internet lol.
