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embrace pain and burn it as fuel on your journey

@black-quadrant / black-quadrant.tumblr.com

the belief that you can’t be critical of the media you love ain’t it. you can not like a thing and still be an avid fan! not all criticism is negative either. people often criticize through examination which is normal and a vital exercise in critical thinking. it doesn’t have to be “perfect” to be loved.

can't do unstable friendships. if I have to worry if my friend is gonna randomly unfollow, or-worse yet-block me then I'm going to back off quick. if you feel like you can't communicate with a friend you might not be that tight of friends. anxiety should not underscore any healthy relationship.

someone's anxiety needs to hear this:

they haven't moved on while you've been gone. it may look it because they're active in other things, but that doesn't mean your seat has been taken. you haven't lost any value in your absence. they'll just be happy to see you again.

Similarly, all relationships change over time, even if nothing happens in those relationships, because people change over time too! New experiences, new joys, new struggles, and new needs can all change people! Those changes aren’t bad things. They simply are.

If you’ve caught up with someone you’ve had to be absent from, and things feel different, that’s not a bad thing! It’s not a sign of a problem or a change in their fondness for you. It’s just normal. Life is an ever-changing tapestry of a million different things. When your threads re-converge, things will always be different. We just don’t notice it in the small gaps, in the day to day, in the same way you don’t really notice the growth of plants you interact daily— you just know that at some point, some change happened and you never noticed when.

But if you don’t see a plant for months, and come back, you’re like “Ohshit! Big difference.”

The people who matter will make room for you. It will always be different because people will always be different, and that’s not bad.

You’ve probably changed too! And it’ll be exciting to explore together these changes, and to explore what new patterns you will weave.

stop toning yourself down for other people. come as you are. be your whole self. you know what you bring to the table. don't hide parts of yourself thinking that's the only way you'll be loved.